


PIECES OF YOU

by soonhaee



Category: EXO (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:34:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 64,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29176512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soonhaee/pseuds/soonhaee
Summary: Woozi, also known as Lee Jihoon, was a successful idol under Universe Entertainment. His fans were elated when he announced his engagement to his long time girlfriend. But what she and the rest of the world does not know, is that Woozi swings both ways.In celebration of such announcement, Mingyu invited him and his group of friends for a last hurrah. It was supposed to be his last farewell to the other side of the fence. Mingyu invited them to Rendezvous, a private high end club which operated secretly and strictly for members only.When the star of the club was announced, Jihoon was enamored. Hoshi opened up desires and emotions that he thought he had long given up. He wanted to devour him. Jihoon found himself falling into the spell of Hoshi, the apple that he wanted so much to pluck from the tree.Every swing of his hand, the gentle sway of his hips, how his black slacks completely hugs his ass, and his collarbone peeking from the unbuttoned shirt, inviting Woozi to take a bite. What Jihoon didn’t know was that behind the mask, a past that he tried so hard to forget was lurking and it was too late when he discovered that the apple he plucked from the tree was poisoned.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Lee Seokmin | DK, Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 54
Kudos: 58





	1. SUMMARY AND CHARACTER INTRODUCTION

**Author's Note:**

> CW : Explicit content and language
> 
> NSFW Contents : Will be uploaded thru privatter under my private account @sexysunhey

**CHARACTERS**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The club idea is heavily influenced by a book I once read. It’s called the Blackdoor. I can’t remember the author’s name. DM me thru my twitter if you’re interested. 😂 The plot however is different.

**CONCERT ANNOUNCEMENTS**

**UNIVERSE ENTERTAINMENT POSTS**

**FANS POSTS**

**NEWS**

**FANS POSTS**

**NANA AND WOOZI'S POST**

**GROUPCHAT: Seungcheol, Joshua, Jeonghan, Jun, Woozi, Mingyu, DK, Vernon, The8, Seungkwan, and Chan**

**JIHOON'S TWITTER UPDATE (PRIVATE)**

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**JIHOON/JEONGHAN**

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**RENDEZVOUS CLUB INVITATION**

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**GROUPCHAT: Seungcheol, Joshua, Jeonghan, Jun, Woozi, Mingyu, DK, Vernon, The8, Seungkwan, and Chan**

**Jihoon’s Invitation and Information Card from Rendezvous**

**Rendezvous Guidebook**

**Hoshi and Kai’s Poster**

****


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW : Explicit Content and Language

**Seungcheol / Jeonghan Instagram Post**

**Jihoon / Nana IG Post (Private)**

**Jeonghan / Jun IG Post (Private)**

**DK / Vernon / Seungkwan / The8 IG Post**

**Seungkwan / Seokmin / Jun Twitter Post (Private)**

**Jihoon Twitter Post (Private)**

**JIHOON**

They arrived in a secluded part of the city where they found a building with a single red door with two pillars on both side with just a single light illuminating it. There was no sign, nor any extravagant decoration. The building itself looked old, with no visible windows. The dimmed lighting in all the right places accented the mysterious it’s trying to achieve. But despite of how decrepit it looked, it has an aura of mystery dragging you to take a closer look.

On the door was a modern keypad, which Mingyu took in charged of. He hurriedly entered the pin before he ushered everyone in. They were met with another entrance. A tunnel looking path that has another red door at the end, with a green light on top of it.

“Masks on, everyone.” Mingyu said and everyone complied. “Behind that door, there will be someone who will welcome us. You have to give him your code name and password. Enter when the light is green.”

He walked towards the door and stopped to turn back to them.

“I almost forgot. Don’t be alarmed if he touches you or something, just relax and enjoy.” Mingyu smiled and winked mysteriously before he disappeared behind the door turning the light on top red.

Jihoon was nervous. He was wearing a mask but he had never been felt more exposed and vulnerable to world. What if someone recognizes him? He asked himself. But Seungcheol, having checked on the club himself, assured him of the strictest privacy measures that the club has in place. Even if someone does recognized him, every member were asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

“Hyung, no one will be interested in you once inside, okay?” Mingyu reassured him, so he relaxed and decided to fuck it. It was his last night to be as real as he can be, in a few weeks or months he’ll be a married man and must give up the lifestyle that only a few people know.

He watched as the last of his friends entered the red door. He took deep breaths as he waited for the light to turn green, before fixing himself in front of one of the full length mirrors. He was wearing a black tuxedo which matched the mask that was provided to him. It was a black mask with gold accents and with a molded sun in the middle. He wanted a simpler one but Mingyu told him that each mask was personalized according to the personality and profile given by the member.

“How exactly did the club get our personality profiles?” Jihoon asked Mingyu that time he asked about the mask.

“Well, I sort of answered everything for you guys.” Mingyu plainly answered with no hint of guilt. “Iknow you guys anyways.”

Jihoon shivered from the memory. Every one his friends knew one another like the back of their hands. They all met in college except for Seungcheol, him, and two other friends who were no longer with them, whom he met in secondary school. Seungcheol was the older brother he never had. Their family’s were close with each other. They didn’t really hit it off at once, with Jihoon being the quiet type and Seungcheol having more of a beagle personality. They became closer when Jihoon was crying over something that he couldn’t remember and Seungcheol was there comforting him. Seungcheol was Jihoon’s sort of first crush and first kiss, which turned out to be a mistake when after the kiss Jihoon felt mildly disgusted and declared it felt like kissing his brother, making Seungcheol laugh. They met their other friends in college. Like Mingyu was his roommate; Dk, Seungkwan, Joshua, and Jeonghan were all from their vocal team; he met Vernon through Seungcheol; and Th8 and Jun through another mutual friend.

He was broken from his reverie when the light suddenly turned green. Jihoon gulped before walking towards the door. Hand on the door knob, he took a deep breath before turning it. What waited for him behind the door was a another huge entry way covered with thick red curtains, guarded by two people in plain black masks.

“Name and password?”

“Israfil.” Jihoon paused before providing the password. “Descensus Averno Facilis Est.”

The person nodded and gestured the other person to guide him. He was ready to be accosted by lights and sounds but to his surprise the second person pushed him towards the wall and palmed his sleeping manhood. He didn’t know how to react at first and balatedly realized that thr stranger in a mask was palming him through his slacks. Jihoon shivered as the man used both his hand to trace the outline of Jihoon’s cock.

“Uhh.. w—what are you doing?”

“I’m preparing you, sir.” Said the man behind the mask as he continued to massage Jihoon’s privates.

“Ahh.. shit..”

He was already half hard when the man released him and guided him to the final entry way where his hazy senses was suddenly accosted by loud noise and red light. He knew it was a club but he wasn’t prepared as to what welcomed him. Everything yelled of sex, sex, and sex but it was dripping in luxury and money. Everyone was wearing a suit and mask decorated according to each one’s personality, except for the servers who were all wearing plain black mask, with black lace chokers, and laced thongs that accented all their hardened manhood and completely exposed their backside. Their upper body were all oiled up accenting the abs, but aside from that everything seemed toned down compared to his expectation.

Jihoon looked around the club some more and expected more lewd scenes but surprise to find none. Someone on the stage was dancing on a pole wearing nothing but a thong.

“Hyung, come on. We’re in the front.” Mingyu said as he pulled Jihoon towards their booth which was right in front of the stage.

“It’s— it’s—“

“Innocent?” Joshua provided.

Jihoon laughed as he took a seat beside Seungcheol and Jeonghan who seemed to be having a small and hushed argument with Jeonghan finally crossing his arms and turning away from Seungcheol.

“Yeah, except for the man outside who manhandled me, everything seemed pretty timid. I guessed Mingyu oversold this place.” Jihoon explained as he watched the dancer on the stage jumped towards the pole, before stretching his legs in a split upside down.

“Okay, that’s pretty impressive.” Jihoon gestured to the dancer as he ordered whiskey from the server.

“Oh, hyung everything happens on the upper floors. This floor is pretty much just a strip club and if you want a lap dance you have to go to one of those private booths.” Mingyu answered gesturing to the booths at the side of the bar with thick curtains. “We can go there if you want, just after the show.”

“Show?” Jihoon asked.

“Yes, every body is here for one reason, the strip show. It’s the only way that they could have glimpse of the ever untouchable Hoshi and Kai.” Mingyu explained.

“Hoshi and Kai?” Joshua asked.

“They’re the jewels of Rendezvous. You’ll see. Almost came just by watching Kai humped the floor with his blue rhinestoned underwear. I could already feel his dick slide in my—“

“Okay, too much information, Gyu!” Joshua yelled as he tried to stop Mingyu from oversharing, making Jihoon laugh as he took a sip of his whiskey. Mingyu never changed. He was still as talkative as ever, and had no brakes on his mouth. He laughed even more when Mingyu almost dropped the glass he was holding. Still clumsy, Jihoon thought.

“Hyung, you’re such a prude. Maybe you can find the man who’ll actually break your barriers here.” Mingyu chastised Joshua. Joshua who was the kindest and gentlest member of their little group of friends, was a virgin. Virgin mouth and virgin ass. Joshua blushed at the implication of Mingyu’s words. Jihoon never understood how Joshua, being one of the older members of their group, could live a life without sex.

“My life, my choice, Gyu.” Joshua snapped.

“Okay, stop fighting and tell me more about the upper floors.” Jihoon said.

“Well, second floor is another bar but only for opal members and up. It’s a no hold bars bar. Lap dance is done on the table itself.” Mingyu explained.

“That’s still pretty mild.” Jihoon said.

“I’m not yet done. In the second floor, you can whip your dick out there and no one will care. A friend of yours can blow you in the middle of the room and noone would care. No sex with the servers though unless it’s with another member then you’re free to hump each other in the view of everyone. Blowjobs and hand jobs are normal in the second floor. Services of the regular dancers can also be availed..” Mingyu explained as he finished his beer and laughed at the red faces of his friends.

“The third floor houses the private rooms. It’s available for emerald members and up. That’s you guys. You can avail the services of the star dancers or popularly known collectively as the 7 stars. They’re more expensive but totally worth it. The floor also has rooms for those who likes being spanked or humiliated, a room for bottoms, for tops, a room for viewing, they even have a room of desserts.” Mingyu said laughing harder when Joshua suddenly choked on his mimosa.

“Desserts?”

“Yeah, spread hot chocolate all over your body and let your other party lick it.” Mingyu said as a matter of factly while Joshua’s face was already so red. “Oh hyung, you like that?”

“Shut up.” Joshua said an averted his eyes towards the front where their younger friends were enjoying the show.

“Anyways, they have private rooms there where you can bring your partner. The viewing room is for those who wants other to watch them, the one that I told you guys earlier.”

“What’s on the 4th floor then?”

“Oh, it’s strictly for diamond members. I can bring you there if you want.” Mingyu offered.

“What exactly is there?” Jihoon asked totally curious as what morethe club has the offer.

“Well, the dancers are untouchable for everyone right? But if you’re a diamond member, you take a pick of any of the dancers for private dances, lap dances, and everything else that you want.” Mingyu explained.

“Even Hoshi and Kai?” Joshua asked as he took a cherry from the glass crystal.

“Of course not. They’re only available for a few select members and that’s only for privates dances. For other services, you need to pay extra and well, it’ll really depend whether they accept them or not.”

“So, if I want to lose my virginity to Kai I have to pay thousands of dollars for membership?” Joshua asked making Jihoon laugh. He could see that the alcohol was already starting the affect their timid hyung.

“Try a million dollars.” Mingyu said.

“What?” Jihoon asked.

“The membership fee is a million dollars and it’s still up to Hoshi and Kai if they’ll accept the invitation. The only offers they can’t reject are private dances and lap dances.”

“Private dances?” Jihoon asked.

“Yeah, your choice of place and time. But they have a private channel strictly for those with such membership.”

“A channel?”

“Yeah, like a private channel where you can watch Hoshi and Kai put on a private show.”

“Dancing?” Joshua asked.

“No my beloved innocent hyung. I’ll show you one time. I’m a blue diamond member.” Mingyu said as he tried to brush Joshua’s hair but the latter swatted his hands away.

“What the fuck Kim Mingyu? You’re horny as hell to pay such amount for a few seconds of videos—“ Joshua said but Mingyu interrupted him.

“And calls. Hyung, I don’t want to be arrogant and all but I’m one of the few people who had the pleasure of Kai’s company. Damn his mouth feels amazing.” Mingyu said and squirmed on his seat. Joshua flicked his forehead when he realized what Mingyu was doing.

“Oh.” Joshua clearly no longer having the energy to stop Mingyu’s mouth.

Jihoon was about to ask another questions when the lights dimmed and turned into blue. Bellows of ice cold smoke engulf the stage. Jihoon could feel the the temperature of the club dropped lower, making him shiver a bit from the cold. He watched as the audience anticipate who brought the cold into night.

**Seungcheol / Jeonghan**

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**Seungcheol / Jeonghan Twitter Posts (** **Private)** ****

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**Seungkwan / Jeonghan / Joshua Twitter Post (Private)**

****

**Seokmin Twitter Post**

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**Jihoon / Jeonghan / Seungcheol (Private)**

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**Seungkwan Twitter Post (Private)**

**  
**

**Jihoon's Twitter Post (Private)**

****

**JIHOON**

Jihoon was getting bored when the lights suddenly changed form different colors, to just red. Smoke started bellowing on stage and even on the floor creating an aura of mystery and blood red darkness. The club started getting warmer and bellows of fire were lit along the aisle of the stage. The next dance must be the second jewel, stage name Fire, and codename Hoshi. It was a complete opposite of Kai’s set which.

Jihoon’s heart stopped when the music started playing revealing a fully clothed Hoshi in the middle of the stage engulfed in bellows of smoke. He was wearing a red silk polo shirt with a plunging neckline over a see through turtleneck with the sleeves fringed at the edge. He completed the look with black loose fitting slacks. He had his hair swept to the side exposing his forehead and red lace mask covering the upper half of his face, leaving his blood red lips exposed.

His heart was beating so hard, not just from the appearance of the overly sexy Hoshi, but from the fact that everything about the dancer on stage reminded him of someone. Someone who was long gone from his life. The way the dancer stood, his hands, his forehead, his red lips, and most especially the eyes.

 _It’s not him,_ Jihoon told himself again.

He watched as the dancer started swaying to the beat, ever so slowly, hands travelling all over his body, caressing softly. Everyone in the club danced skimpily dressed, but Hoshi was no doubt still the sexiest even though he was still covered from head to toe. He swayed his hips to the music as he slowly moved toward the other side of the stage.

Jihoon was already sweating when unbuttoned his polo revealing a see through undershirt that outlined his softly formes abs. Unlike Kai who had hard rock abs, Hoshi’s abs was looks delicate and soft but lean. It was perfect. Jihoon unconsciously licked his lips as Hoshi’s abs rippled through every moved.

He could feel the heat starting to form in his abdomen as he felt the first sign of his manhood reacting to the sensual dancer on stage.

Jihoon waited for Hoshi to reveal more of himself but he didn’t. Instead he emphasized his clothe body parts through the movements of his dance. Positions that outlines his perfectly sized manhood. Jihoon almost had an heart attack at the realization, that undearneath the pants, Hoshi was completely bare and every move of his hips Jihoon could see the outline of manhood and his ass.

Jihoon wiped his forehead. He could feel him self sweating all over his suit. He could feel his hardness straining his pants. Without taking his eyes off Hoshi, he took off his jacket. When the light changed, Jihoon quietly whimpered as he felt himself leaked precum, damping his underwear. The change of light caused Hoshi’s pants to turn a little bit transparent revealing his shaft in all his glory. He watched as Hoshi turned his back around before going on all fours. He treated the audience to the view of his ass as he humped the floor. He then rolled over and thrust his hips upward while the rest his body was still on the floor. He then knelt with knees apart slightly.

Jihoon could feel his precum leaking all over his manhood. He was so hard he thought he was going to explode. He kept himself from moving, afraid that the tiniest brush of his underwear on his manhood would could him reeling over the edge. He felt like he could cum just by watching Hoshi who had his knees on the floor, hand in between his legs as he movedhis hips up and down an imaginary person below him.

Jihoon licked his lips as he saw Soonyoung manhood dip near and away from the floor every time he moved his knees sideways. He imagined himself underneath Hoshi, his dick inside him, pressing his insides in all the right places. He almost came right then and there when the lights suddenly turned off. When the lights went back on again, Hoshi was gone.

Jihoon took a deep breath as his heart flamed with overwhelming desire. There was only one person who had the ability to wake such beastly desire in him, but he’s gone. He thought about Hoshi, and the way he seemed to moved with one goal in mind; to drive Jihoon insane. He just found his poisoned apple and he wanted to take a bite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RANTS:
> 
> TW @soonhaee OR https://curiouscat.me/soonhaee


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW : Explicit Content and Language

**Jeonghan / Seungcheol**

****

**SEUNGCHEOL**

Seungcheol looked at Jihoon whose eyes never strayed away from the stage where the dancer called Hoshi was doing his set. Seungcheol recognized the intensity behind Jihoon’s eyes. It was like a spell was cast on Jihoon. A spell that will definitely bring chaos to Jihoon’s already peaceful life and from the looks of it, Jihoon was falling, and Seungcheol knew why.

He was startled when Jihoon suddenly stood up.

“Yah, Ji, where are you going?” Jeonghan asked.

“I’ll be right back.” Jihoon said as he staggered to the end of the hall where the elevators were. Seungcheol was surprised when Jihoon took the elevator to the third floor.

“I better go—“ Seungcheol said as he tried to stand up but Jeonghan kept him in place.

“No, let him be for a moment Cheol. I think he just needs to take care of his friend down there.” Jeonghan said.

“Oh.”

**Groupchat**

v

**Mingyu (Private)**

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**JIHOON**

**  
  
**Jihoon found himself in one of the rooms at the third floor. He hurriedly grabbed lube and a box of tissue on the drawer and pulled his pants down. His underwear already had a patch of wetness from the precum he leaked when Hoshi slid his knees repeatedly on stage and humped the floor. He sat at the edge of the bed facing the huge walled mirror or so he thought. The room was immaculately made, with black interiors and huge king size bed which was weirdly covered in leather instead of the usual beddings. One thing he noticed with the room was that it was surrounded by mirrors. He could see himself in all angles. He also could also how hard and aching his dick was already.  
  
He poured just little bit of lube on his hand before making a ring with his finger which he then used to stroke himself. He trembled in relief as the pressure on his cock was satiated at the first contact.   
  
“Aahhh... shit...” He moaned as he tried to remember how Hoshi looked with his see through shirt and pants.   
  
He made a fist with his hand and wrapped his hands around his cock, gradually increasing the pressure as he continued stroking himself totally unaware that a lone person with a red mask was watching him through the windows that Jihoon thought were mirrors.   
  
He the used his other hand to gently massage his neglected balls, giving them soft squeezes every now and then. He continued stroking his manhood up and down thinking about how it would feel if it was Hoshi’s mouth instead that was wrapped around his shaft. He imagined Hoshi’s beautiful luscious lips stretched thin and wide as he tried to accommodate Jihoon’s cock entirely in his mouth. He thumbed the slit of his manhood and imagined that it was the tip of Hoshi’s tongue instead. He moved his hand over to the head of his cock and increased the pressure when he felt his orgasm near. The thought of Hoshi choking was what drove him over the edge.  
  
“Ahhh.. hoshi...” Jihoon moaned as he continued to stroke himself through his orgasm. He was panting and shivering as he came when his eyes met with a person outside the window wearing a red mask. He continued staring at him before moving his eyes towards Jihoon’s dick which he was still slightly stroking as he brings himself to the end of his climax. The stranger licked his lips when he saw Jihoon continued to release his load on his hand. The red masked stranger smirked at him before slowly walking away.   
  
It was only then that Jihoon realized that the glass wall wasn’t a mirror, it was a transparent one. He must be in one of the rooms for viewing, he thought. He panicked a little bit was relieved that there seems to be no other person in the audience, except for the red masked man who was already long gone.   
  
Shit. That felt good. Jihoon thought as he tried his best to fix himself up despite already feeling groggy from over drinking. He just wanted to lie down and sleep. His thoughts brought him back to Hoshi.  
  
It’s not him. Jihoon told himself for the hundredth time that night. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe it was him. All the feelings that he thought were long gone were rushing back to the surface, all because of a dancer who resembled a little bit like his lost love.   
  
He curse fate for all those years of trying to find the boy and never giving him even the tiniest of clues; and now he’s suddenly back just when he’s starting to get his heart back together. He needed to know for sure if it’s Soonyoung. He needed to ask him why he left. He needed to make him feel even half the pain he felt when he walked out on him without even saying good bye. He stood up and found himself walking away, out to the club, not being able to bear being in close proximity of someone who reminded him of Soonyoung; no longer able to bear even just a breath of a memory.

**Groupchat**

**Jihoon Twitter Post (Private)**

****

**Groupchat**

**Maknae Line GC**

****

**SEUNGCHEOL**

Seungcheol was anxiously waiting in Jihoon’s apartment for the past fifteen minutes. He was pacing in the living room when the door bell rang. He hurried to open the door and found Joshua already sweating and exhausted from dragging Jihoon all the way from the cab. He hurriedly took Jihoon from Joshua and carried the younger boy into his apartment. Henoticed that Jihoon still had the pack of instant rice and kimchi, being held by Jihoon’s hand tightly. Seungcheol’s heart ached just looking at the rice and kimchi. He knew what they were for, he also knew that despite Jihoon’s exterior, he was still holding on to that piece from the past that he never find the answers to.

“He wouldn’t let it go.” Joshua explained when he noticed Seungcheol looking at what’s on Jihoon’s hands. Seungcheol’s brows furrowed in worry as he laid Jihoon on his bed. Seungcheol took away the instant rice and kimchi which Jihoon in his sleep immediately relinquished. He slowly removed the younger boy’s shoes before removing his coat, shirt and pants, leaving Jihoon on just his boxers. Joshua grabbed the comforter and covered the younger boy who already snoring softly.

“Will he be alright?” Joshua asked. He could already feel the dizziness that temporarily went away when he needed to take care of Jihoon.

“Yeah, don’t worry. He’ll probably sleep through the night. We should go.” Seungcheol said who grabbed Joshua when the latter almost bumped on the dresser on the way out. He noticed Joshua flinched when he slightly put his hand on his back as he guided him out the door. It was only then that he realized that Joshua was still drunk, but pushed through his drunkenness just to get Jihoon home.

“Shua, are you okay? You’re still drunk.” Seungcheol asked when he noticed that Joshua was a little bit tense and getting pale by the minute.

“Uhm.. No, I mean yes. I’m just exhausted and still a bit buzz from the alcohol.” Joshua explained trying his best to keep it all together. He was feeling dizzy by the minute and he knew he needed to lie down for a while. But he pushed through it.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.” Seungcheol said as he offered his hand towards Joshua who hesitated before taking it. Seungcheol didn’t know why Joshua was so tense, but he knew him well enough that he’s at the verge of passing out. He appreciated Joshua for hanging on to his wits as he tried to get Jihoon home safe.

He held on to Joshua’s hand as they took the elevator, he didn’t know what it is but Joshua seemed tense, so he gave his hand a squeeze. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Hmm...” Joshua answered almost at the verge of giving in to the haziness that the alcohol on his system seem to cause. Seungcheol released his hand and instead put his arms around the other boy, who immediately leaned on him. They slowly walked to Seungcheol’s car with Joshua staggering in his steps.

They drove to Joshua’s apartment in silence. Joshua stared out the window the whole time. It was freaking Seungcheol out for a little bit. It wasn’t like Joshua to be so silent, especially with him. They’ve been friends since college and even hangout most of the time when Jeonghan, who started modelingat a young age, was too busy with work. It was in college that Jeonghan’s career started to took off, often leaving Seungcheol to fend for himself and hang out with other friends, while his boyfriend spent another week in Milan or Paris.

Seungcheol noticed that Joshua was almost half asleep when they finally arrived at his apartment. So, he insisted on walking Joshua to his door since the other boy was already falling asleep on his feet.

“I’m okay, now. Really.” Joshua said as he entered the numbers to the keypad on the door. He was already on his fifth try when Seungcheol gently moved his hand away and took over.

“Shua, are you sure you’re okay?” Seungcheol asked again. It was not like Joshua to drink a lot so it deeply worried him.

“Yeah, thanks.” Joshua said as he went to the door. He immediately went to the kitchen where he took a pitcher of water and drank like his life depended on it. Joshua was startled when he felt someone gently grabbed the pitcher from behind him.

“Slow down or you’ll drown.” Seungcheol said as he took the pitcher and grabbed a glass from the the rack. Seungcheol was startled when Joshua suddenly embraced him his chin on his shoulder softly quivering. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Go home.” Joshua whispered as he released him from his embrace. Seungcheol was shocked when Joshua wiped a few errant tearsbefore staggering to his bedroom taking off his clothes one by one on the way. Seungcheol sigh and took the pitcher of water and glass to the bedroom where he placed them on the side table before grabbing a blanket from the closet and covered the half naked Joshua with it.

“Shua, there’s water by your bedside.” He sat on the bedside and worriedly look at his sleeping friend. He reached out and caressed his friend’s cheeks with his thumb before leaning over and leaving a gentle kiss on Joshua’s forehead.

“Good night.” He was about to leave when Joshua grabbed his hand.

“Please don’t go.” Joshua whispered in his sleep which Seungcheol didn’t quite hear.

“I’m sorry what?”

“I said go.” Joshua whispered.

Seungcheol nodded and just when he was about to close the bedroom door he heard Joshua say:

“Please go, before I lose myself.”


	5. Chapter 5

**SEUNGCHEOL**

Seungcheol arrived home a little past three, after tucking Jihoon in bed and making sure he stays in bed and then driving Joshua home and also tucking him in. He was in the parking lot but he couldn’t make himself move to get out of the car and go home. His mind was still on the last words that Joshua said. He didn’t quite understand but he was worried that his friend must have been going through something.

He was also worried for Jihoon. He thought everything was already okay and that Jihoon had finally let go of his obsession with his past when he announced that he was proposing to Nana.

Seungcheol knew how much pain Jihoon had went through when Soonyoung left him years ago, saying he’s going with Wonwoo. He just didn’t know that even until now Jihoon’s wounds still hasn’t healed. He was afraid that Jihoon would let himself fall into another rabbit hole for his obsession to find Soonyoung. Seungcheol was afraid of what it would do to the younger boy’s current relationship. Although the relationship started out as an arrangement between their parents, Seungcheol really thought that in time Jihoon had learned to love the girl and she made him genuinely happy. He felt guilty for not talking about it more with Jihoon, maybe if he did it would have helped Jihoon move on.

He was also neglecting his boyfriend. His beautiful boyfriend who had been nothing but patient with him every time he pushed him away when exhausted or cancelled on him for another business meeting. He knew that he hurt Jeonghan every time he starts something and Seungcheol would pushed him away from exhaustions. But there was no lie in that, he really was exhausted, enough to decline a little bit of loving from his willing angel.

It was the workload, he told himself. He knew he’d been busy with the company, and he felt guilty that somehow he pushed aside thoughts of checking up on his friends and neglecting his boyfriend for work. It was overwhelming being the CEO.

Jihoon used to help him with the decision makings, but with Jihoon’s world tour, and his plans of proposing, Seungcheol was left to drive the ship alone. Work and pressure has also been piling up especially with the huge investment on line, an investment that has yet to be determine and is dependent on how Chan’s group will do on the market.

He waited until the bubbling guilt in his stomach finally settled down before getting out of his car to walk to their apartment floor. He was removing his shoes at the entry way when he was suddenly pushed to the wall and was accosted by kisses. He felt Jeonghan’s tongue poked at his closed lips demanding entrance. He opened his mouth and felt Jeonghan’s aggressive need from the way the devoured Seungcheol’s mouth with his tongue.

“Hannie— Ahh...” Seungcheol moaned when Jeonghan palmed his privates through his slacks. He let Jeonghan continue with his ministrations despite his exhaustion when suddenly Jeonghan stopped. Seungcheol’s stomach lurched when he saw Jeonghan’s dismayed expression. He almost wanted to keel over in pain when he saw tears formed on Jeonghan’s eyes, which he quickly blinked away masking his face with as much indifference as he could muster. Seungcheol then realized why Jeonghan had stopped and why he hurt him. He didn’t get hard despite Jeonghan’s effort.

“Hannie, wait.” Seungcheol asked as he followed Jeonghan towards the study. He grabbed Jeonghan’s arms to keep himself from walking further away from him. “Please wait. I know what you’re thinking and it’s not that way. I swear.”

“It’s okay.” Jeonghan answered, but Seungcheol could clearly see how the wheels in Jeonghan’s mind was turning. He thinks he no longer wants him, but he does. He was just exhausted and overwhelmed with everything.

“Hannie,” Seungcheol said as he grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Jeonghan said giving him a half smile. Jeonghan hurriedly wrapped his arms around Seungcheol when he saw fear in his eyes. “It’s okay. We’re okay. I’m sorry about earlier. I— can we call it temporary insanity?”

“Yes, of course. I’m sorry too. I think I overreacted.” Seungcheol whispered returning the hug with as much force as he could muster. Jeonghan was the one person that he never want to let go. When Jeonghan kissed him again, he responded for a bit but Jeonghan stopped the kiss midway.

“Go to sleep. You look exhausted.” Jeonghan said, face filled with worry as he caressed Seungcheol pale face and eyes decorated with dark circles.

“Let go to sleep together. Please.” Seungcheol gripped Jeonghan’s arms. He could feel bits of fear prick his heart as Jeonghan removed his hands from his arms. Jeonghan

“I’ll be right behind you, okay? I just need to clear my head a bit.”

“Hannie, its—“ Jeonghan stopped him from further talking with a peck on his lips.

“Don’t worry about it, Cheol. Good night.” Jeonghan said and gave him a peck on the cheeks before walking away to the kitchen.

Seungcheol wanted to follow him but he knew Jeonghan needed space, so he let him be. He also had a 2-day conference the next morning so he decided to just let it be. He promised himself he’d fix it and make it up to Jeonghan in the morning or after the conference.

**JOSHUA**

Joshua was suddenly woken up by the incessant ringing of his phone. He looked around the room trying to identify where the sound was coming from. He immediately got off the bed when he realized that it was coming from the top of the dresser.

** Phonecall **

⚪️- Jeonghan

🔴- Joshua

Joshua sigh. He couldn’t stop it. The hope that seemed to be blooming in the pit of his stomach no matter how much he tried to stop. He couldn’t help the thought of finally having a chance with the man he’s been in love with for years. A man that were off limits even until today. A man that will always be for someone else.

They were in college when they first met through Jeonghan, who was his roommate and best friend at that time. He never knew his heart could beat as fast as it just did the first time he saw him. The first time he smiled at him, Joshua knew he was trapped.

He secretly crushed on his best friend’s boyfriend, but it never came to his mind to go after him. He was first and foremost loyal to his best friend.

He stopped his thoughts from going further than that. He had long accepted that he will lever have a chance and in this life and maybe even the next life, he’s not for him. Choi Seungcheol will always be for Yoon Jeonghan.

He grabbed his phone again, not believing what he was just about to do.

** Joshua / Mingyu Chat **

** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RANTS: 
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.me/soonhaee


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning   
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**Jihoon's Private Twitter**

**JIHOON**

Jihoon woke up with a massive headache. He looked around his surrounding and was relieved to find himself in his own room. He didn’t know how he got home, but he mentally thanked whoever it was who took him there. He also prepared himself for some major apologizing, especially to Seungcheol who had been stressed lately with company. The last thing he remembered before completely passing out was buying instant rice and kimchi on a convenience store near the club.

The club, he thought. He needed to sign up for the club. He needed to see Soonyoung— no, Hoshi again, Jihoon thought. Hoshi reminded him so much of Soonyoung, the curve of lips, the way he moved as he dance, the sway of his hips, and his piercing eyes behind the red mask. The way he made him feel with just the sway of hips. He’s automatically transported to Bonerville.

He hurriedly got out of bed to look for his phone which he found in the living room, almost drained out of battery. He almost cursed out loud when he saw several missed calls and text messages mostly from his friends looking for him. He didn’t mean to make them worry. He was just so out of it and was desperate to get away from the place before he loses control and turn the place upside down looking for Hoshi.

 _Hoshi is not Soonyoung. It wasn’t him._ He told himself again, but his pounding heart wouldn’t listen.

_He was the one who left you moron, why do you still react to even the slightest reminder of him. Why is it that after five years Soonyoung still haunts his life like a shadow that wouldn’t go away even if he tried?_

He browsed through his phone messages and replied to a few, especially the ones from Nana who was just checking up on him. He then proceeded to his home studio and sat in front of the piano trying to come up with a new song for his planned comeback, but he came up blank. He then found himself playing an old tune, the one he was playing the last time he saw Soonyoung, before he disappeared on him completely. He thought about that day over and over again. If there was some sort of sign that would have warned him that his boyfriend was going to run away with their best friend with no explanation whatsoever. He gave up on the piano. It was just making him sad.

**Hoshi's Webpage**

****

He grabbed his phone and found himself browsing through the Rendezvous website. He skipped the few other pages, and went directly to the dancer’s page. There were numerous regular dancers, several start dancers and the two jewels themselves. He clicked Hoshi’s name and was redirected to a page dedicated entirely for the dancer. There were just a few photos. His eyes, his abs, his inner thighs, parts of Hoshi’s body inviting the viewer to find out more. Below the pictures he found a link to Hoshi’s personal’s instagram account and his streaming site. 

He contemplated whether to send a request to follow in instagram but he needed to make a new account or maybe he can use his private one, but he knew Seungcheol would kill him. So, he went to Hoshi’s streaming site, but except for a few suggestive photos, it was also passport protected.

He then remembered the card with his code name and password, so he hurriedly looked for the coat that he used the night before and almost jumped in joy when he found it. His hands shook as he entered the code name and his password as he tried to access Soonyoung’s website. But to his disappointment his access was denied.

He gave up and decided to call Mingyu.

**Jihoon / Mingyu**

Jihoon immediately logged on to Mingyu’s account. He first visited Hoshi’s instagram account and he was overwhelmed with the content. It was filled with Hoshi’s picture in different places and setting. Some were in his bedroom, in a coffee shop, a dance studio. It was filled with pictures of his daily life. The only disappointing thing is that none of the pictures ever showed his face. There were also photos and videos of his escapades with the members.

He scrolled through his feed, and was about to close it when one picture caught his attention. It was a picture of a beaded bracelet.

* * *

** HOSHI'S INSTAGRAM PAGE/FEED  **

<https://privatter.net/p/7007845>

** *Do not read if uncomfortable with NSFW Content/Pictures **

** *Contents : Explicit Pictures (This is the reason why I couldn't post it here.) **

** *Follow at @sexysunhey (twitter) to access (Age on Bio) **

***It will not affect the flow of the story**

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

_Soonyoung skipped out of the classroom with a big smile on his face. It was his 9th birthday and his mom promised him cake. It was one of those days when going home didn’t seem as scary as it always does. It was one of those days when he was actually excited to get home. It was a rare moment for him, not dreading going home. His father was on a business trip to Japan, which means no walking on eggshells while he was on the house scared of making even the tiniest of mistake, terrified in making his father angry. It was a stress free day for him and his mom. It was extra special because it was his birthday._

_“Come on Jihoonie! Hurry up!” 9-year old Soonyoung called out to Jihoon who was still playing catch with some of their classmates, and glared at him for disturbing him._

_“You go on without me!”_

_Soonyoung pouted at his friend, who just ignored him and kept playing. Even as kids Jihoon was already the tsundere friend to the clingy Soonyoung. Soonyoung gave him one last look before taking one deep breath and started walking away. Wonwoo was beside him at once walking with him but head buried in his book, their other best friend who preferred the company of fictional characters more than real people. The only real company that Wonwoo could tolerate was surprisingly Soonyoung and Jihoon._

_They walked together quietly. When Wonwoo noticed the silence, he raised his head from his book._

_“What’s the matter?” Wonwoo asked not used to Soonyoung’s silence._

_“It’s my birthday.”_

_“I know. I already gave you my gift.” Wonwoo said and went back to his book. When Soonyoung didn’t answer, Wonwoo sigh and gave up on the book that he was reading. “What?”_

_“Jihoon didn’t walk with us.”_

_Wonwoo sigh. He knew why Jihoon didn’t walk with them. Jihoon was in a battle. He was armed with a piggy bank worth of coins preparing a very difficult battle with claw machine outside of their schoo for that beaded bracelet that Soonyoung had been trying to win since the beginning of the school year._

_Jihoon also wanted to surprise Soonyoung with the tiger cupcake that Soonyoung looks at every morning on the way to school. Wonwoo on the other hand,_ _gave their tiger obsessed friend a book about tigers, which Soonyoung said he sort of love but shove it in his backpack never to be seen again._

_“He’s your neighbor. He’ll see you later.” Wonwoo said as he pulled Soonyoung to start walking again._

_“I guess your right.” They stopped when they reached the corner where their path would separate. “Don’t you want to come with me for cake?”_

_“I have a tutor coming.”_

_“Oh right.”_

_“Happy Birthday, Soonyoung.” Wonwoo said and surprised Soonyoung when the other boy gave him a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

_Soonyoung watched as Wonwoo walked away. Wonwoo, like Jihoon was one of his best friends. But unlike Jihoon who was always grumpy when he’s clingy, Wonwoo was pretty much tolerant of him. He also made sure that Soonyoung always had his assignments done. Wonwoo said it was because he reminded him of the brother he lost when he was still a child._

_Soonyoung slowly made his way home, excited with the idea of cake even when his supposed best friend ditched him for their schoolmates. He looked around enjoying the normality of the town. It was a small town where most of the people knew each other. Most of the people live in clustered houses at the other side of the town, while he, Jihoon, and a few others, lived in a more secluded area. A private subdivision for their well off residents._

_Soonyoung’s face drained when he saw his father’s familiar black sedan. He hurriedly ran to the house and stopped when he saw his father by the stairs already staggering. That wasn’t a good sign as far as Soonyoung was concerned._

⛔️ - Domestic Abuse

_“You’re home late.” His father said smelling strongly of booze. His father staggered toward him and repeatedly jabbed Soonyoung’s forehead with two fingers. “I told you to come home directly. I’ll break you fucking legs if I catch you—“_

_“S—sir? I swear I didn’t! Please!” Soonyoung shook a little as he tried walk away from his father who grabbed his collar. His father learned about him signing up for free ballet lessons and was livid. It was his mother who took the blow for him and ever since then Soonyoung was afraid of stepping out of bounds. His mother was walking from the kitchen when his father his father suddenly slapped her making her drop the cake to the floor. “M—mom!”_

_He tried to help his mom but she pushed him away._

_“Stop Soonyoung. Go to Jihoonie’s.” His mom said as his father pulled her by the hair towards their bedroom._

_“Mom!” He tearfully watched as his father shut the door behind him and watched his ruined birthday cake all smashed up on the floor. He hurriedly ran out of the house no longer wanting to be in the same vicinity with his father. He knew his mother was being hurt at the moment and he wished he could do something about it. But his mom made him promise that he would run out the door every time it happened._

🔵

_It usually happened when his father was drunk which seemed to be becoming more frequent. He hurried next door where Jihoon’s tree house was located. He quickly went inside and hugged his knees to his chest as he tried to muffled his sobs._

_He didn’t know how long he was there hiding. He woke up with someone shaking him gently._

_“Hey.”_

_“J—ji?” Soonyoung asked when he felt that he seemed to be leaning on someone’s shoulder and a sweater was wrapped around him._

_“You fell asleep and I didn’t want to wake you.” Jihoon said. He grabbed Soonyoung’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Soonie?”_

_“I better go.” Soonyoung said but Jihoon stopped him and pulled him back beside him._

_“It’s your birthday.” Jihoon said. Jihoon knew what happened, and cursed himself for letting Soonyoung go home alone. He wished he’d been there earlier, so Soonyoung didn’t have to cry alone. But the claw machine was more difficult than anticipated._

_“Yeah, it’s not that important. My— my mom—“_

_“She’s okay. She’s with my mom right now. Here.” Jihoon said giving Soonyoung an instant rice with kimchi on top. “You need to eat.”_

_“I’m not hungry.”_

_“Okay, then drink?” Jihoon asked as he offered banana to the other boy._

_“No thanks. You should go.”_

_“Why?” Jihoon asked understanding why Soonyoung was mad._

_“N— Nothing.”_

_“Soonie, I’m sorry. I should have come home with you.” Jihoon apologized._

_“Yes, you should have.”_

_“But I needed to stay to get you this! I wanted to surprise you!” Jihoon said as he revealed a squashed orange cupcake with a tiny candle. He placed them on Soonyoung’s palm and took a match from his bag. He lit the candle and slowly sang happy birthday to Soonyoung who was already tearing up. “Aigoo, why are you crying? Blow the candle. Sorry, it’s a little squashed. It fell off while I was running home.”_

_Soonyoung just shook his head and blew the candle._

_“T— Thank you.” Soonyoung sniffed._

_“Smile a little bit, will you?”_

_“Do I have a reason to smile? It’s my birthday and mom was hurt. It’s all my fault for going to that stupid ballet.” Soonyoung cried._

_“It’s not your fault. Don’t cry.”_

_“I’m sorry Jihoonie.”_

_Jihoon took out something from his pocket and Soonyoung finally smiled despite the tears when saw what Jihoon had on his palm. It was a simple beaded yellow and black bracelet with a flower, similar to the one that he’s been trying to win in a claw machine game outside of school._

_“It was supposed to be the color of a tiger, but this was the one that I won. I’m sorry. I’ll try again tomorrow!” Jihoon promised as he put the bracelet on Soonyoung._

_“No! I love it.”_

_“I asked our classmate Jocelyn to help me with her claw machine techniques. I really wanted to get one that you like.” Jihoon then grabbed something behind him. It was a paper bag with 8 small suffed animals. “These are extras.”_

_“Wow, what are these?”_

_“The claw machine’s weird. I won those too.” Jihoon said making Soonyoung laughed._

_“Thank you Jihoonie. I’ll treasure it forever.”_

_Soonyoung smiled as he leaned over and gave Jihoon a friendly peck on the cheek, making the other boy blushed crimson._

**_End of Flashback_ **


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning   
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**NEWS**

****

**Jihoon / Seungcheol**

**JIHOON TWITTER POST (PRIVATE)**

****

**FLASHBACK**

_He passed! It was the happiest day of Jihoon’s life. The Dean of their Department, who had serious connections in the industry, asked him to audition for the second time but this time it is with the President of one of the biggest music company in the country and he liked him. After just a year in school and a few months trainings in an academy, he was officially signed as a solo artist and will soon debut as a solo act. He was elated and couldn’t wait to tell his boyfriend._

_He thought he lost his chance when he missed the first round of auditions. The school often hosts different auditions for aspiring artists, inviting different representative agencies. He and Soonyoung were chosen to represent their respective classes. The Dean said they were both a sure thing. But Soonyoung had an accident on the day of the audition. The hospital called him while he was preparing to go to the auditorium and he rushed worriedly to the other boy, who was covered in bruises and suffered a broken leg._

_When Soonyoung saw him, he begged Jihoon to leave and go back to school._

> _“Please go Jihoon. I don’t want you to miss this opportunity because of me.” Soonyoung mumbled. He couldn’t quite talk with his face being swollen._
> 
> _“I can’t leave you here like this.” Jihoon sat by Soonyoung’s bed to afraid to move. “What exactly happened?”_
> 
> _“I’ll tell you later. You have to go first. It’s our dream. Please for me.”Soonyoung begged._
> 
> _“Okay, I’ll wait until Wownoo comes.” Jihoon said buying some time. He didn’t think he could go to the audition with Soonyoung’s condition._
> 
> _“No, I’m going to be okay. Just go!”_
> 
> _“I love you. I’ll be back.” Jihoon gave Soonyoung one last kiss before he bedgrudgingly walked away._
> 
> _“I love you too.”_

_But when Jihoon arrived at the auditorium, his name was already called. He tried to asked the Dean if he could perform even if he performed last, but he declined. People like him who doesn’t stick to the schedule shouldn’t be artists, he told Jihoon. Jihoon was devastated, but it wasn’t Soonyoung’s fault. It never was._

_A month after that day, the Dean called him into his office again for a second chance. He told him that he set a date with the President of Pledis Entertainment, one of the biggest company in the kpop industry. He passed and was offered a 3-year contract._

_Jihoon couldn’t wait to tell Soonyoung. So, he searched for him all over campus to no avail. He tried calling his phone but it went straight to voicemail. He tried calling Wonwoo buy it was the same. The day that was supposed to be the happiest day of his life, turned out to be the most painful._

**HOSHI INSTAGRAM POST**

****

**A set of Instructions from Israfil (Jihoon’s codename in the club) to Hoshi**

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RANTS:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.me/soonhaee


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**JOSHUA TWITTER POST**

**Joshua / Seokmin (Chat)**

****

**Seokmin Twitter Post**

****

**Joshua/Mingyu (Chat)**

****

**SEOKMIN**

Seokmin sigh as he took a look of his hot and sizzling steak. He and Seungkwan were currently in a restaurant near Joshua’s hospital. It was a small restaurant, nothing worth mentioning, except that it near the hospital. The plan was to pretend that they were nearby and maybe coaxed Joshua into joining him. But the plan crumbled when Joshua dismissed his invitation without second thought.

“Earth to Seokmin!” Seungkwan said when he noticed that Seokmin’s attention was no longer in their conversation. “Wanna hear something interesting?”

Seungkwan asked as he took a huge bite of his salad. Seokmin felt guilty. Seungkwan took the time to accompany him to the restaurant and he was blowing him off by wallowing on Joshua’s rejection.

“Uhmm.. sure.”

“Tonight is the night.” Seungkwan declared.

“What do you mean?”

“A huge puppy told me that someone’s going to lose his innocence tonight.” Seungkwan said not bothering to look at Seokmin whose face became pale at the declaration. There was only one person who was a virgin in their group of friends, it was Joshua. Is that why he blew him off? Seokmin asked himself. He was panicking inside, not quite knowing what to do with the information that Seungkwan so graciously shared.

“Hyung?” Seungkwan asked finally noticing the distress in Seokmin’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“N—nothing.”

“You look pale.” Seungkwan pointed out.

“I—I don’t feel like eating anymore.” Seokmin said as he pushed away his plate of untouched food.

🔞

**JOSHUA**

Joshua just had to take care of an ove-rdemanding patient in his ward. He almost lost a man in surgery. He was awake for almost 48 hours. He was exhausted, tensed, and just wanted sleep. He just wanted to rest, but he knew he couldn’t sleep even if he wanted to. He had too much in his mind, like the fact that he was lonely and was in love with his best friend’s boyfriend for the longest time. His anxiety rose higher when he remembered what he the night of Jihoon’s bachelor party.

He remembered it clearly. How he hugged Seungcheol, how he smelled fresh despite of hours of being out in the club, how it felt when his body was pressed against him, how he could almost feel their the shadow of Seungcheol’s manhood against his. He almost gave in to the temptation of finally making a move on Seungcheol. But he stopped when he thought of how it would mean betraying the most important person in his life, his best friend Jeonghan.

So, he tried to forget him. He tried to fill his life with a lot of white noise and chatter, but lately wasn’t enough anymore. The thought that there was trouble in Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s world was giving him hope, a feeling that he despised so much, he’ll do anything to get rid of it.

He thanked the doorman who gave him a black paper bag. It was light and contained a black box. He slowly made his way to his apartment, anticipating a quiet night with a glass of wine and old movie until he falls asleep. Maybe he’ll even order chinese food, he remembered he hadn’t eaten the whole day.

He entered his darken apartment and was startled when an unfamiliar voice greeted him from the living room.

“Hello Hamiel. Welcome Home.”

He was about to scream and run outside when he realized what name the other person just addressed him. It was his club code name. The one that he had only used once when they went out for Jihoon’s stag party.

 _Shit._ Joshua cursed when he remembered that in the state of drunkenness and desperation, he asked Mingyu for help. He asked him for help to forget Seungcheol, not shove a total stranger into his apartment for god knows what.

“Put you mask on little dove.” The voice said breaking his thoughts. A chill ran through his body when he heard the nickname and when he realized who the man in front of him was.

 _Holy shit. It’s Kai._ Joshua thought. He cursed again when he realized how much money Mingyu must have spent just to get the man in his living room. He didn’t even know how Mingyu managed to convince Kai to come when they were supposed to be picky with the clients that they agree to meet. He was just glad that it was Kai, and not Hoshi, since Jihoon had already unofficially marked him as his.

He slowly opened the box that Mingyu gave him. Inside was a laced mask, different from the one he used in the club which was safely kept in his drawer. He slowly wrapped the mask around his face and cautiously walked to the living room. He was astonished when he saw Kai sitting in the middle of his leather couch barefoot but looking absolutely gorgeous in a white thin satin shirt and leather pants that hugs his bottom half in all the right places. He had a lace mask on him covering the upper half of his face, but the smirk on his mouth was enough for Joshua to conclude that whoever was behind the mask was gorgeous as hell.

Kai raised and curled his index finger, asking Joshua to move closer and he did. It seemed that the other boy had already full control of all his faculties. He was too mesmerized with how Kai’s satin shirt glistened in dimmed lightning, how his tan skin seemed to shine, and his how he casually wets his lips with his tongue. He stopped in shock when he saw what was laid on the coffee table in front of him. There were different sex toys and contraptions, most of which he didn’t know the names let alone its use.

“Uhmm...” Joshua blushed not knowing what to do. “I’m sorry.”  
  
Joshua was startled when Kai stood up from the couch and walked towards the trembling him. He then wrapped his arms around Joshua’s waist from behind him before gently pulling the trembling boy closer to him. Joshua’s breath hitch when he felt Kai’s hand gently pressed his abs as he pulled him closer and Kai’s half hard private poking his ass as he hugged him from behind. The hair on his nape stood up when he felt Kai brushed his nose on his neck until his lips found his ear. Joshua almost moaned from the touch alone and felt himself reacting quickly surprising himself.  
  
“Say yes.” Kai huskily whispered on his ear, his breath sending goosebumps all over Joshua’s body.  
  
“Y—yes?” Joshua asked but was already elsewhere as Kai started running his hand on Joshua’s body. He let his palm rubbed on Joshua’s crotch a few times before completely stopping and moving back to the couch, deliberately spreading his legs wide to show Joshua that he was already hard.  
  
“W—why?” Joshua asked, almost pouting from the sudden lack of contact.  
  
“Well, I needed to see how you’d react to my touch.” Kai smiled and started brushing his index finger on the outline of his cock.  
  
“And?” Joshua gulped.  
  
“Well, seeing as you’re dick is already straining you pants, we don’t need any explanation other than that don’t we?” Kai smirked as he looked at Joshua who seemed to have loss all thoughts as his eyes followed Kai’s finger.  
  
“I needed your clear consent before we can proceed.” Kai continued. “I was told you lack experience. I don’t want to do things that will make you uncomfortable. For that, you have to tell me what your limits are.”  
  
“Limits?” Joshua asked.  
  
“Limits, like do you like being tied up? Double penetration? Gauze play? Edging? Flogging? Can I fuck you with my cock and maybe a dildo at the same time? How do you feel if I fuck your mouth? Deep throat? Limits. Anything that you don’t like doing.” Kai said as if it explained everything to Joshua who didn’t have any idea about half the things that Kai said.  
  
Joshua took a moment to think about it. He never had sex before, not because he never wanted to. He was just too busy to go on dates which seemed to be a great requirement for his libido to turn on. He didn’t know what it is about casual sex that didn’t turn him on. It must be the fear. He feared judgment, not that any of his friends will judge him. He feared himself. His only experience was with his own hand, in the corners of his own room. His hand meaning jerking off to a simple video he found on the internet. As with ass play, he was too afraid to buy the necessary items needed for such things. But most importantly, there has only been one person that he really wanted to have sex with, and he was already taken. But looking at the man in front of him, and the outline of his cock straining his leather pants, Joshua found himself wanting to spread his leg for Kai.  
  
“I’M HORNY.” Joshua declared his eyes widening when he realized what he just said and clamped his hand on his mouth, making Kai laugh. He didn’t know what’s gotten into him but he could feel it, the need to be touched and maybe even fucked, the need for release.  
  
“Well, come on then little dove.” Kai said as he gestured to the array of sex toys on the table. “I’ll let you choose three. Anything you want, don’t worry I’ll take this and this since it’s your first time.” Kai said as he took a small pink vibrator and a small dildo.  
  
“It’s to stretch you out. I’m assuming you’d like to be fucked?” Kai asked when he noticed Joshua giving him a questioning look. “Oh, if you want to fuck me instead, we can do away—“  
  
“No.” Joshua interrupted. He mentally slapped himself for being monosyllabic. The man in front of him is making him a dumb horny mess. He took a deep breath before reaching out for the items that he thought looked familiar and colorful. He had no idea what he was doing. When he was finally done, Kai reached out for him and made him sit on his lap side ways. Kai then placed one arm around his waist as his other hand stroked Joshua’s thigh with thumb.  
  
“Hmm.. I’m sorry dove. When the file said lack experience, I didn’t realized how much inexperience you were.” Kai said as he rubbed his hands up and down Joshua’s back, which made Joshua even more tensed. “You need to relax.”  
  
“H—how did you?”  
  
“Well, you just picked out different designs of anal beads. They basically do the same thing.” Kai sad still rubbing his back. “They’re called anal beads. It’s supposed to stimulate your hole as you move it in and out of your body.”  
  
“Oh, I— I liked the color.” Joshua blushed when he realized what he just said making Kai shake in laughter.  
  
“You’re cute little dove. Tell me, when they said lack of experience, does it mean total lack of experience? Is this your first time?” Kai asked and now switched to tracing circles in Joshua’s back. Joshua, despite the topic of conversation found himself relaxing.  
  
“Well, I— I used my hands.” Joshua said and mentally died. He was a doctor who graduated at the top of his class but before Kai, he was turning dumber by the minute.  
  
“You fingered youself?” Kai asked genuinely curios.  
  
“N—no.”  
  
“Hmm.. Well the request said hard sex to forget my bestfriend’s boyfriend’s dick. So, I thought you wanted all these. But how about we stick to simple things tonight?” Kai asked.  
  
I’ma going to kill Mingyu.  
  
Joshua thought but he knew the anger wasn’t deep. He was more thankful and touched at the amount of effort that Mingyu gave just to help him out.  
  
“Uhmm...”  
  
“It’s okay. I’ll take care of you and because I scared you too much I’ll give you a freebie.” Kai explained as he grabbed a small vibrator and a bottle of lube, before standing up and pulling Joshua towards the bedroom.  
  
“Freebie?” Joshua asked feeling a lot less nervous that the array of sex toys were no longer in front of him.  
  
He then left Joshua for a while in the bedroom as he did something in the bathroom. He came back several minutes later wearing only his white poloshirt which was unbuttoned in the middle revealing his toned abs and black boxers. Joshua looked at him expectantly still waiting for an answer to his question. Kai gave him one of his lopsided smiles.  
  
“Let’s just say I’m not usually available just for anyone. A friend of yours, asked this one favor and transferred his privileges to you.” Kai explained as he slowly took Joshua’s coat. “But even then I can refuse.”  
  
“Then—“  
  
“Because of your eyes.” Kai answered as he gently removed Joshua’s polo shirt, making the boy shiver as Kai let his fingers ghostly brushed against his skin. “I agreed because of your eyes.”  
  
“You— you— this—“  
  
“Only your eyes dove. The forms only have the picture of the eyes of each member with their personalized mask on.” Kai explained as his hands travel downward. He slowly unzip Joshua’s pants and slowly pulled down his pants together with his boxers.  
  
“Hmm.. you’re ripped.” Kai said as he let his hand traced Joshua’s abs down to his navel. Joshua’s breathe hitched when Kai’s hand hover over his crotch and gently caressed it as he leaned down to leave open mouth kisses on Joshua’s neck. Joshua concentrated on forcing himself to remain standing up even though Kai is sucking out every bit of strength from his body with every kiss.  
  
“Pretty.” Kai whispered.  
  
“Hmm?” Joshua asked no longer able to form a sentence when Kai’s hand expertly stroked him.  
  
“You’re cock is pretty dove. I can’t wait to have it in my mouth.” Kai laughed when Joshua’s dick twitched at his words. “Later, I will okay? I’ll let you fuck my mouth if you want. But right now come on, you’re so tensed.”  
  
He guided Joshua to the bathroom where a newly prepared warm bubble bath was already waiting for him. There were scented candles lit and two flasks of red whine freshly opened.  
  
“This was supposed to be the aftercare. But I figured you needed this first. You seem so tense. This way you’ll get comfortable with me touching you and at the same time relax you. Is that okay?” Kai asked as he helped Joshua into the tub.  
  
Joshua averted his eyes when Kai suddenly removed his boxers, and Joshua almost regretted not grabbing the right toys. Underneath the black boxers, was lace seethrough thong that perfectly embraced Kai’s halfhard manhood. Joshua blushed when Kai noticed him watching.  
  
“I’ll wear it for you next time dove.” Kai smirked and took off the lacy underwear. He then slowly sat behind Joshua in the tub, making the warm water splash a little.

Joshua was startled when he felt hands grabbed his waist pulling him in between Kai’s legs. He could feel Kai’s dick poked at his back and it tickled. Kai then offered him a glass of wine which he took and drank in one go. “Slow down dove. I cancelled all my other appointments for you. We have all night.”  
  
  
“I’m— I’m really nervous.” Joshua said. The mask on his eyes was bothering him so he tried to removed it but Kai stopped him.  
  
“You can’t. It’s for your own protection.”  
  
“Oh, right I forgot. It’s just that I want to soak my hair a little bit.” Joshua explained.  
  
“Okay, then I’ll do it, but don’t face me until I can put you mask back on, okay?” Kai said as he slowly untie the lace masked on Joshua’s face and placed it on the side of the tub. When it was done, Kai proceeded to get the extendable shower hose and slowly dampend Joshua’s hair. He then added a bit of shampoo, and used his fingers to massage Joshua’s scalp. Kai smiled when he heard Joshua sigh in contentment.  
  
“That feels so good.” Joshua moaned.  
  
He then let his hand travel to Joshua’s shoulder and kneaded the knots out, earning him another moan. He let his hand travel toward Joshua’s cock and started stroking underneath the water. “Dove you need your mask—“  
  
But Kai couldn’t finish his sentence, because Joshua already lean in to Kai’s chest and letting his head fall on Kai’s shoulder.  
  
“Ahhhh... please...” Joshua begged.  
  
“Please what little dove?”  
  
“Don’t stop. I’m near.” Joshua said as he thrust up into Kai’s hand, splashing water all over the bathroom floor.  
  
“Aahh... Oh...” Joshua trembled and arched his back as he came, with Kai’s hand on his dick while Kai’s mouth sucked hickies on his shoulder. “That was..”  
  
Kai smiled when he felt Joshua snuggled closer to him, totally exposing his face.  
  
“You’re beautiful little dove.” Kai whispered as he leaned in closer and gave Joshua a soft kiss on the lips. He slowly rinsed out the shampoo on Joshua’s hair, and slowly helped Joshua get out of the tub. He wiped both of them dry before he guided Joshua to bed.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Joshua whispered as Kai lay beside him on the bed.  
  
“Sorry?”  
  
“I thin I broke the rules.” Joshua said referring to his exposed face.  
  
“No, it’s my fault. The rules are there to protect you. You don’t have to worry, your secret is safe with me.” Kai said as be caressed Joshua’s face with his thumb. He leaned over and gave him a soft kiss. “Okay, I definitely owe you more nights now.”  
  
“You don’t have—“  
  
“I want to and to be fair.” Kai pulled off his lace masked revealing his face. Joshua was shocked with the face behind the mask. He wasn’t conventionally handsome, but he was beautiful. There was a slight playfulness in his expression but his eyes revealed that he could be mischievous if he wants to. He was oozing charisma and sexiness. Kai pressed his index finger on Joshua’s lips. “Sealed lips little dove.”  
  
Joshua nodded.  
  
“This is supposed to be a hot night but—“  
  
“I like it. But I don’t think I have the energy to really go all out.” Joshua said, suprised at himself for feeling comfortable being spooned by a naked person he just met an hour ago. The bath, massage and the handjob totally relaxing him, and he wanted to just sleep. “But I still—“  
  
“It’s okay to sleep.”  
  
“I want more though.” Joshua admitted. He was tired but he was also achingly needy, the last orgasm wasn’t as satisfying as he wanted to. He felt like he needed something inside him, he felt empty.  
  
“Okay, let do it this way.” Kai whispered still spooning Joshua. Joshua felt Kai’s hand found itself on Joshua’s cock again stroking it tenderly until Joshua found himself being hard again. “Shh.. It’s okay. Close your eyes. I won’t be able to fuck you tonight.”  
  
“Why?” Joshua whined and blushed when realized what he just did.  
  
“Well, little dove, your hole is tight and needs stretching. I don’t think you have the energy for that. So, for now let me pleasure you with my mouth. I’ll promise to fuck you soon enough.” Kai continued caressing his hair, and humming an uknown tune. He then moved and made Joshua lie down on the bed, spreading Joshua wide with both hands.  
  
“This will be my first—Aahhhh....” Joshua moaned as he felt the first soft touch of Kai’s lips on his manhood. He felt himself trying to close his legs, not quite knowing how to react to the pleasure that Kai’s mouth seem to bring. Kai, on the other hand, pressed his thighs even lower as he moved to engulf more of Joshua’s cock in his mouth. “K—kai..”  
  
He felt Kai roll his tongue before he let go of Joshua’s cock to traced his tongue alongside his cock, tracing a vein from tip until he reach the other end, giving attention to Joshua’s sac.  
  
“Ahh..” Joshua toes were curling in pleasure as he felt Kai now moved his tongue upwards before taking him entirely again until Joshua felt his cock hit the back of Kai’s throat. He grabbed on the headbord as Kai bobbed his head up and down, picking up speed and pressure as he felt Joshua near his culmination. One strong suck cause Joshua to shiver through his orgasm releasing all of his load on Kai’s mouth. He was still panting when he felt Kai crawl on top of him, leaning in to give Joshua a kiss as he humped his hardness against Joshua’s crotch. He continued kissing him until Joshua felt his stomach dampened when Kai release his load all over him.  
  
“Oh.. Wow.. I..”  
  
Kai smiled before he ran to the bathroom and came back with a towel soaked in warm water in hand. Joshua sigh as he felt Kai clean him up, before going lying in bed and spooning him. Kai kept running his finger through Joshua’s humming a soft tune, until Joshua could no longer resist and succumed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

🔞  
  


**JEONGHAN SERIES OF MESSAGES TO SEUNGCHEOL**

<https://privatter.net/p/7016360>

** *Do not read if uncomfortable with NSFW Content/Pictures **

** *Contents : Explicit Pictures (This is the reason why I couldn't post it here.) **

** *Follow at @sexysunhey (twitter) to access (Age on Bio) **

***It will not affect the flow of the story**

**JEONGHAN**  
  
Jeonghan could feel the butt plug graze his prostate making him shiver for a bit before continuing his ministrations.  
  
Jeonghan started the night by sending a very provocative picture of him in the tub, then a picture of him with a tail to Seungcheol which escalated quickly, when Seungcheol didn’t reply, to making a video with him on all fours, jerking off on the floor.  
  
When his boyfriend got home, he served him dinner with the tail still wagging behind him. He could feel Seungcheol followed him with his gaze that it ended with him being pulled away to their bedroom. Seungcheol took off all his clothes and lie down on their huge bed that faced a full length mirror.  
  
Jeonghan started by doing a little strip tease, which he had to stop because Seungcheol was already complaining that he was taking a lot of time with the foreplay. So, took everything off in one go, revealing a butt plug stuck to his ass with the tail. He then straddled Seungcheol and grinded their erections together.  
  
“Suck my dick, babe and don’t forget to waggle that tail while you’re at it.” Seungeol ordered to which Jeonghan complied.  
  
Seungcheol always loved his mouth and would prefer fucking it more than his ass. He worked on Seungcheol’s dick, slowly licking and sucking, trying to build up the feeling and earning him gasps and moans at all the right moments until he felt Seungcheol grew quiet.

The moans were suddenly replaced with soft snores.

Jeonghan immediately moved from being crouched down and gasp when found Seungcheol already sleeping. He fell asleep with his dick on Jeonghan's mouth.

Jeonghan quietly stood up and grabbed his robe before locking himself in his study where he spent the rest of the night forcing himself not to cry. He had a shoot that morning and he needed his face to be perfect. He tried breathing in and out to relax himself until he fell asleep to the sound of his own breathing.

He woke up earl in the morning, took a quick shower and immediately left the house. He could already imagine Seungcheol's anger when he realizes how Jeonghan took his revenge. Jeonghan smiled. He decided not to take it personally but he knew deep down it affected him deeper than he let on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

🔞

**JIHOON TWITTER POST**

**LINK TO THE SONG FOR SOONYOUNG'S DANCE**

**(Sweat by Zayn)**

<https://open.spotify.com/track/6ZHRi0QxzSnlevyhyNkj4a?si=Vs5yyA67RTqla6pu_BLuhw>

**J** **IHOON**

Jihoon's apartment was an epitome of luxury but with minimal decorations. Everything in his apartment were black, even the huge and expensive Sunpan Modern Bugatti Grain Leather Sofa. The living room had a huge floor to ceiling windows with black window panes, giving way to one marvelous view of the city. Aside from the sofa, there was nothing else in the place except for a black grand piano and a mini bar.

Jihoon watched as the longer hand of the clock moves. It was already a little past 9 and his nervousness grew as he watched the clock moved to 9:30. The time he instructed Hoshi to come by.

Every light of the luxurious apartment were dimmed to the darkest level except for the on in the middle of the living room where he set as a makeshift stage. He stayed in the darker side of the room, with his mask already on, waiting for his visitor. He wore a simple black shirt and black sweat pants. He didn't find a need to change since the dancer was not going to see him anyways. He also didn't want to soil any of his good pants just in case he accidentally cums in his pants, which was a huge possibility seeing as he was already half hard before the actual show. 

He wondered if he could stroke himself as he watch, but talked himself out of it. He didn't invite the dancer for pleasure. He only had on goal in mind, he told himself. But it was proving difficult as he remembered how Hoshi let his fingertips trail over his body as he danced, how he seemed to moan silently during his dance. For Jihoon, Hoshi was the perfect embodiment of what sex would be if it was a person. 

He mentally slapped himself. He was there to check if Hoshi is Soonyoung; and even if he could indulge himself a little, the club has a strict no touching policy. He could if he wanted to apply for membership, but even that wasn't a guaranty a night with Hoshi. It was the dancer's choice. According to Mingyu, Hoshi was picky and rarely grants requests.

Mingyu also talked him out of the membership and let him use his first, with Rowoon's consent. Mingyu assured him that after that night, there was no way he'll be back for more since his only purpose was to determine Hoshi's identity. Mingyu was convinced that Hoshi is not Soonyoung, so no need to waste money for a membership that he won't even use after that night. 

He poured himself whiskey, something that he never did before. The alcohol in his apartment were only meant for aesthetic and guests. But that night, he found out that it helped with the nerves. He generously took a sip and was startled when somebody hesitantly opened the door and quietly slipped inside. There was no use for talking. Jihoon knew who it was. Hoshi also knew what to do as a set of instructions had already been forwarded to him beforehand. 

Jihoon watched as Hoshi placed his bag by the door. He fixed his face for a bit before walking towards the speaker that Jihoon prepared beforehand. He expertly connected his phone to the speaker before taking off his coat. Jihoon’s breath hitch as Hoshi pulled a chair from the kitchen and walked to the center of the room revealing his choice of outfit for the night. He was wearing a black silk robe with black trimmings and embroidery wrapped around his body with a red mask covering his face. Jihoon gulped just thinking about what’s underneath the robe. 

Jihoon watched as Hoshi went to the speaker that Jihoon prepared beforehand and connected his phone. He was asked by the club if he had any preference in song, and he told him Hoshi can dance to his choice of song. He watched as Hoshi sat on the chair in the middle of the room.

Jihoon’s breath hitched at Hoshi’s choice of song. There was no way he was going to be able to concentrate on Hoshi’s face when he listened to the fist notes of the song. Hoshi had his arms crossed against his chest as he swayed sideways to the first beat of the song. He traced caressed his body with his fingertips, eyes looking seductively at the darkness and mouth slightly opened. He slowly moved his hands downwards until he reached his crotch and teasingly grazed his hand over it before spreading his legs open. Jihoon was already hard, and Hoshi haven’t even removed his clothes yet.

There’s only thing on Jihoon’s mind. He was overwhelmed with the desire to walk towards the dancer in the middle of his living room and devour him. All thoughts of Soonyoung disappeared when the first few notes of the song started, and Hoshi slowly traced his chest over the black robe with his fingertips. He moved his hands downward until he reached his desired location and let his hand grazed over his crotch but quickly moved both of his hand to his knees. He slowly used both hands to spread his thighs open, revealing his thin pants underneath the robes which perfectly outlined his crotch. He rolled his head as he repeated the motion twice before pulling the robe open, revealing his perfectly sculpted abs. Jihoon licked his lips as he saw sweat pouring down Hoshi’s body. His abs weren’t hard rock, but softly sculpted which rippled in each roll of his hips.

Hoshi slowly turned his back against Jihoon. The dancer teased Jihoon as he slowly pulled his pants down, bowing a little, which caused his robe to hitch upward revealing his white creamy ass perfectly covered by a black laced underwear. Jihoon’s gulped when Hoshi again faced him, he was half naked and his crotch was covered with lacy underwear revealing his perfectly curved shaft, the tip shimmering with a bit of precum. He sat himself over the chair and continued to sway to the music but one hand was already over his lacy underwear, stroking himself. He perfectly ended the song by shivering as he came and staining his black underwear with cum. When he was done, he naughtily smiled at the darkness, knowing full well the Jihoon was watching. He stood up and removed his lacy underwear which he then let fall to the floor before turning away, closing his robe, and grabbing his things. He gave one last smile to the darkness before walking out of the room leaving Jihoon with his cum soaked underwear. 

**Jihoon / Nana Conversation**

****

** JIHOON **

When Nana opened the door, he was suddenly accosted by her fiancé who pushed her to the door and sloppily kissed her. She was about to return the kiss but Jihoon stopped and pushed her to kneel before him. She was surprised that her fiancé was already hard as a rock and was already dripping in precum.   
  
She opened her mouth when she felt Jihoon’s cock poked at her mouth, and was shocked when he harshly thrust inside her without any warning. She choked for a bit but quickly adjusted to Jihoon’s thrust as she relaxed her jaw to accommodate her fiancés size.   
  
She felt Jihoon grabbed her hair and pulled her face towards his crotch at the same time that he slammed into her mouth. Jihoon then pressed his entire cock into her mouth and into her throat, rolling his hips, keeping her in place while his face was buried into something black.   
  
She tried to move but she was trapped between Jihoon and the door. She struggled to push Jihoon away and panicked when she was almost out of breath and was being suffocated by Jihoon’s dick in her mouth.   
  
Just when she was about to pass out, Jihoon released her, giving her time to breathe for a second before her mouth was suddenly accosted by Jihoon’s cock. She could feel the head of Jihoon’s dick roughly hit her throat and dragged on the inside of her cheeks. Jihoon roughly fucked into her mouth until he spasmed and came all over her face.   
  
She saw him put something inside of his shirt and tucking his cock back to his pants before he pulled her towards the kitchen and pushed her on the table.   
  
He ripped her skirt off her followed by her silk underwear. His face was filled with concentration as he spread her legs wide and buried three finger into her hole while his thumb harshly rubbed her clitoris. She was thrashing from Jihoon’s harshness but he kept her in place with his elbows.   
  
She never felt her orgasm build up as quickly as it did as Jihoon kept hitting her G-spot with his fingers on one hand and harshly and rubbed his clit faster and faster until she was quivering as she came hard, shocking both of them when she quirted her juice all over the kitchen table. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**SEUNGCHEOL POST**

**Seungcheol to Jeonghan**

**Jeonghan/ Joshua**

****

**JEONGHAN**

Jeonghan didn't know why he did it. He woke up in the middle of the night pissed when Seungcheol didn't even wake up to realize his mistake. When he want back to their room, he found his boyfriend still in the same position that he left him. The next thing he knew, he found himself rummaging through his vanity, found the temporary tattoo marker, and started doodling on Seungcheol's face. When he was satisfied with his work, he left their room and went back to their study.

He found himself scared. Every time Seungcheol comes home late, or go straight to bed without so much of a hello, it scared him. They haven't had sex in 3 months. That night's purpose was to make sure that Seungcheol was still attracted to him, and the outcome was devastating. He couldn't take it anymore. Overtime he'd try to talk to Seungcheol, the latter would just deny it, claiming he was exhausted with too much responsibilities on his plate.

There's nothing he wouldn't do for the love of his life, even swallow his bruised pride. There's nothing that he wouldn't do and endure for Seungcheol. He just wants him to be happy, even if he had to let him go.

**Jeonghan / Seungcheol**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**JEONGHAN**

Jeonghan’s finger hovered on the send button. One press and it would probably end his relationship with Seungcheol. He stared at the message for several minutes before deciding to change it. He couldn’t do it, especially when he feels that he’s only doing it to get Seungcheol’s attention. He shouldn’t use break ups as leverage to make someone do something for you. Besides, this was Seungcheol and he couldn’t just let go of him without fighting for him with his might. 

They’ve been together for ten years. They got together during the first year of college and stuck to each other until now. He missed the simpler times, when Seungcheol would shower him with affection, or times when he’s the center of Seungcheol’s world making sure he eats well, sleeps well, or just about anything that he could do for Jeonghan. He missed the times when Seungcheol couldn’t get his hands off him and would grab him anywhere they were to kiss him and just hold him close. He missed the sex. It’s been three months since they had sex, not all that Seungcheol has time for was a simple hand job while they shower and sometimes Jeonghan would indulge him for a blowjob. He missed Seungcheol. He just wanted his man back. 

He clenched his fist and decided to apologize and maybe even goad him for some alone time. It was their anniversary that weekend and Jeonghan thought they could use the time to just be there for each other; time to remind themselves of just how much they love each other. 

**Jeonghan / Seungcheol**

****

Jeonghan waited for a response that he knew won’t be coming. He clenched his hand over his chest willing the first few signs the pain to disappear. He took a deep breath as his throat began to constrict and as he felt tears at the corner of his eyes. He shouldn’t cry. He was in a photoshoot. He shouldn’t mess up his make up. So, he put on a brave smile and willed himself to forget the conversation he just had with Seungcheol. When it was time to shoot, he smiled brightly at the camera, even though deep inside his heart was crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**SOONYOUNG**

Soonyoung happily lounge in his studio apartment. It was minimally decorated, just a bed by the corner, his bunch of wardrobe at the other side, a pullout couch with an old TV that the former owner left, and a mini kitchen with a small refrigerator. He only had one pot for cooking ramen and that’s about it. He also had a corner where he kept his treasured possessions; old letters from Jihoon, old pictures he couldn’t throw away, a few memorabilia from the past and few more from the present. He had all of Jihoon’s cds neatly aligned in the shelf, three versions of his light sticks, and many more. It was the only part of his life that he considered as a luxury he was willing to spend money on.

His apartment had definitely seen its years, located in the poorer side of town, but it was his and it was clean. It was the only place he could afford, since all his earnings were specifically for a debt that his father owes some loan sharks.

He could have just abandoned his father to deal with his own problems after what he went through with him, but he guessed he was a better son that he thought he was.

A year after leaving school, he chose to stay close to his university, secretly still looking after the person who left, working part time jobs,when his mother contacted him crying that some men went through the house looking for his father.So, he had no choice but to go back home. He found out later that his family had been havingmoney problems. That his father took out a loan for the house, and invested the money in another business with Wonwoo’s father that eventually failed, due to gambling. He found out that day that it was the reason why Wonwoo went with him, leaving school and Jun behind.

But that was all in the past, he was trying his best now. He told himself once he finally pays the loan, he can start again somewhere. His life doesn’t have to be grand. He knew his dreams of becoming an idol was already beyond reach, but maybe he could build a small studio, somewhere he could still dance. He was still hopeful that maybe there’s something more in life that’s meant for him, something to at least make him happy, if not then something to just look forward to everyday.

His life in the club was okay, he told himself at least he gets to dance. But sometimes, the other services that he needed to do were too much to take, especially with what he went through. Rowoon, the club owner, does not force them. But he needed the money so he accepts them, mostly just private dances and lap dances which involved a lot of unwanted groping from clients. As for the services beyond dancing, Wonwoo made sure he stopped since it wasn’t safe. But the money was good so they made a compromise, Soonyoung would only grant requests of clients that he already trusts, so far there were only two, clients who were always at the club and overthe period he developed some kind of friendship with.

Rowoon tried to talk to him into accepting more clients but he explained the situation and what happened to him which thankfully he understood. Soonyoung tried to make it up to Rowoon by making sure his live streams were good and his dances were seductive enough to entice people to come to the club, and they were.

**Wonwoo/Soonyoung**

**  
  
**

**FLASHBACK**

**SOONYOUNG**

_Soonyoung looked around the concert venue. All the seats were already filled and most of the people were wearing Woozi’s color. He could feel the hum of excitement in the crowd as they excitedly waved their lightsticks as they wait for the concert to start. The place was filled with huge photos of Woozi, his Jihoonie before he left him for reasons that he didn’t even want to think about._

_It seemed that ever since that day, everything in his life started spiraling out. He lost his dream. He found out that his father’s business was gone. They lost their house. He found out about the loan which he needed to pay to keep his family safe. Wonwoo confessing to having known it. Wonwoo almost dying from overworking, trying to come up with the money that Soonyoung’s father owed and his very own father gambled away. It was the main reason he insisted on going with Soonyoung when he left. He couldn’t let his best friend face that enormous problem alone, even if he had to leave. Wonwoo explained that he didn’t have any reason to stay, Jun broke up with him when his career started taking off. Besides, it was his father who caused all of this._

_But looking around the venue and how Jihoon seemed to have achieved his dream, everything that Soonyoung had to give up and did, was all worth it. He was happy for Jihoon. He was happy despite of the sacrifice that he needed to do. It was something he tried to forget and try not to think about. So, the events visits him in his dreams. He shook his head willing to think of something else._

_Soonyoung’s reverie was interrupted when the crowd started cheering, as a beautiful girl was led to the front seat by none other than the CEO himself. His stomach did a noise dive in jealousy as he watched her smile to the crowd. Soonyoung despite the jealousy was happy for Jihoon, for moving on and for forgetting about him. He didn’t deserve him. After what happened, nobody deserve him, especially now with the current world that he was in. It seems that Jihoon just keeps getting farther and farther away from him._

_He clenched his fist on his knees when the lights went out as the love of his life appeared, still as beautiful as the first day he met him. He was wearing a silk black shirt and black pants that perfectly hugs his body. He had his hair trimmed neatly and styled to perfection._

_I miss you._

_Soonyoung took a deep breath and clenched his fist at the side; it was the only thing he could do not to run to Jihoon._

_He was close to tears when Jihoon started singing. It was a hype song and everybody was jumping while they sing along to the song, but Soonyoung was frozen in place. He watched teary eyes as Jihoon smiled to the crowd, eyes shining in happiness as if it was the best thing in the world to be on stage, performing for the crowd._

_Suddenly, Soonyoung knew the horror that he went thru that night was all worth it. He’d do it all over again if it means seeing Jihoon that happy. If it meant Jihoon’s dreams will come true._

_There was nothing that he wouldn’t do for the boy who used to shed him from the horrors of his own house. The boy who never failed to bring him kimchi and rice whenever he was holed up in the tree house. The boy who always made him smile despite of the bruises on his face. The boy who always had his shoulders ready for him to cry on._

_He clapped with the audience when the song switched into something a little less mellow. He’s been going to Jihoon’s concert for years, but it was the first time he saw Jihoon a little bit nearer, he usually buys the cheapest ticket since it was the only one he could afford. He had money to spare, so splurge it in a ticket a little bit closer to the stage._

_He enjoyed the concert, just content on seeing Jihoon again, hearing him sing and talk, looking at his smiles. He enjoyed watching Jihoon get lost in the music and immersed himself in the never-ending cheers of the crowd. It was a world he used to dream of all the time. Singing songs made by Jihoon, while the latter dances to one his choreographies. A world that they both dreamed of achieving. It was a world so different from his own._

_Jihoon’s world showers him with pure love and adoration, while his world was also filled with fans, sort of, fans who don’t hesitate to grope him if there’s a chance, fans who’ll grind on him as he gave them lap dances, fans who’s sometimes let their hands wander all over his body, fans that are driven by lust and the desire to consume and fuck him. So, different from Jihoon’s. But Soonyoung had made peace with such reality. He had learned to accept that this was his world now, and concerts such the current one were the only way he could ever see Jihoon again._

_Soonyoung was startled when Jihoon started a new song. He had all his albums, streamed everything on melon, and even watch his music videos countless of times, so he knew it was a new song. It was a love song that contained a lot of promises. Soonyoung breath hitched when Jihoon walked nearer to his girlfriend and sang with all his heart. Soonyoung suddenly dreaded the next few minutes. He stood up and held his chest with both hands, willing himself to stay whole, when Jihoon suddenly took a black velvet box from his pocket knelt._

_Soonyoung’s world stopped. He gulped back a sobbed and quickly turned his back as he felt his throat constrict and slowly walked away trying to hold himself together, keeping the threatening wave of emotion from shattering him. He was by the exit when he heard the words that made him clamped his own hand over his mouth as his body heaved in silent uncontrollable sobs. Words that he used to dream of hearing from Jihoon, but knew that in their current reality, he never will. They were words that no longer exist for him that lifetime._

_“Will you marry me?”_

**End of Flashback**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**Seungcheol / Jihoon**

**🔞**

**JEONGHAN**

Jeonghan was busy rearranging schedule for his weekend trip with Seungcheol. He was currently waiting for Joshua who promised to go with him shopping. He also wanted to check on his best friend who had been feeling bad lately for reasons that Joshua thinks he didn’t knew. He wasn’t blind. He could see it written all over Joshua’s eyes and body language. But he was his best friend, so he didn’t confront him. He didn’t need to because Joshua never once made a move for his feelings for Seungcheol and he trusted him and Seungcheol. He knew it for sure because Joshua has the purest of souls.

He was ordering his usual salad when Joshua arrived looking fresh and well rested. His polo shirt was actually ironed that day. There were still remnants of dark circled under his eyes, but the shadows of trouble were already gone and he looked bright.

“Wow, who are you and what did you do to my best friend?” Jeonghan asked as Joshua smiled at him and took a seat. He turned to the waiter to give him his order, which shocked Jeonghan. Joshua never eats, but at the moment ordered steak with rice and even a smoothie. “No, seriously, are you my Joshuji?”

“You bet I am.” Joshua answered making Jeonghan laugh. He was glad his best friend was feeling better.

“Spill.”

“What do you mean?” Joshua asked not quite sure as what Jeonghan was referring to.

“Joshuji!”

“Fine! I had the most wonderful sleep. No dreams and I didn’t even take any sleeping pills.” Joshua explained.

“Who’s the man?” Jeonghan was only teasing but was surprised when Joshua blushed. “Oh my! So, there’s a man!”

“Well, sort of.” Joshua ducked his head, too shy to look Joenghan in the eye.

“Did you fuck?!” Jeonghan yelled a little bit loudly making some of the people in the restaurant look at their direction.

“Shut up and keep your voice down!” Joshua snapped embarrassed at his friend who only laughed at his predicament.

“Oh, come on Joshuji. Spill.”

“Fine! There this person. We spent the night together.” Joshua admitted face turning red. Jeonghan was about to speak again the waiter came with their orders. Joshua pretended to focus on his steak but he could feel Jeonghan’s stares boring at him. “We didn’t do the deed okay?”

“I never said anything.” Jeonghan said laughing at the term the Joshua usedto refer to sex. His friend is too cute and innocent for this world, he hope whoever he was seeing knew that or he’ll castrate him himself and grill his dick and make him eat it.

“But you’re being _judgey_.” Joshua said and pouted making Jeonghan laughed at his innocent friend.

“Shua, this is me. I don’t think I’m in any position to judge you, love and what wrong with having a little fun? I’ll support you in whatever you want as long as it doesn’t hurt you.” Jeonghan said as he reached for Joshua’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “This man must be magic. You actually look refreshed.”

“He was surprisingly gentle.” Joshua blushed again. Jeonghan wanted to tease him more but held himself back.

“And?”

“We didn’t do it, okay? He prepared me a warm bath, and he joined me. He massaged me all over, shampooed my hair, and then made me.. you know.. with his hand.” Joshua explained. He wished he could explain it better to Jeonghan, not just the deed itself but how it felt just being touched and being cared for. Because that’s what Kai did for him, he made him feel that he was being taken care of. It was then that he realized what the real service that Kai brings to his clients, more than the sex it was the feeling of being wanted.

“And that’s it?” Jeonghan finally asked after a few moments of silence no longer able to contain his curiosity of the mystery man.

“Well, he then wiped me dry and brought me to bed.”

“Oohhhh...” Jeonghan smiled. He hope whatever Joshua had with his mystery man would last and turn into something good.

“Then he spooned me.”

“Oh... what the hell, I don’t know if your story is hard on inducing or fluff.” Jeonghan said while laughing.

“Well, he spooned me and I said I wanted more.” Joshua admitted as he blushed even more. “I wanted to— you know.”

“Oohhhh...”

“But he said that since it was my first time and I was tired, well he couldn’t uhmm—“

“Fuck you?” Jeonghan finished for Joshua.

“Yeah.” Joshua said as laughing despite his embarrassment with Jeonghan’s incredulous face. “He said it’ll take time to stretch me out, so he gave me lip service instead.”

“A blowjob you mean.” Jeonghan said bluntly.

“Y—yeah, and he sort of grinded against my— my—“

“Dick?”

“Hannie!!” Joshua said as he covered his face in embarrassment.

“And then what?” Jeonghan asked ignoring Joshua’s outburst.

“Well, he came on top of me and he went to bathroom and then cleaned me up with a warm towel.” Joshua explained and smiled at the memory.

“Then? Don’t tell me left immediately?”

“No, he spooned me again and caressed my hair as he hummed a tune until I fell asleep.”

“Ahhh... Joshuji, finally! A guy you like!” Jeonghan gushed at his best friend who immediately shook his head in dissent.

“No! No! Not like. This is purely physical.” Joshua explained.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just sex. It’s not a relationship. We both know it’s just sex.”

“Shua, I don’t think it’s—“

“I want it. I’m just in it for the sex.” Joshua declared. He knew how Jeonghan was just worried about him. But he didn’t want to fall in love, because he was already crazy in love with another man. He just needed Kai to help him forget him and tire him out enough to fall asleep. He needed Kai to fill in his need for another human’s touch, intimacy without having to commit to any relationship.

“Really? Who is this guy?” Jeonghan asked.

“I’ll tell you next time, okay?” Joshua pleaded not quite sure if he’s allowed to say something about Kai. He also wanted to keep it a secret for now, not quite sure how Jeonghan would react to the idea. Although he wasn’t quite sure if Mingyu told any of his friends, he hoped that he didn’t. Since Jeonghan didn’t seem to know, so he let himself relax.

“Of course Joshuji. I’m glad that you’re rested and found some kind of relief.” Jeonghan said.

“Me too. Cheers?” Joshua raised his wine glass to Jeonghan who smiled and did the same.

They spent the rest of the day talking some more. When Jeonghan told him about his plans with Seungcheol, his heart ache a little bit but it was less impactful. Like a numbing cream has been applied to his heart, muting the pain even for a little bit. Jeonghan bought several things for their weekend, and even bought Joshua a very revealing lingerie that he’s not sure he’ll have the courage to wear. Jeonghan also gifted him with his very first prostate stimulator, although he wasn’t quite sure if he knew how to do use it.

“Ask your friend to use it on you.”

“Uhmm.. okay.” Joshua said.

“Now tell me, how would you describe your boy toy in terms of food?”

“W—what?” Joshua asked flabbergasted at the question.

“Two words Joshuji, flavored dick!” Jeonghan yelled as he gestured to several edible lube in front of him, making Joshua laugh. “I love strawberry flavored dicks. I mean dick. Seungcheol’s dick that is.”

“Yah! You and your mouth.”

“Choose Joshuji, it’s your first blowjob if ever—“

“Shut up!” Joshua said as he grabbed a bottle each of the salted caramel, cotton candy, watermelon and mocha java.

“Oohhh mocha java... oohh lala...” Jeonghan teased earning him a smack from Joshua who was laughing depite himself.

They spent the rest of the afternoon buying for more things that they don’t need and just spending time together. When Joshua got home, he was already tapped out but happy. He decided to spend the night just lounging around with wine and maybe a movie.

** Joshua / Seokmin **

** vv **

** Joshua / Kai **

****

****

****

** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**🔞**

**JIHOON**

Jihoon had been pacing around his studio waiting for news about his membership from Seungcheol. It had been a slow day. He couldn’t concentrate let alone write a new song. He opened his phone and reread the messages between him and Hoshi. It seemed normal enough. He couldn’t quite identify any similarities in the way he texts with Soonyoung. He thought he could, bur staring at the texts he couldn’t remember anymore. 

He was about to text Seungcheol when his phone buzzed, notifying him of an email in his private account. He opened it and almost jumped up in joy. It was an email confirming his membership approval for Rendezvous. He almost cursed out lout at the amount that he had to pay for the initial membership, but it covers everything so he felt that it was good money spent. All that’s left for him is to send a medical certificate declaring that he’s clean, and then he’ll be good to go. 

He contemplated on whether to text Hoshi or not, but changed his mind the last minute. He was startled when he received not one but two messages from the Twin Jewels themselves. 

**Jihoon / Kai**

****

**Jihoon/Hoshi**

**🔞**

Jihoon didn’t reply. He was a little pissed. He couldn’t control the bubbling jealousy as he pictured Hoshi being touched my another man. He could clearly picture him as he grind another man’s crotch. He smashed his piano keys when he pictured Hoshi’s lips wrapped around another man’s dick.

 _What the fuck Lee Jihoon. You’re going crazy._ He told himself as he packed his bags and decided to just head home for the night. He called Nana on the way home for dinner. He bought her favorite food for their last night together before Nana had to fly to Paris for a couple of weeks and then head to New York for the Fashion week. When he got home, he was startled when Nana suddenly pulled him towards the bedroom and pushed him to the bed while she immediately started taking her clothes off.

“Babe, I don’t have much time. I need to be at the airport in five hours.” Nana said as she tried to unzip Jihoon’s pants.

“I bought dinner and 5 hours is more than enough.” Jihoon said and grabbed Nana’s hand. He pulled her closer to him, admiring the perfection of her face. He turned around so that Nana was below him.

“I have something to tell you.” Jihoon whispered as he brush an errant hair away from his fiancé’s face.

“Babe, talk later, fuck now please.” Nana said as she tried to move again.

“Five hours is plenty of time.” Jihoon said trying to find the courage to tell Nana what’s going on with him. He didn’t like lying to her. He knew she’d understand, or he hoped she will.

“Not for what I have in mind.”

“Well, what exactly is it that—“

“Anal.” Nana interrupted him.

“W—what?” Jihoon choked on his saliva with his fiancé’s suggestion. “Uhh.. No.”

“Babe! I’m tired of missionary. After last night, I’ve been thinking of things that I’d like to do. So, please take off your clothes like right now.” Nana said and tried to push Jihoon off her.

“Let’s slow down and have dinner first.” Jihoon said who finally release Nana from his hold. He stood up and grabbed a robe from the closet and gave it to Nana, before going out of the bedroom and to the kitchen.

Nana found her fiancé in the dining room opening a bottle of wine with all her favorite food laid out on the table.

“Come here.” Jihoon said as she pulled Nana to sit on his lap. “Baby, I know you haven’t eaten in weeks.”

“I can’t.”

“You look perfect already.” Jihoon insisted as he grabbed a piece of strawberry and offered it to Nana who refused.

“I still can’t.” Fashion week means eating as little as she can.

“I’ll tell you what. Every spoonful of food, I’ll let you do what you want to do.” Jihoon negotiated.

“Promise?”

“Promise baby. Now please eat.”

Nana finally took a bite of the strawberry in Jihoon’s hand. But he didn’t get to fulfill his promise to as she was whisked away earlier than expected to the airport just when she started mouthing Jihoon’s dick through his pants under the table.

“Babe, I need to tell you something.” Jihoon said as Nana hurriedly fix her dress.

“Babe, zip. You can tell me later.” Nana said.

“But I have to tell you, it’s about—“

“Babe, I’m so sorry. We’ll talk soon okay? I’ll call you once I land. I love you! Bye!” Nana said as she hurried out of the apartment. Jihoon was left in the middle of the night with a table filled with food, a half empty bottle of wine, and a hard on. He contemplated just doing the job himself but just thinking about it was making him go soft.

He thought about Nana and how she’ll be hurt if she finds out he’d been texting Hoshi or the fact that he’s been lusting over another person. He should have told her while he had the chance. He’s quite sure whether their arrangement and agreement is still valid now that they’re engage.

Nobody knows it, the fact that Nana knows about his leanings. He told him during the first blind date that their parents set up for them. He told him so she’ll know what to expect. She told her as long as he stays clean, she’s fine with anything. It was a pass to engage in sexual activities with others. But he was never interested. His sexual libido has taken a toll when Soonyoung left. Later on when they became an official couple, Nana told him that’s it’s still okay as long there’s no feelings involve and he remains clean. But he still couldn’t.

But now, he wasn’t quite sure how Nana would react to his extra curricular activity, especially when it involves Soonyoung. But that’s the thing, he couldn’t quite make himself care and even fear the repercussions of his actions. He only had one goal in mind, to find Soonyoung.

He moved and felt his erection brushed against his pants making him shiver for a bit.

At that moment, there’s only one person that he needs. All rational thoughts telling him to be mindful of his fiancé all went out the window, when his lower half was aching.

* * *

** JIHOON AND HOSHI'S CONVERSATION **

https://privatter.net/p/7037661

** *Do not read if uncomfortable with NSFW Content/Pictures **

** *Contents : Explicit Pictures (This is the reason why I couldn't post it here.) **

** *Follow at @sexysunhey (twitter) to access (Age on Bio) **

** *Disclaimer: I don't post any nsfw contents in my account. All NSFW related to the AU are posted thru privatter.  **

** *Posting their conversations below without the explicit pictures **

* * *

J - Jihoon / H - Hoshi

> J: I don’t want Kai.
> 
> H: Huh?
> 
> J: I think I didn’t make myself quite clear to you. I only want you.
> 
> H: Oh come on, I heard Kai is a total beast in bed. He has been doing this longer than me.
> 
> J: It’s still you I want.
> 
> H: Good. I don’t like people who double dip.
> 
> J: What does that even mean?
> 
> H: Well, Kai is like family to me.
> 
> J: What does that have to do with anything?
> 
> H: Would you fuck your brother’s ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?
> 
> J: I don’t have a brother.
> 
> H: That’s not the point.
> 
> J: I know. But are you really out with a client? He must be boring you since you’re texting me back.
> 
> H: No, I’m not with a client. I was at the club. I dance my set earlier because I’m supposed to do a live show in an hour.
> 
> J: Really?
> 
> H: Yes...
> 
> J: Can I watch?
> 
> H: If you want to.
> 
> J: I want to.
> 
> J: I have a confession to make.
> 
> H: What?
> 
> J: I’m so hard right now.
> 
> H: Oh... show me.
> 
> J: (PIC) 
> 
> H: Oh.. you’re so pretty and clean. Makes me want to get fucked by it.
> 
> J: I was hoping that’s the case.
> 
> H: You want me to walk you through it?
> 
> J: Yes please.
> 
> H: (PIC)
> 
> H: This is me at the moment.
> 
> J: Fuck you’re so hot.
> 
> H: Now, spit on your hand. Imagine it’s my hand wrapped around you, gliding through your erection slowly at first, picking up speed.
> 
> J: hoppsnmlnmasjns
> 
> H: Use your other hand, now rub the palm of your hand over the tip. are you doing it?
> 
> J: Yrs
> 
> H: I’ll take that as a yes. Now making a ring with your fingers and stroke just that head of your shaft. Imagine its my mouth, all red, slick going slobbered all over my mouth. Thrust a little. Thrust a bit more. Damn, I like your cock in my mouth. I’ll let you fuck my mouth with that beautiful dick of yours. Let you cum in my throat, let some of the juice spill to my jaw and rubbed it all over my body until I’m sticky with your cum. Harder.
> 
> J: Thnsl u
> 
> H: hmmm?
> 
> J: Thank you.
> 
> H: I wish you took a video.
> 
> J: I’ll do it next time.
> 
> H: Feeling better?
> 
> J: A whole lot better, thank you.
> 
> H: Always at your service.
> 
> J: Have you had dinner yet?
> 
> H: Hmmm.. I don’t eat when I need to do a show.
> 
> J: Why not?
> 
> H: I don’t want to look bloated.
> 
> J: Then will you eat afterwards?
> 
> H: Uhh.. sure?
> 
> J: You should eat.
> 
> H: Are you trying to get into my pants by being sweet?
> 
> J: Well, is it working?
> 
> H: Not really.
> 
> J: Then I’ll just have to try harder. But I am serious with eating dinner. Give me your address and I’ll send food over and a little something for helping me out of my predicament. 
> 
> H: That’s against the rules.
> 
> J: You know where I live. It’s only fair.
> 
> H: I can’t believe I’m doing this. (address)
> 
> J: It’ll be there in 15 minutes.
> 
> H: Okay…
> 
> (15 minutes later)
> 
> J: Is it there yet?
> 
> H: Yeah, it’s here. Thank you. I like it.
> 
> J: Really? I wasn’t quite sure what you like.
> 
> H: Vanilla Ice cream?
> 
> J: Dessert. Think of me as you lick it of the spoon.
> 
> H: Hmm... Maybe I’ll use it later. Thank you.
> 
> J: Use it?
> 
> H: It’s a surprise. Watch my live?
> 
> J: Wouldn’t miss it for the world.
> 
> H: XoXo
> 
> J: I can’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**SEOKMIN**

Seokmin nervously rang the doorbell to Joshua’s apartment. It wasn’t the first time that they did movie nights. He even slept over most of the time before, before Joshua went into this strange mood of wanting to be alone all the time. They were good friends who always hang out with each other. They have no secrets except for the fact that Seokmin liked him.

“Hey! Come on in.” Joshua said as Seokmin went inside carrying several bags of groceries. “Uhh what are those?”

“Well, since you said you’ll get pizza and chinese, I got you a few chips and—“

“That doesn’t look like a few chips.” Joshua said as he grabbed the bags from Seokmin’s hands and led him to the kitchen.

“Sorry, I went a little crazy.”

“Salad?” Joshua asked when he took several containers of salad, a few bags of fresh fruit, a few chicken breasts, and several packs of yogurts. There were also several chips and biscuits, a few bars of chocolates. “What are you trying to tell me? That I should go on a diet?”

“What?” Seokmin asked eyes wide in panic. “No! I mean I bought that because they’re healthy, not because you’re—“

“What?” Joshua interrupted him loving Seokmin’s panic.

“Nooo! You’re not, not that there’s something wrong with being heavier, but you’re not. You’re perfect hyung! I like your body!” Seokmin yelled while gesturing towards Joshua’s body making the latter laugh. Joshua raised his eyebrow at Seokmin who haven’t seem to realize what he just said. After a few seconds, Seokmin’s eyes widen again when he realized his words making Joshua laugh even harder. “I mean, not in a way like that!”

“Ahhh.. so you don’t like my body?” Joshua asked hands going to the helm of his shirt as he pulled them a little upwards revealing just a bit of skin. He watched as Seokmin gulped and wiped sweat from his forehead. So, Joshua continued and hitched his shirt even higher revealing his hard rock abs. He looked at Seokmin seductively who seemed to have frozen on the spot. When he hitched his shirt higher revealing his chesr, Seokmin bolted out of the kitchen and into one of the bathrooms. “Yah!”

Joshua laughed out loud as he followed Seokmin who lovked himself in one of the bathrooms.

“Seokmin-ah! I’m just teasing. Come on let’s watch the movie.” Joshua said. He could hear Seokmin splashing water and muttering to himself. “Seok? Are you okay?”

“I’ll be right out hyung.”

“Okay, I’ll wait for you in the living room.” Joshua called out.

“Y—yes.”

“Don’t take too long, the food will get cold.” Joshua called out from outside the door feeling a little bit guilty for teasing.

When Seokmin came out, his face was and hair were a little bit damp while his shirt was totally drenched.

“Yah! You’ll get sick.” Joshua stood up and grabbed Seokmin’s hand and pulled him towards his bedroom. He then grabbed a shirt and hoodie from his closet and gave them to Seokmin whose hands shook when he took them. “What’s wrong?”

“Seok, what’s wrong?”

“I like you.”

“What?”

“I’m embarrass.” Seokmin admitted.

“You’re embarrass because you like me?”

“No!! I like you. I’m embarrass about earlier.”

“Earlier?”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Say what?” Joshua asked.

“Hyung! Stop teasing please.”

“Seokmin-ah, you’re probably just—“

“Confused? Mistaken? I’m not. I like you.”

“How—“

“Hyung, you just gave me a hard on with all your teasings earlier that I have to lock myself inside your bathroom to calm myself down. So, please don’t try to diminish what I feelby saying I’m just confused so you don’t have to deal with it.” Seokmin said as he changed his shirt. He was a little bit irked at Joshua’s response. “I think I deserve a little better than that. I’m sorry hyung. I think I have give a rain check for that movie night.”

“Seok—“

“I’ll just messenger these clothes once I laundry them. Thanks hyung and Sorry. Bye.” Seokmin said as he hurriedly tried to walk out of the apartment. He was already by the door when he felt Joshua’s hand grabbed him.

“Stop!” Joshua yelled. “Seok, you’re not going to pin this misunderstanding on me, you asshat.”

Seokmin was about to say something again but stopped when he saw just how irritated Joshua looked.

“You sprung this on me and expect me to react in a certain way, but you didn’t even let me. You just tried to run out the door when I tried to tell you that it’s a shock to me and you’re trying to make me into an asshole who told you that your feelings are probably wrong, when I didn’t even do that! I was surprised! Give me some credit Seok.”

“Hyung—“

“What?!”

Joshua was surprised when Seokmin wrapped his arms around him and buried his face on his shoulders. He we shook a little and it was only then that Joshua noticed Seokmin was crying.

“Yah. Seokmin-ah, why are you crying?” Joshua asked as he rubbed Seokmin’s back in comfort.

“I’m sorry. You were right. I guess I was a little defensive.” Seokmin said voice muffled by Joshua’s shoulder.

“Come on, stop crying. I haven’t even rejected you yet and you’re—“ He was interrupted when Seokmin suddenly sobbed into his shoulders. “Seok, I’m teasing. Hey…”

Joshua slightly pushed Seokmin away from him and forced him to show his face. His heart clenched when he saw that the younger boy’s red rimmed eyes.

“Come on, we need to talk.” Joshua said as he pulled Seokmin to the living room. “First of all, I didn’t mean to diminish your feelings by saying that you’re just confuse. I was just surprise by the sudden confession. Second, thank you for liking me—“

“I hear a but coming.” Seokmin said.

“But we’re friends.”

“Doesn’t that make things easier?”

“Well, not necessarily. What if I hurt you? I don’t want to lose you. You’re one of the most important person in my life, my family.” Joshua asked.

“Can you at least give me a chance?”

“The risk is too great.”

“Shua hyung, I’m not saying that you have to like me back this instance. I just want a chance to show you how much I like you and I promise whatever you decide in the end, I’ll respect it. You won’t lose me as a friend over this, I swear.

“What if—“

“You won’t.” Seokmin insisted.

“So, what exactly are you saying?”

“Well, dates maybe? Let me take you out on dates. That’s all. Please.”

“I—“

“Shua hyung, I won’t force you if you don’t want to. But if there’s a tiny bit of chance that maybe you’ll like me back I have to take it right? I don’t want to keep hiding what I feel anymore. I don’t want to wake up one day and you’re already snatched up by some amazing guy because I was too scared to actually tell you how I feel. So, please give me a chance.”

“Okay.”

“Really? You’re not only saying that because I cried right?”

“Well, if you put it that way—“

“Hyuuung….” Seokmin whined.

“But seriously okay. I think I’ve been stuck in my world for too long, staring at the same person for the longest time. Maybe I’ll try to look somewhere else, look at you.” Joshua said.

“Hyung…”

“I can’t make any promises.”

“I’m not asking you to.” Seokmin said.

“I can’t be exclusive with you.”

“It’s okay.”

“Then okay. Let’s go on dates.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“OMG! Hyung! I thought this night is a disaster. I’m so sorry earlier for making—“

“Stop jumping around! You’re making me dizzy. Now come on, pizza’s already cold. Let’s eat and watch this damn movie already.”

“Yes! Anything you say!”

“Stop shouting.”

“Sorry, I’m just so excited.” Seokmin whispered making Joshua laugh.

Joshua stared at the younger boy not quite knowing if he made the right decision agreeing to go on dates. He knew he wasn’t quite over with what he feels for Seungcheol just yet, and he felt guilty for somehow getting Seokmin mixed up in his journey to move on. But he also wanted to give himself a chance, maybe and just maybe, he just needed to shift his attention to someone else and the feelings would just follow.

**SOONYOUNG**

**Hoshi Live Stream**

****

* * *

***Unfortunately, I can't post the thread with pictures here because it has NSWF Contents.**

***It will not affect the story, but if you're interested to access:**

***Link: https://privatter.net/p/7037039**

** *Do not read if uncomfortable: Describes what happens in Hoshi’s livestream  **

***Follow[@sexysunhey](https://twitter.com/sexysunhey) to access the page. Age on Bio or DM to accept. Thanks!**

* * *

> 🔞
> 
> LIVE CONTENT:
> 
> Hoshi started the live with him on his knees on his bed. He was wearing a black shorts and black shirt, not bothering to dress up for the live since it was the request of one of clients who prefer to see him in his home clothes. The only item that seemed out of place was the mask which covered half of his face, revealing only his pinkish lips.
> 
> “Hello everyone! How’s are you guys doing? I missed you all at the club tonight. Thanks Daddy Gab!” Hoshi said. He talked some more about his day, and how his set in club went. “Sorry, I’ve been talking a lot haven’t I?”
> 
> c1: yes
> 
> c2: whipped off your dick baby i wanna see now
> 
> c3: yeah more doing hoshi-ah
> 
> c4: come on m horny
> 
> israfil: No, talk more.
> 
> C5: Yes u are
> 
> There were a lot of YES in the comments, except for one person named Israfil (Jihoon) who said no and talk more. Hoshi found himself smiling.
> 
> “Thank you Israfil. I guess only one person will get lucky with their requests.” Hoshi teased as he grabbed a tub of vanilla ice cream. Soonyoung laughed at the amount of comment protesting.
> 
> c1: unfair!!
> 
> c2: he’s new!
> 
> c3: why???
> 
> Israfil: 😉
> 
> “Oohhh! Thanks Israfil! Kisses! If it’s okay with everyone, I’ll this ice cream first.” Hoshi said as he opened the ice cream tub that Israfil had sent him. He then took a spoonful and started licking the ice cream off the spoon, letting it melt to his hands which he also licked. He then used his fingers to scoop a bit of ice cream before putting it in his mouth. He moaned as he sucked in his finger.
> 
> “Ahhh… I’ve always wondered how ice cream flavor cocks tasted…” Soonyoung said as he continued his ministrations.
> 
> C1: I’ll let you eat ice cream off me anytime.
> 
> C2: Shit that’s so hot.
> 
> C3. Baby, more.
> 
> C4: Damn, I’d like to fuck your mouth.
> 
> Soonyoung then grabbed a dick looking dildo and placed it on the bed. Soonyoung smiled with the amount of excited comments when the viewers realized what his plan was. They were also suggestions to use the ice cream as lube which he had no intention of doing since he didn’t want to waste good ice cream.
> 
> “Sorry guys, I don’t want to waste a single bit of ice cream since a very special client sent this to me.” Soonyoung said. He then lather the ice cream on the dildo and started licking it bit by bit before engulfing the dildo entirely with his mouth. He repeated the motion until he could feel the head hit the back of his throat, deeper and deeper with each bobbed of his head. He moaned for effect and moved closer to the camera. He let the camera capture how his throat bulge when the dildo pushes through it.
> 
> C!: Hoshi tell me what to do.. I’ll do everything if you let me fuck your mouth like that
> 
> C2: Shit shit shit. I’m going to cum even before the main event.
> 
> C3: Hoshi-ah it’s unfair to keep those gifts to selected few. Approve my request first.
> 
> C4: Look I’m leaking so much precut
> 
> C4: Pic
> 
> Soonyoung noticed the picture comment. He then used his spoon to scoop melting ice cream on the dildo, making it appear as the dildo was dripping cum. He then used his tongue to clean the dildo with every bit of ice cream.
> 
> C!: Yes, I want you to like my cum all over me.
> 
> C2: Hoshi I need you please
> 
> C3: You’re so hot!
> 
> Israfil: I just came earlier but I’m already hard again.
> 
> C4: Damn.
> 
> Soonyoung noticed Israfil’s (Jihoon’s) comment and smiled despite himself. Never had he encountered a client that intrigued him so much and he hadn’t even seen him. The just feels drawn to his words and wanting to do things to please him and Soonyoung didn’t know why.
> 
> “Israfil, show me.” Soonyoung said as he addressed the client through the camera. He smiled when Israfil immediately complied sending a pic of the outline of his hard on.
> 
> I: Pic
> 
> I: Like what you see?
> 
> C1: Everybody here likes what they see
> 
> C2: Hoshi stop with the teasing
> 
> C2: Yeah you’re only making all of us jealous
> 
> “Definitely. I can’t wait to test those babies out.” Soonyoung teased as he licked the dildo for one more time while imagining that it was the client’s shaft instead. “I guess I’ve teased you long enough.”
> 
> Hoshi declared and there were lots of assent. He knelt on the bed and turned his back to the camera before he started lowering down his shorts revealing his creamy ass. He slowly took of his shorts and underwear entirely before giving himself a few slaps before kneeling side ways not quite revealing himself yet.
> 
> “I think I dragged out the teasing for too long. I’m already so hard.” Soonyoung said as he grabbed a pillow and encased it in between his thighs. There was a surge of comments as he grind his erection against the pillow, moaning at all the right timing while caressing his body. He surprised everyone when he suddenly went on all fours and started thrusting his hips to the pillow.
> 
> “Shit, I need somebody to pound me from behind. Please…” Hoshi begged. He stopped when he was about to cum and faced the camera. He spread his leg wide revealing his cock which was already moist with the amount of precum he released. He rested for several minutes as he read through the comments before he started stroking himself using his precum as lube to make his hand glide along his shaft.
> 
> C1: Baby…
> 
> C2: You need some ass pounding
> 
> C3: Your cock looks so good to eat
> 
> C4: Show as you ass baby
> 
> When hoshi read the last comment, he leaned back some more and lifted his hips for a little bit to expose his twitching hole. He was proud of his rim as he takes special care of it to maintain it’s pinkish look.
> 
> C1: Oh baby… twitch those hole for me..
> 
> C2: I’d give anything to feel you clenched around me Hoshi ah…
> 
> C3: I’m so hard fuck..
> 
> C4: I want to taste you Hoshi
> 
> “I haven’t been fucked in so long I think I’ve forgotten how it feels to be stretched out.” Soonyoung sad as he continued to stroke himself, the fact that he was spread wide and totally exposed was making him hotter. He then moved the camera to capture him, one elbow resting on the a shelf, knees wide apart as he used one hand to continue stroking himself. He could feel is precum drip to the floor as he continued to slowly stoke himself, enough to give him pleasure but not enough to drive him into his climax.
> 
> When he had enough, he took of his shirt and grabbed black dildo and poured lube all over it before he lie on his bed face down. He then slowly rubbed it on the rim of his before slowly inserting it into him. Slowly fucking himself with the dildo first, and gradually increased his speed and force.
> 
> “Ahhhhh… shit…” Hoshi moaned as he moved against his hand, adjusting the angle of the dildo that it pressed on his prostate. By that time, Hoshi had completely forgotten about his audience and was concentrated on bringing himself release. When he was close he moved position and face the camera, dildo still inside him, pressing on his prostate, while his hand worked in stroking himself to climax.
> 
> “Ahhh.. I’m cumming…” Hoshi moaned as he felt the rush of his orgasm take over the entirety of his body. He shivered as the pleasure started from his core and even reaching his finger tips and toes. He felt his cum dripping all over his hand.
> 
> C1: Taste yourself Hoshi-ah
> 
> C2: Lick it
> 
> C3: Shit I want to lick it
> 
> C4: Clean yourself with your tongue
> 
> Hoshi first took off the dildo and showed his audience his gaping hole. He then moved closer to the camera and showed them how he licked his own cum of his hand. When he got everything off, he read the comments and smiled.
> 
> “I’m glad you all enjoyed tonight’s live. I’ll see you all next week. Kisses!” Hoshi gave one last wave through the camera before turning everything off.
> 
> He was cleaning up when he heard his phone buzz with a new notification. His heart fluttered when he realized who it was.
> 
> J: I wanted to show you what you did to me.
> 
> J: PIC
> 
> H: Hmm… hot.
> 
> J: The ice cream…
> 
> H: You liked it?
> 
> J: Yes, thank you.
> 
> H: You don’t look bad yourself. Makes me want to go for another round.
> 
> J: I’d love to oblige but I think you need to rest.
> 
> H: Sweet. But you need to ease down on the tipping.
> 
> J: I just tip what I think you deserve.
> 
> H: Yeah, I know. But slow down, okay? Or I’ll block you.
> 
> J: You worried about breaking my bank?
> 
> H: No. Actually, I don’t know. I’m just looking out for you.
> 
> J: Thank you.
> 
> H: Rest time!
> 
> J: Talk to you later?
> 
> H: Yes, good night.
> 
> J: Sweet dreams tiger.

* * *

🔵

**Jihoon Twitter**

****

**JEONGHAN** ****

Jeonghan has everything set up. He already prepared food on the table. It was a simple meal since he wasn’t much of a cook. He then showered the place with rose petals, and lit all the candles he placed all over the room. He made the bed with newly bought silk sheets, made sure there was enough lube on the side table. He then placed the box containing several toys from which Seungcheol could chose anything. He planned on giving Seungcheol the full rein and just let Seungcheol do anything that he wants with him.

Jeonghan looked at the clock. It was already 8 in the evening and his boyfriend was nowhere in sight. He already left several text messages but they were completely ignored. He decided to give Seungcheol a benefit of a doubt. By the time midnight rolled in, the candles were already melted, the food was half eaten, two bottles of wine was already consumed, and Jeonghan was already drunk on the bed clutching on a black velvet box and trying his best to keep himself from breaking down until he fell asleep.

He woke up the next day with a few missed calls on his phone which he decided to ignore for some time, trying to keep himself busy by cleaning up the room.

** Jeonghan's Phone **

** **

****

Jeonghan couldn’t take it anymore, waiting for the Seungcheol who wasn’t even coming. He waited days only to be disappointed in the end. He could no longer take being in the cottage, so he packed his bags and drove home. It was already midnight when Jeonghan arrived in the city. When he arrived home, everything was so quiet and still. For the first time in years, their home felt cold. It no longer felt like the love nest that they moved into years ago. All Jeonghan could see as he look through their huge apartment was that everything was segregated into his things and Seungcheol’s things.

He had a room for himself where he kept all his clothes and make up; while Seungcheol has his own study. He looked at the dining room and couldn’t remember the last time they even had dinner there as a couple. Their bedroom also felt the same. They have a huge king size bed with tons of pillows. He missed their old apartment where everything was lost in the sea of their stuff. He couldn’t even remember the last time he used Seungcheol’s underwear.

He asked himself if it was the life that he really wanted. There was too much space that they’ve already forgotten how to be intimate. Jeonghan felt suffocated despite the huge distance between them.

** **

Seungcheol found his boyfriend in the kitchen sitting alone in the dark, staring at a black velvet box. He hesitated before he slowly walked towards him. He didn’t know what to say. He thought the meeting was important. He thought securing funds for the company was more important than their weekend getaway. But he knew he fucked up just by looking at Jeonghan’s face totally devoid of emotion.

“H—Hannie?” Seungcheol whispered. He hesitated before walking closer to his boyfriend. “Hey.. Hannie, I’m sorry. I told you I couldn’t make it. I have meetings the entire week but you still insisted on going. I’m sorry.”

Seungcheol explained and took a seat beside Jeonghan on the table. He tapped his foot under the table as he waited for Jeonghan to say something. He knew he fucked up he just didn’t know how much. For the first time in their relationship, he felt afraid.

“Here.” Jeonghan said as a slid the velvet box towards Seungcheol. “Happy anniversary.”

“I’m so sorry, Hannie.” Seungcheol tried to grab Jeonghan’s had, but the other was quick to tuck it under the table. “Baby, I’m sorry. Please.”

Seungcheol felt guiltier as he held on to the box. If he knew it was their anniversary, he would have done something. But his work got in the way. It wasn’t like him to forget special dates. He knew he’d been neglecting Jeonghan. But lately he had been feeling overwhelmed with everything that he just needed to deal with it one thing at a time. He started with work because it was the most pressing, with Jihoon getting married and probably taking a hiatus, he needed more funds to spend for their new group. He thought Jeonghan would understand. But he guessed he pushed him too far.

“I’m sorry too.” Jeonghan whispered, not looking at Seungcheol.

“I—“

“Cheol, I want to break up.” Jeonghan interrupted.

“W—what?” Seungcheol knew he fucked up, he just didn’t know the consequence of that was Jeonghan leaving him. “Hannie, this is the first time I forgot our anniversary. It won’t happen again.I didn’t mean for it to happen. Was what I did so bad? Please let’s talk first before—“

“You really think this is just about the anniversary?” Jeonghan asked. He couldn’t believe Seungcheol would think that he was that shallow to break up over on forgotten anniversary.

“I—- what is it then?” Seungcheol asked looking totally confused.

“Cheol, do you even still love me?” Jeonghan whispered voice cracking a little bit as he tried so much not to cry.

“Of course, I do.”

“Then why can’t I feel it?”

“ I love you so much! You know that!” Seungcheol insisted. Seungcheol could feel the desperation engulfing his whole being. He was losing Jeonghan and he didn’t know what to do.

“No, I don’t know that because I don’t feel that you do.” Jeonghan said eyes already damped with tears. “For the last three months, I feel like you’re with me but your mind is elsewhere.”

“Hannie—“

“When was the last time we had sex? When was the last time you took the initiative to kiss me? When was the last time that you actually felt turned on for me?” Jeonghan asked.

“So, this is about sex? I admit I haven’t been attentive in that department but—“

“You fell asleep with your dick in my mouth!” Jeonghan yelled.

“I was tired.” Seungcheol said as if it explained everything. “If this is just about sex then I’ll try harder. Please, I promise to try harder.”

Seungcheol went around the table, turning Jeonghan to face him before kneeling in front of him.

“Please, I will try harder.” Seungcheol begged.

“But that’s the point though, I don’t want you to try harder as if I’m a job that’s need attending. I want you— I want you to want me. I want you to be passionate about me. But that’s not the case anymore isn’t it?” Jeonghan cried.

“Hannie—“

“It’s okay.” Jeonghan said. “Last, Saturday was supposed to be our anniversary. I waited for you for two days. I told you I needed that one. I told you to come because I needed you. I needed you because I felt like I was losing you, I was losing us, and I’m right.”

“Hannie, I’m sorry. I was busy and—“

“You’re always busy. But why do I feel like it’s one excuse?”

“Excuse?”

“An excuse to be away from me.” Jeonghan whispered. It was the fear that he couldn’t admit even to himself for the past months, that maybe the reason why Seungcheol prefer staying at work was to stay away from him. That maybe, he was just too scared to tell him that he does not love him anymore.

“W—what?” Seungcheol asked, dreading Jeonghan’s next few words. His heart clenched when he realized just how much pain he put Jeonghan through.

“I can’t feel that you love me anymore.”

“That’s not true.” Seungcheol pleaded. “Please…”

“We don’t even talk anymore.”

“Hannie, tell me what to do to fix this and I will.”

“I don’t know.”

“Hannie..”

“I love you so much, but I can’t keep living this way.” Jeonghan admitted. Every bit of rejection from Seungcheol, nights of sleeping alone, nights of feeling unwanted, it was getting too much for him to bear. He couldn’t keep putting himself through that loneliness otherwise he’ll crack. “I’m sorry, Seungcheol. I have to go.”

Jeonghan leaned in and gave Seungcheol one last kiss on the forehead, before standing up. He grabbed his already packed suitcases from their bedroom, before giving Seungcheolwho was still kneeling in the kitchen one last glance.

“Hannie.. wait.. please..” Seungcheol begged rubbing his fingers together. But Jeonghan knew it was too late. He needed to get out of the relationship before he totally loses himself. He gave Seungcheol one last time before slowly walking away.

The sound of the door shutting was like a wake up call for Seungcheol, who just realized that he drove the only person he ever loved away. Seungcheol opened the velvet box that was in his hand. His lips quivered and his body shook when he read the note inside. He clutched the box to his chest as he sobbed on the floor not quite knowing what else to do as his life came crashing down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**JIHOON**

Jihoon just finished taking a shower after his activity with Hoshi. He was feeling refreshed and relaxed after cumming twice because of Hoshi. He couldn’t wait to watch him dance again. He couldn’t wait to talk to him again. He couldn’t wait to watch him pleasure himself again. He couldn’t wait to just be with him again, in whatever way possible. He didn’t bother putting on clothes and just went straight to bed. The thread felt soft against his naked skin. He wondered if Hoshi’s skin will feel the same way, pressed against him, their groins touching. He wondered when he can touch him; when he can touch him and illicit the most sinful moans.

 _Shit._ Jihoon cursed. He stopped when felt that he was halfhard already. He was already under Hoshi’s spell. He knew from the moment he saw him at the club. He stopped thinking about his libido and instead, he tried to recall how Hoshi’s voice sounded from the video; how he moaned in the most sensual way for every pleasure that his own hand brought him; how he tried to remember every detail of how Hoshi moved, how he looked, and how his body reacted to his own touch.

His voice which sounded so much like Soonyoung, and Jihoon knew it was because Hoshi is Soonyoung. He didn’t need to see the other half of Hoshi’s face to confirm that he was indeed the boy from the past because he knew. He knew it by the way he moved his body, the way his toes curled every time his pleasure spot was hit, the way he prolongs his moans and even the silent gasps he gives out just when he’s about to cum. He knew all this because they were part of the things that he loved when he made love with Soonyoung; how expressive he was of his pleasure.

He grabbed his phone and stared at the address that Hoshi sent him. He knew it was in the poorer area of the city. He knew that Hoshi was probably living in one of those older apartments, cheap but unsafe. He wondered why he would chose to live in such state when judging from the tips of that’s night stream, he was earning more than enough to rent somewhere more acceptable.

He then had a thought. He ran to his closet, put on some hoodie and sweatpants, not bothering to put on anything else. He grabbed his wallet and keys and hurriedly went out of his apartment. He entered the address in his GPS. It will take him at least an hour to reach his apartment, that’s only because there was no traffic. Jihoon thought of the club and how it was located at the other side of the bridge. He thought about how tiring it would be for the boy to travel in so far.

It was already midnight when he reached the place. His heart clenched when he realized that he was right. Hoshi was living in an old delapidated building. He took a deep breath, trying to build up courage to do what he needed to do. He should surprise him and confront him once and for all. Ask him all the questions that he was dying to ask for five years; scream at him for leaving, for not telling him why.

But he couldn’t; he couldn’t make himself step out of the car. He couldn’t bring himself to confront Soonyoung because then he’d have no reason to see him again. He’d have no reason to keep on the pretense that he signed up for the club and watched the live because he was curious about Hoshi; then he’d have to admit it to himself that the real reason why he kept chasing Hoshi was because he missed the boy from his past. More than the anger and the pain, he was consumed by his longing for Soonyoung. 

He looked at the building again and before he can stop himself; he was already starting the car and driving home.

**SOONYOUNG**

Soonyoung was lying in bed and just staring at the ceiling. He just finished his second shower for that night, and forced himself to stop. So, he lie on bed and force himself to think of other things other than the thousand of eyes that he could still feel on him. It always happened every after live, or even after serving a client. He always felt some sort of guilt and even a little bit of self loathing. He knew it wasn’t just the live, but something else entirely.

 _Stop! Don’t go there. Think about Jihoon. Think about his smiles. Good memories. Good thoughts. Only good thoughts._ Soonyoung told himself. He had put all of the bad things behind him, choosing to focus more on the positive.

He sigh and took a deep breath. He stared at the ceiling and allowed himself to think about happier times and happier days. The days when things were simpler, when rice and kimchi were enough to push his heart to overdrive of happiness. He thought about Jihoon, the boy he loved his entire life, the person closest to him the most. The boy he had to leave. Now, he was lucky if he can catch even the smallest glimpse of the boy.

He eyes fell at his woozi doll resting on one of the shelves, one that he bought on impulse, and smiled. It was so cute. He even asked their costume seamstress at the club to sew him a specific set of clothes for it. One that very much resembled Jihoon’s clothes when they were still kids, a batman costume, and his favorite dinosaur pajamas. He laughed despite himself. He loved that doll. It was one of his prized possession, along with his cd collection, and his box filled with memorabilla from the past.

He sigh and thought about happier days some more. They were the only things that he had in his life that were enough to drive away the darkness and the self loathing every time he needed to do a live, or every time he needed to service a client. He puts up a good front, flirting and deliberately being flirtatious to the point of being crass, but sometimes things gets to him; how his life turned out because of one decision, a decision he made for Jihoon.

His thoughts then went to one client in particular, a client he felt drawn to even before seeing. His curiosity was in overdrive for the man in the darkness; for the man who was lusting after him, lust underlined with heart fluttering sweetness. He could feel it in his carefully constructed messages, as if he’s afraid to offend him. He was suggestive and playful, but not overbearing with constant declarations of horniness that were usual for most of his clients.

He smiled when he remembered the packs of food that the client sent and even laughed out loud about the big jar of kimchi that was even too big for his refrigerator. How the client knew he loved kimchi was astonishing. He repacked the kimchi into smaller containers and even then he still had a lot. So, he gave some to his neighbors who were thankful for the much needed food.

He was amazed how quickly he trusted Israfil when he knew totally nothing about him except where he lived. He trusted him blindly to even give his address. He doesn’t really or more like, never really give out his address as easily he did. It was for his safety. Israfil was an unusual one, Soonyoung thought. Usually clients would have their private dances in hotel rooms, but this one invited him to his own apartment.

He sigh as he finally let exhaustion seep in through his body, his mind slowly being consumed by the need for sleep. He snuggled deeper into the covers lost in thought until sleep claimed him.

_Jihoon._

_Jihoon._

_Jihoon._

_Israfil._

**JEONGHAN**

**Jeonghan Twitter Post**

****

Jeonghan found himself sitting alone on the bar. After leaving their apartment, he found himself in front of Mingyu’s house seeking temporary shelter. He could have gone to Joshua, who was his first choice, but he thought about the man that his best friend was seeing. He didn’t want to disturb that arrangement since it clearly had a better effect on his best friend even if he doesn’t admit it. So, there he was, with several suitcases, ringing Mingyu’s door in the middle of the night. The younger boy welcomed him with open arms, and instead of asking him questions invited him to his night out.

After spending so much time alone in the cottage waiting for Seungcheol, Jeonghan was in no mood to wallow in his loneliness. So, he agreed and went with Mingyu to Rendezvous.

Jeonghan looked around the club where a group of friends were drinking and laughing while some were watching and drooling over the dancer on stage who was currently spread eagled upside down on the pole. It was his third drink of the night and was nowhere near his tolerance level.

He deliberately put his phone on silent, expecting several missed calls and messages from Seungcheol but there was none. He took another drink of his martini and decided he had enough. Alcohol was not working against the building fear in his stomach mixed with even a little bit of regret, that maybe he made a mistake walking away. But looking at his silent phone, clear of any apologetic messages was making him angry. Didn’t he deserve even one text message? He asked himself.

He was about to leave and just go home when a tall guy in a plain black mask slid him a smoked red apple martini.

“One more for the night?” The masked man asked. Jeonghan stared at the drink that implied so many things other than just a drink. He thought about whether he was ready for what it implied. He grabbed his phone and when he saw nothing, he told himself fuck it and just go with the flow. He could always stop himself from going further than flirting.

“Uhh... sure. Thank you.” Jeonghan answered. He’s probably a server since he was wearing a black mask, Jeonghan thought and didn’t want to burden him with an over expensive drink.

“Just put this one on my tab.” Jeonghan said making the masked man laugh.

 _Great smile. Kind eyes._ Jeonghan thought.

“I’m R by the way and the drink and the ones to follow are on the house.” R said.

“The ones to follow?” Jeonghan asked intrigued at the stranger’s confidence. “That’s assuming you can make me stay.”

“I’m hoping that’s the case.” R said as he raised his bottle of beer. Jeonghan returned the gesture and took a sip of his martini.

“Hmm... apple.”

“Yes, are you tempted?” R smiled as he moved closer to Jeonghan, his knees hitting his thigh.

“Maybe.”

“So what should I call you?”

“I’m—Wait. I forgot my codename.” Jeonghan blushed as he struggled to find his invitation somewhere in his clutch bag. “Hadraniel. Sorry.”

“Oh you’re one of Afriel’s friends?” R asked genuinely happy to meet him.

“Uhmm… y—yes?”

“You don’t know who I’m talking about don’t you?” R asked smirking. He signaled the bartender for another beer and gestured for Jeonghan to take a sip of his drink as he moved his seat even closer.

“I’m sorry, I—“

“It’s okay. May I?” R asked. Jeonghan nodded not quite knowing what R was asking exactly but was surprised when R suddenly leaned over. He smelled faintly of the men’s cologne and soap. Jeonghan felt his hair rise as the stranger let his lips brush over Jeonghan’s ear whispering: “You’re one of Mingyu’s friends?”

Jeonghan released the breath that he didn’t realize he was holding when R moved back to his original position. He wished the club was a little more dimmer so he could hide the blush that rose to his face all the way to his ears.

“Oh.. y—yes. I’m sorry. I’m not sure if I’m here legally—“

“It’s okay. He asked me earlier. Any friend of Afriel, is also a friend of mine.” R said and winked at Jeonghan. He then slowly raised his hand and traced the outline of Jeonghan’s mask. “You’re the angel with the hidden fire.”

“What?”

“I personally designed this mask. Based on what I read on the file, you’re an angel but you’re not afraid to bite.” R explained making Jeonghan laughed at how a person he just met accurately described him in just a few words. He was nicknamed fiery angel in the fashion industry because of his innocent features, but he could also bring out the smolder if he needed to, thus the nickname.

They ended up talking and drinking some more. Somewhere in the middle of all the flirtatious comments and alcohol, they moved their chairs even more closer while R shamelessly let his fingertips brushed on Jeonghan’s thigh. Jeonghan was startled when he felt R’s knee brushed against his groin. They were still in the bar but somehow he was sitting at the edge of stool with R’s thigh in between his, and his own in between R’s.

“Ah.. I’m hard.” R declared when Jeonghan felt his knee brushed against R’s erection. R gave him a suggestive smile and one which Jeonghan knew he wasn’t ready to return. Jeonghan watched as R continued to brush his fingertips on his thigh. He could go, he thought. He badly needed a good pounding and maybe he’ll forget all about Seungcheol. 

“I’m sorry. You’re very funny and sexy. Obviously, I’m very sexually attracted to you judging from my— Nevermind, in short, I’m also very horny—“

“I can sense a but.” R interrupted.

“But I can’t fuck you or let you fuck me, whichever way, I can’t.” Jeonghan said as he prepared to leave. “I just got out of a relationship.”

“Relationships are different from sex.” R smiled.

“I know that. My mind is telling me that. Hell, it wouldn’t even constitute as cheating even if I sleep with you right now.” Jeonghan sigh. R was really good looking and he really needed a distraction. More importantly, he needed to do something that’ll make his break up with Seungcheol sink in. He felt that his one foot is out the door but the other one is still in, waiting to be pulled back in. But he couldn’t, at least not yet. “But 10 years is a long time to let go in just one night. I’m sorry. Raincheck?”

“It’s okay. No apology needed. But here’s my card, just in case you change your mind.”

“You’ll be the first one to know.” Jeonghan smiled and walked away from a much needed fuck that would have totally shut the door to all hopes of reconciliation with Seungcheol.

**⛔️ CW : Implication of Traumatic Experience ⛔️**

**SOONYOUNG**

_Callused fingers rubbed against his arm._

_Dragging his skin,_

_leaving marks._

_It was dark._

_There was nothing to see._

_Silent!_

_No one will hear._

_Harsh panting in his ear._

_Heart filled with fear._

_A scratch on his back,_

_A squeeze on his sac,_

_A pinch on his buds,_

_A tongue on his crease,_

_invading and pushing._

_Hand gliding along his manhood,_

_choking on wood._

_His face dripping in cum._

_His throat constricting._

_Almost out of air._

_Almost out of breath._

_Breathe!_

“Breath!” Soonyoung yelled in the darkness as he sat up and gathered the blanket closer to him. He was drenched in sweat and he was shaking. He was panting and his heart was palpitating. He rubbed his hands over his chest, hoping to relieve some of the pressure. He wanted to cry out but it was no use. He was alone. He only had himself to rely at the moment.

“It was just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.” Soonyoung told himself, willing himself to get his mind off that plane of thought. When he was calm enough, he stood up and took another cold shower, which helped a little bit. He took a pack of instant rice and grabbed a container of Israfil’s kimchi. He used his phone to play one of Woozi’s song. The taste of the kimchi and Woozi’s soothing voice calmed his mind bringing him back to his reality. By the time he finished his food and Woozi’s whole album, the sun was already peeking through the window. He spent another sleepless night seeking comfort from memories.

🔵

**Soonyoung / Jihoon Chat Conversation**

****

**Soonyoung / Wonwoo Conversation**

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**SEUNGCHEOL / JEONGHAN**

****

**Seungcheol's Messages:**

<https://watch.wave.video/603cd73446e0fb0001ae1fcb>

**SEUNGCHEOL**

Seungcheol couldn’t stop looking at his message to Jeonghan which remained unanswered. The icon indicating that it was seen, was getting bigger, consuming him. He’d been on the kitchen floor the whole night, not wanting to move; not wanting to go to their bedroom and find that Jeonghan took all of his things with him. He couldn’t take it. He wouldn’t be able to bear it. For the first time in years, he was looking at a future with no Jeonghan beside him and it terrified him. Jeonghan meant everything to him and yet he pushed him away. Jeonghan was the most understanding person in the world, yet he drove him to such decision.

Seungcheol wrapped his arms around himself as he cried over his lost love until he fell asleep on the floor still holding on to the velvet box. He woke up to a very distressed Jihoon, shaking him.

“Hyung! Shit! You almost gave me a heart attack. I thought you fucking died!” Jihoon yelled as he fell to the floor in relief. “What the fuck happened? The company called me saying you never showed up. They tried calling you. Are you sick? Where’s Jeonghan hyung?”

“I’m—“ Seungcheol tried to stand up but he was too weak so Jihoon rushed to help him. He opened his phone to check if Jeonghan replied to his message, but to his disappointment, Jeonghan ignored it. He stared as his phone some more willing for it to ring, but it remained silent. He walked towards their kitchen and rummaged the shelves for some alcohol, maybe drinking will lessen the gaping hole in his heart.

“Cheol, you’re scaring me.” Jihoon said as he watched his best friend struggle to open a bottle vodka he found in one of the cupboards.

“J—jeonghan left me.” Seungcheol whispered, putting the bottle down on the kitchen island as he fell to the floor sobbing. He leaned back on the island and held his knees to his chest as he despairingly cried.

“Hyung…”

“H—he left me. H—e took all his clothes a—and left. I don’t know what to do. I— I can’t— I can’t do this.” Seungcheol cried on the floor of their kitchen and all Jihoon could do was sit beside him and pat him on his shoulders. Jihoon spent the rest of the night just trying to be there for his friend who was curled up on the kitchen floor, lost in his despair.

**JOSHUA**

Joshua patiently waited for Seokmin outside the hospital. For a change, there was still light when he walked out of the hospital, a very rare occurence. It was still early in the afternoon, so he agreed to Seokmin’s offer of dinner. Their first date. Joshua didn’t know what’s gotten into him when he agreed to go on, not just one but several dates. He was just happy and relaxed during that day that all worries just vanished. Kai must have put him under a spell, and now that the spell is disappearing, he was getting convinced that the dates were a bad idea. But he couldn’t back out now, he didn’t want to hurt Seokmin.

“Hyung!” Joshua was startled when Seokmin sunddenly appeared beside him already removing his padded jacket and placing on Joshua’s shoulders. “You should have waited inside, it’s cold!”

It was cold, but it was too good a day to waste cooping up inside a building. Besides, Joshua didn’t like staying inside the hospital more than he should.

“It’s okay Seok. I needed some fresh air anyways.” Joshua said. He could already feel the stress starting to come back. He looked at Seokmin and really looked at him. It was like he was looking at the sun. Seokmin had this positive energy radiating off him and it was contagious, Joshua found himself smiling back despite his worries. “Where are we going?”

“Well, I figured you’d want to go somewhere near. I know you need sleep more than anything else.” Seokmin said as he guided Joshua towards his car. Joshua smiled when like a gentleman Seokmin opened the door for him. “I figured you’d like something hot. So, ramen?”

“I’m good with anything.” Joshua answered as he took of Seokmin’s coat.

“I was just joking, hyung. I found a really really cute place.” They drove in silence for a few minutes before they finally arrived at a cozy cafe . The interiors were, for lack of better word, cute. It was one of those instagrammable cafes that attract a lot of tourist. The interior were all pink with an unhealthy amount of teddy bears spread out through out the cafe. In one side, there was a pool of pink plastic balls with teddy bears.

The cafe was packed with teenagers taking photos all over the place, while some were already in the pool playing around with the balls. Joshua almost wanted to give up. He could feel a headache creeping in, but one look at Seokmin and he knew he couldn’t bail on him. So, he took a deep breath and prepared himself for a night of chaos. Seokmin’s face and he refrained himself from saying anything.

**Seokmin's Post**

****

“I hope you like the food here.” Seokmin said who was clearly excited. “We can also take pictures. There’s a big teddy bear at the corner! Then we can play at the pool!”

Joshua smiled not quite knowing how to respond to Seokmin’s suggestions. He sincerely hoped the food was good or his sacrifice will be for nothing.

They were in the middle of their dessert when Joshua noticed several messages on his phone. He almost choked on his frappuccino when he saw that it was from Kai who sent him several explicit pictures of himself. “They have these teddy bear cakes that are so cute! They have pasta if you want something heavier.”

“Oh, anything’s fine.” Joshua said trying his best to ignore the loud laughters coming from another table.

It took them a while to finally get a table, and when they did Joshua was already exhausted and was feeling the stress of the day coming in. He tried to school his face to something more accepting but Seokmin must have noticed his annoyance because he looked at him worriedly.

Seokmin said as they were led to their booth bear the noisy teenagers.Seokmin was clearly panicking already.

“It’s really okay.” Joshua said no longer able to disguise his annoyance at being asked if he’s okay repeatedy.

“Are you sure? I’m sorry—“

“Can you stop?! Let’s just get this over with!” Joshua snapped. He regretted it immediately when he saw Seokmin’s devastated face. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I should have—“

“No!” Joshua sigh and found himself reaching out for Seokmin’s hand. He took a dee breath before talking again. “Seokmin-ah, it’s not your fault. I’m just— I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Can we start over?”

Seokmin smiled and squeezed Joshua’s hand back.

“Okay, be right back.”

Several minutes later, Seokmin came back with several packages of food. He held out his hand to Joshua, who took it in a dazed.

“Come on.” Seokmin said pulling Joshua out of the booth.

“Where are we going?”

“Just come on.”

Seokmin pulled him out of the restaurant and guided him back to the car. Seokmin blushed when he realized he was still holding Joshua’s hands. They drove around for a few minutes and Joshua was surprised when they finally arrived. Seokmin brought him to a roadside overlooking the city lights.

“Wow. How did you find this place?”

“Well, I...” Joshua laughed when Seokmin blushed and hurriedly went out of the car. He watched him grabbed an old blanket from the trunk, spreading it on the grass floor, as Joshuabrought the food to their little picnic area, where they ate their food quietly.

“I’m sorry about earlier.” Joshua said. “I know it’s not an excuse but I’m easily stressed this days.”

“I should be the one apologizing. I should have know that place would be packed. I wanted a light, cute and romantic atmosphere so Seungkwan suggested it.” Seokmin explained as he grabbed his smoothie. Joshua knew Seokmin means well and he certainly would have appreciated the place if it weren’t for the crowd and his own state of mind. 

“We can always go back.” Joshua offered.

“Really?” Seokmin asked genuinely surprised. He thought that after the cafe fiasco that Joshua would never agree to go out with him again. He packed up all their trash and set it aside.

“Sure. Why not?”

“Well, I just thought that this is probably the last date.” Seokmin said smiling sheepishly at Joshua.

“I admit I’ve thought about that.” Joshua teased. “But I like this. Next time bring wine.”

Joshua smiled before lying down on the blanket and closing his eyes. Seokmin followed suit.

“Stop staring please.” Joshua teased. The night was turning to be quite lovely. Joshua stole a glance at Seokmin who currently has his eyes closed. He sigh when he realized that he felt nothing. There wasn’t butterflies in his stomach fluttering, just like how he felt whenever Seungcheol was there; nor was there this overwhelming desire to devour or to be devoured and an aching need to be touched just like what he felt with Kai; with Seokmin, there was nothing. He just felt comfortable and relaxed, and maybe it wasn’t a bad thing at the moment, Joshua decided as he smiled and moved closer to Seokmin for warmth.

** SOONYOUNG **

** Soonyoung Post **

****

** **

🔞

** Soonyoung / Jihoon **

****

****

** **

** Hoshi Instagram Post **

****

Soonyoung nodded to the doorman as he entered the luxurious apartment, who greeted him with a smile. He didn’t want to admit it but he was nervous. For the first time in his career in the club, he was nervous. Usually, he just practices a routine the morning before he dances it on stage and usually just wing it for private dances.

But for this particular appointment, he spent the better part of the week choreographing a routine that’s not openly and in-your-face sexy, opting more for subtleness and sensuality. He also carefully chose his outfit. He had on a white long sleeves polo shirt with a black tie and black pants. He planned on dancing with just the polo shirt. He wished he had bought a new lacy underwear, but the price of one, that’s luxurious enough to look at, are usually astronomical and he already spent the last of his money on a Woozi photocard.

He went straight to the elevator without having to present anything at the lobby just like before. When he arrived at the door, a small paper box was hanging on the door. He read the note and smiled when he realized what it was.

** **

Soonyoung went inside the apartment and as usually it was dark. He slowly walked the entry way and opened the first door in his right. It was an empty room that was supposedly a closet but must have been cleared out to be his changing room, since inside was a small couch, a table with red long stemmed roses, several bottles of water and a huge floor length mirror.

A black envelop was also placed on the table addressed to him. He placed all of his things on the couch and grabbed the paper bag.

He changed into his outfit and look and liked what he see. He smiled when he saw the water bottles on the table, giving him an idea.

🔞

**SONG:**

<https://open.spotify.com/track/38OWHV80YwfFMir6aHYb8B?si=0VnWVASiReSiwC9b_BQQ3A>

**JIHOON**

Jihoon was nervous. It had been a week since he last saw Hoshi, but it was a week filled with continuous flirting and sexual innuendos through texts. There were also several exchanges of a few pictures and videos, one of which was Hoshi pleasuring himself in the darkness of his own apartment. Jihoon decided it was one of his most treasured possession. But mostly it was just him asking about how Hoshi’s day went or sending him another care package, which Hoshi threatened to return if he doesn’t stop. He was lost in reverie when he heard music started playing. It was Beyoncé’s Crazy In Love but the slow version from the movie.

Jihoon almost fell of of his chair when Hoshi revealed himself on the entry way to the living room wearing nothing but a white dress shirt with a couple of buttons opened showing his collar bones and a loose black tie around his neck. He had on a simple lace mask covering the upper half of his face. His lower half was naked and he was barefoot; and Jihoon thought he was perfect.

Hoshipaused at the entry way. He opened a bottle of water and poured all of the contents all over him. Jihoon watched frozen in his seat as the water cascaded down Hoshi’s covered face falling to his neck. When he was done, he threw the water bottle aside and brushed his dampened hair out of his face as he walked towards the center of the room.

Hoshi started the dance with a single body roll with his hand moving from his chest down to his crotch. He then popped his chest before dropping to the floor with knees apart before resting one knee on the floor while his hand travelled all over his body. He then smoothly stood up and walked closer to Jihoon before dropping to the floor again. Jihoon’s breath hitched when his gift was slightly revealed after Hoshi made a turn and started slowly humping his groin against the floor.

By this time, Jihoon was totally entranced. He followed every move, every roll of the hips and every touch of the hand. He was dying to touch him and it took all of his self control not to walk towards the boy and grab him. He couldn’t even touch himself, not wanting to miss even a second of Hoshi’s performance. His mouth dropped open when Hoshi ripped apart his shirt in one go revealing his naked torso and Jihoon’s gift, a see through black underwear, revealing his already hard manhood already glistening with precum and dampening his new underwear. He specifically chose the underwear because it was said to feel like gauze against one’s cock.

Soonyoung ended the song by taking off his tie and wrapping it around his eyes before lying on the floor with arms on his side and legs spread apart. Jihoon was frozen in place as he waited for the dancer to move. Hoshi laid perfectly still on the floor, panting but silent.

The silence was broken when Hoshi spoke, surprising Jihoon.

“Touch me.” Hoshi whispered. “I won’t take off the blind fold so I won’t see you, but please touch me.”

🔞

**JOSHUA**

Joshua just got home from his date with Seokmin which they ended awkwardly when Seokmin drove him home. He wasn’t sure how to say good bye, whether to kiss him or hug him. He found it awkward to kiss him since they’ve been friends for so long and he still wasn’t just there yet in terms of his feelings. Hugging also felt awkward since it was supposed to be a date. He ended up receiving a high five from very flustered Seokmin.

He took a shower before wrapping himself in his silk bathrobe to get ready for bed. He then poured himself some wine, just a little something to help him sleep. He thought with exhaustion running down his body that sleep would come easy, but it didn’t. He ended up staring at the ceiling of his bedroom for several minutes before he conceded defeat. For some reason, he was too restless to fall asleep. His bedroom felt too lit, so he turned off all the lights. It also felt warm, so he took off all his clothes and pushed the blanket off him, preferring to lie naked on his bed. But nothing helped.

He thought about how it would be nice to have someone at the moment, talk or hand job would be nice. He sigh when he thought about Kai. He’d been wanting to text him for a whole week already but was too shy to ask. He needed another session with him, but this time he wanted it harsh and hot. Hesuddenly had an idea. He took a deep breath and just told himself to just go for it. He moved his bedside table farther away from the bed and placed his phone making sure that the camera captures the exact angle he was aiming for. He also used his night light to create an ambience. When he was satisfied with his set up, he positioned himself side ways from the camera before pouring lube on his hand. He then started touching himself, thinking about Kai’s mouth on him, how his tongue was glided perfectly along his manhood, how the back of his throat perfectly fitted his cock as he deep throated him, and how his tongue felt on his crease.

He was hard in minutes. He poured more lube on his cock. Keeping his fingers loose, he let his fingertips over the head and then back again. With his other hand, he used the tips of his finger to make small circles on the tips of his penis. He then grabbed his cock, wrapping his fingers around his shaft, slowly stroking himself up and down, rubbing his thumb over and back on the head of his cock. He then started fondling his own balls by cupping them into his hands. He then let one finger hover over his crease, just rubbing over the rim over and over again.

Imagining that it was the head of Kai’s cock poking his crease drove him over the edge. He trembled and moan as he came into his own hand.

When he came down from his high, he went to his camera, edited it for a bit. He smiled when it came out good. It perfectly showed his abs as he came. He darkened the video for a bit and cropped the part where his hands and dick can be seen. He also cut the video to show just the part where he was cumming already. When he was done, he sent it to Kai.

* * *

> *Joshua's Chapter
> 
> *https://privatter.net/p/7058725
> 
> *Link to one with explicit content
> 
> *It contains the same one above
> 
> *To access follow @sexysunhey

* * *

**Joshua / Kai**

**Joshua / Seokmin**

Joshua checked his sent items and cursed when he realized he accidentally added Seokmin’s number to the recipient.

_Shit._

**Seokmin Post**

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

🔞

**JIHOON**

Jihoon’s breath hitched when Hoshi spoked, when Soonyoung spoked, Jihoon corrected himself. He almost cried out loud when the other boy told him to touch him. He slowly walked to Hoshi, savoring the moment until he could be close to him again. Jihoon knelt in front of the boy who was offering himself to him entirely. He thought about the last time he was this close to the boy, and he couldn’t remember. It’s as if all of his memories faded into the background, as one painful memory slowly consumed him entirely, the memory of Soonyoung leaving.

But even with such pain, Jihoon could still feel the unbearable longing for Soonyoung, a longing he thought he already overcome, but he was wrong. Every feeling came bubbling to the surface of his heart as he looked at the boy in front of him.

 _Soonyoung._ Jihoon thought as he slowly reached out his hand to Hoshi, who sent out a soft whimper when Jihoon first touched him, tracing his finger tips from his ankles, moving upwards to his thighs, moving slower towards his hips until he was tracing his soft abs.

“Ahh...” Hoshi gave out a soft moan as Jihoon let his fingertips brush through his buds, letting his fingers wander to his collarbones, enclosing Hoshi’s neck with his hand making the other boy’s breath hitched, before he brushing his thumb gently on Soonyoung’s covered cheeks.

 _Soonyoung. Soonyoung. Soonie._ Jihoon repeated in his mind as he let his eyes roam all over Soonyoung’s body. It took all of him to keep himself from pulling Soonyoung into his arms and never let go.

“It’s okay.” Soonyoung whispered when he noticed Jihoon’s hesitation.

Soonyoung yelp when Jihoon suddenly hooked his arms under his waist and leg, lifting him up bridal style. Soonyoung arms found its way around Jihoon’s neck. Jihoon’s breath hitched when he felt Soonyoung buried his face on his neck, and his knees almost gave in when he felt Soonyoung gave a soft peck on his neck.

Jihoon then gently laid Hoshi on his bed, before removing his clothes. Hoshi whimpered when he felt Jihoon’s nakedness as he covered his body with his. He brushed his thumb over Hoshi’s blindfold, with the intention of revealing himself but Hoshi stopped him.

“You can’t. It’s for your safety and mine.” Hoshi whispered. So, Jihoon stopped himself. Instead, he brushed his lips on both of Soonyoung’s covered eyes before he moved off his body and kneeling on the bed. Jihoon then gently held Hoshi by the ankle and guided it towards his lips, leaving soft kisses along the way as he moved upwards. ]

“Ahhh...”

Soonyoung moaned when Jihoon reached his abs, slowly making his way to his buds. Jihoon took the time gently licking and sucking on Soonyoung’s nipples, giving each one the same amount of attention. He hovered over Soonyoung just savoring their closeness. He trembled a bit when Soonyoung lifted his hips, brushing their manhoods together. Jihoon was about to claim Soonyoung’s lips when the other boy called him out by his club codename.

“Ah... Israfil...”

_Israfil._

Jihoon kissed Hoshi’s nose instead, before burying himself on Soonyoung’s neck while the latter leaned to the left to give Jihoon more access before he pushed himself off Soonyoung.

He then led his hands to stroke Soonyoung’s hardness through his underwear, loving the way the lace hugged his manhood to perfection. He continued stroking him through the underwear.

“Touch me please.” Soonyoung begged, but Jihoon ignored him and continued touching Soonyoung without removing his underwear, stroking his cock up and down with the pads of his fingers. He repeated the motion until Soonyoung was already squirming on his bed. “Please…”

Jihoon smiled remembering just how needy Soonyoung can be. So, he took pity on the boy and started mouthing his cock through the underwear.

“Ngggg…”

Jihoon slowly peeled off the lace underwear off him without detaching his mouth from Jihoon’s cock.

_Shit. I missed you._

When the underwear was off, Jihoon grabbed Soonyoung’s leg and pulled him toward the edge of the bed. Jihoon knelt on the floor and used his hands to push Soonyoung’s knees upwards and towards his chest.

Jihoon almost moaned when he saw Soonyoung was not clean shaven all over his lower half. His hole that was perfectly clean and pink, was already twitching. He then slowly licked a stripe on Soonyoung’s crease making him shudder from the touch.

_You still taste so good, Soonyoung-ah. I missed your taste so much._

Jihoon teased Soonyoung with the end of his tongue, not quite passing over his hole but preferring to lick the sides. He then started licking Soonyoung’s perineum eliciting a moan from Soonyoung, teasing him more by licking the outer rim. When he felt that Soonyoung had enough teasing, he flattened his tongue did long and slow licks, starting at the end of his butt all the way to his perineum.He tightened his gripped on Soonyoung when the latter squirmed when Jihoon started swirling the tip of his tongue in circle around the opening. He then changed directions and flicked his tongue up and down. He continued his ministration, using his tongue to fuck Soonyoung’s ass, savoring Soonyoung’s taste. Soonyoung was already in a moaning mess when he finally got a fill of him.

Jihoon then grabbed a lube from his bed side table, pouring a liberal amount on Soonyoung’s hole and his finger. Jihoon started with his index finger, he thought Soonyoung would be looser wouldn’t need much stretching but he was wrong. He felt Soonyoung tensed when Jihoon added another finger with waiting for the burn to disappear, so he stopped.

“It’s okay. You can go fast if you want. I can take it.” Soonyoung whispered so Jihoon complied. He made a few scissoring motions with his fingers before he added another one, making Soonyoung whimper. So, Jihoon used his mouth to distract Soonyoung from the sting. He started licking Soonyoung’s inner thighs as his fingers worked its magic. He curled his finger but deliberately missing Soonyoung’s prostate which he knew how to find by heart.

“Please… Shit… Please… Please…”

Jihoon smiled so he let the pad of his finger hit Soonyoung’s prostate eliciting a moan from the other boy, before deliberately missing it again.

“Shit… Stop teasing… Please…”

Jihoon almost laughed but his laughter died down when he saw Soonyoung adjusted his position and was fucking himself with Jihoon’s fingers. So Jihoon obliged, he pressed Soonyoung’s hips down before he speedily and harshly moved his fingers in and out of Soonyoung repeatedly hitting his pleasure spot.

“Ahh… Y—yes.. Don’t S—“ Soonyoung shivered as released a dribble of milky fluid from his urethra.

Jihoon, however did not stop moving his fingers. He continued fucking Soonyoung with his finger before engulfing Soonyoung’s entirety with his mouth.

 _I miss this. I miss your the feeling of your cock in my mouth as it grazed my tongue and my cheeks, and as the head hit my throat._ Jihoon thought.

Jihoon continued to bobbed his head up and down, taking more of Soonyoung’s cock into his mouth every time until he could feel it hit the back of his throat; while his fingers worked on hitting Soonyoung’s prostate continuously.

“Sh… sh… sh…” Soonyoung tried to say but the pleasure was consuming him, sending loads and loads of electricity all over his body. “I’m… c—cumming…”

Jihoon relaxed his throat as he prepared to received Soonyoung’s load in his mouth.

Jihoon watched as Soonyoung pulled on his own hair as another wave of orgasm wrecked through his body. Soonyoung trembled in pleasure when Jihoon sucked his cock some more, taking all of his load without missing a drop. He then removed his fingers out of Soonyoung hole, and without giving him a chance to recover replaced it with his cock. He rammed into Soonyoung in one go making the boy cry out as he was already at the edge of overstimulation, but Jihoon did not let up as he continued to aim his thrusts on Soonyoung’s prostate.

“Ahh… shit…” Soonyoung cried out as Jihoon continued to thrust harshly into him. Jihoon then used both his hands to pushed Soonyoung knees closer to his chest as he repeatedly rammed his cock into him. In a short time, Soonyoung was trembling again as he came dry from Jihoon’s cock.

Jihoon immediately stopped when he saw that Soonyoung was clenching his fist on the blanket, face already stained with tears, and he tried to stay still despite the pain from the overstimulation. He pulled Soonyoung off the bed before making him lie down again, with his head at the edge of the bed. Jihoon brushed his thumb over Soonyoung’s lips in a silent question.“It’s okay.” Soonyoung answered as he opened his mouth to received Jihoon’s cock. Jihoon started slowly. He could feel Soonyoung already struggling to stay afloat, already exhausted and spent for the night. He almost stopped until he felt Soonyoung’s hand at his backside pulling him towards him in time with his thrusts. So, Jihoon started picking up his speed and thrusting deeper until he felt the head of cock hit the back of Soonyoung’s throat. He let his rested both his hand on Soonyoung’s chest as he continued to thrust into Soonyoung’s mouth, enjoying how Soonyoung’s throat bulged ads Jihoon’s cock slide into him.

“Ahh..” Jihoon moaned quietly as he came. He took his cock out of Soonyoung except for the head and stroked himself as he released his juice on Soonyoung’s waiting mouth.

He lie on the bed beside Soonyoung who had already curled up in exhaustion. When he came down from his high, he stood up and moved Soonyoung who already surrendered to exhaustion, into a more comfortable position. He gently covered Soonyoung with a blanket. He sat on Soonyoung’s bedside as he listened to Soonyoung’s breathing becoming more relaxed as he plunged deeper into sleep. Jihoon hesitated before slowly removing the necktie around Soonyoung’s eyes and then the laced mask.

Jihoon’s breath hitched at first sight of Soonyoung’s sleeping face.

_You’re still beautiful as the day I first fell in love._

He brushed his thumb on Soonyoung cheeks before leaning and ever so slowly and gently leaving a soft peck on Soonyoung’s lips. Jihoon froze when Soonyoung stirred for a bit before settling down again. He stood up and started walking to the door.

“I love you. Even when you hurt me, I still love you.” Jihoon whispered before he let himself out of the door, leaving Soonyoung to rest in his room.

* * *

> *Jihoon's Chapter
> 
> *https://privatter.net/p/7059055
> 
> *Link to one with explicit content/images
> 
> *It contains the same one above
> 
> *To access follow @sexysunhey

* * *

**Jeonghan / Jihoon**

**JEONGHAN**

Jeonghan decided that if Jihoon is worried, then there must be something wrong. He found himself driving to their apartment building in the middle of the night. He told himself that he was just checking on Seungcheol, and that there was no way he was caving in nor taking him back. He just wanted to make sure that Seungcheol was okay and maybe kill Jihoon of it turns out to be an overreaction, but it wasn’t an overreaction judging by how the apartment looked when he went in.

The apartment was a mess. Their entry way was filled with mismatched shoes and there were several bottles of alcohol on the floor. The walk in shoe closet that he took time to organized was a mess. He almost fainted when he saw the state of their living room. There were bottles of beer everywhere. There was even a stain on his expensive couch, one that he bought and brought himself from Europe.

_I’m going to kill Seungcheol._

He almost screamed out loud at the state of the carpet that he bought from one of his travels. He almost fainted when he saw that Seungcheol used his over the top expensive Santangelo glass bowl for pop corn. There were packs of fast food on his crystal coffee table. The kitchen was also a mess with tons of unwashed dishes, unknown sauce stains over the marble surfaces and floor. Several boxes of pizza and chinese food were littered on the kitchen counter, together with different bottles of alcohol.

He breathe in relief when he saw that several of their picture frames were safely tucked into book shelves, together with Seungcheol’s trophies for producer of the year. His heart softened a bit at the sight. At least Seungcheol cared enough for what really mattered, Jeonghan thought.

Jeonghan dreaded going to their bedroom. He didn’t want to think the state that it would be in, especially since the living room seemed like a hurricane passed by it. He slowly opened the room and was shocked to see that the bed was made up, as if it hasn’t been slept on for days. Everything the room was a huge contrast to what he saw outside. Everything was kept in place, even the robe he unceremoniously threw on the bed the day he left.

Of course, he thought and his heart sunk a little. Of course Seungcheol would be working, instead of going after him and fighting for him to come back, Jeonghan thought. His emotions were all over the place not quite knowing what to expect when he came by.

He went to Seungcheol’s office where he was sure he can find his ex-boyfriend burying himself in work, but the room was empty. There were piles of paperwork strewn all over the place. Several bottles of alcohol were also visible all over the room. He looked around more, getting more worried that Seungcheol doesn’t seem to be in apartment.

He went back to their bedroom and went straight to their huge bathroom that was connected to their walk in closet but it was also empty. He was about to leave when he caught a glimpse of someone’s feet poking out of his closet. His heart dropped when he found Seungcheol, curled up underneath several piles of his clothes, clinging to them as if his life depended on it. Jeonghan teared up watching the love of his life holding own to his guccis and chanels like his life depended on it.

“Cheollie?” Jeonghan crouched down and tried to shake Seungcheol but he wouldn’t wake up. “Cheollie?”

Jeonghan shook him a little harder. Seungcheol finally stirred from his hiding place. He was a little groggy at first, which left all too sudden when he realized that it was Jeonghan who was shaking him awake.

“H—hannie!?” Seungcheol almost jumped out of his hiding place. He pulled Jeonghan into theirwalk in closet and shutting the door. “I—I can explain.”

“Okay?” Jeonghan raised his eyebrows when he noticed that Seungcheol was naked. “What is it that you need to explain and why are you naked?”

Seungcheol seemed to have noticed his state and blushed as he tried to look for something to cover himself up.

“Don’t bother. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” Jeonghan said as he tried to walk out of the closet but Seungcheol blocked him. “What?”

“D—don’t leave. Please. I’ll clean everything a—and—“ Seungcheol said as he grabbed a robe from one of the piles. Jeonghan was growing suspicious but he gave his ex-boyfriend the benefit of a doubt.

“What even happened here?” Jeonghan asked, sighing as he took a seat on the carpeted closet floor.

“That’s what I’m trying to explain. To be honest, I don’t know.” Seungcheol answered. Jeonghan could see how nervous Seungcheol was. “Minhyuk and Wonho came for drinks. I—i haven’t been out of the house since you left and I— I think I worried them. So, the came and I don’t know what else happened. People came and it was a mess. I hid in here.”

“So, instead of trying to find ways to talk to me, you threw a party? Naked, I might add.”

“No!!! Of course not!!!” Seungcheol grabbed Jeonghan’s hand. “I kept calling you but it always went straight to voicemail. I asked everyone where you were, but no one was answering me. Hannie, the last few days were the worst days of my life. I— please give me a chance to fix this. I can’t live without you. As for the party, it wasn’t me. I swear. Please.”

Jeonghan bit his lips. He told himself he wasn’t going to give in but his heart was breaking its resolve. It must have been hell for Seungcheol judging from the state of the apartment and even Seungcheol himself who looked so disheveled and gaunt. He just wanted to pull Seungcheol closer to him and assure him that everything was going to be alright, but he knew he couldn’t. He mentally smacked himself for being weak, but what can anyone do? He was Yoon Jeonghan and he was crazy about Choi Seungcheol, no matter how many times he breaks his heart.

“Hannie, I did what you asked me. I took a leave from work. I— I’m here now. Please don’t leave me anymore. Please. I’ll make it up to you.” Seungcheol tearily explained.

“Cheol, do you even know why I left?” Jeonghan asked.

“I was too busy. I neglected you. I was complacent with our relationship. I was—“

"Is that really—“

“I made you feel like I don’t love you, that I don’t want you, but Hannie that’s the farthest thing from the truth. There is no one in the world that I love more than you. You’re all I ever want and for the times that I failed to make you feel that way, I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry.I’m an idiot, but I love you so much.”

“I know that, but do you still want me?” Jeonghan asked, his insecurity flaring. Love will always be constant for them especially since they’ve been together for so long, but Jeonghan was hesitant as to whether there was still desire and passion. He didn’t want to stay in a relationship if the only reason that they were together was because of the fact that they were just used to each other.

“Of course I do! Hannie, I’m sorry for making you feel that I don’t, but I do. Of course, I want you. I want you everyday. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I’m sorry for making you feel that you’re not wanted. I’ll show you. If you give me a chance, I’ll show you just how much I want you. I love you.” Seungcheol insisted.

“I don’t—“

“Hannie, I know there was no excuse for my behavior. But please, give me a chance to make it up to you. Let me show you just how much I love you. Give me a chance to correct my mistakes.” Seungcheol moved closer to Jeonghan who already lost the battle against his resolve to make Seungcheol realize his mistakes. He wanted Seungcheol to actually do something about it instead of just peppering him with words. But he missed him so much and there was only so much he could to resist Seungcheol’s sad face.

“I can’t just—“ Jeonghan tried but his words were interrupted by Seungcheol’s lips on his, and all the things that were bothering him, the pain the Seungcheol caused, all disappeared into oblivion. He missed Seungcheol and what mattered most at the moment was that he was there and he loves him. Jeonghan found himself moving to straddle Seungcheol, who immediately accommodated him on his lap.

“I missed you so much.” Seungcheol whispered in between kisses. He grabbed Jeonghan by the nape pulling him closer while his other hand was holding on to Jeonghan’s waist. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

All of Jeonghan’s mental faculties seemed to have disappeared when he felt Seungcheol’s tongue seeking his. At that moment, there was nothing more important than having Seungcheol closer. Seungcheol was slow unbuttoning Jeonghan’s shirt when his phone rang. It was Seungkwan. Jeonghan ignored it at first but Seungkwan kept calling.

“Babe, don’t—“

“I think it’s important.” Jeonghan tried to answer his phone but Seungcheol continued his ministrations, leaving opened mouth kisses along his jaw and neck.

“I think it’s... Ahhh...”

All thoughts of answering his phone went out the window when he felt Seungcheol mouth covered his perk buds.

“Baby... Is this okay?” Seungcheol asked, hesitation visible in his eyes.

Jeonghan looked at Seungcheol straight in the eye and all he could see was love. Jeonghan knew that he had already forgiven him. There was nothing that he wouldn’t do for him, he leaned in closer and left a peck on his lips.

“Don’t break my heart again.” Jeonghan said.

“I won’t.” Seungcheol answered. Eyes already filled with unshed tears, so Jeonghan pulled Seungcheol into his embrace. He loved him so much. It was like the past few months of neglect just disappeared. The fact that Seungcheol broke his heart didn’t matter, it was his to break anyways, Jeonghan thought.

🔞

Jeonghan suddenly stood up and pulled Seungcheol to the showers. Before Seungcheol could react, Jeonghan had already pulled his robe off him and threw it in the hamper. He removed all his clothes too before turning on the shower in full blast. He quickly poured shower gel all over Seungcheol body, while the latter grabbed the shampoo. Seungcheol’s heart was in overdrive watching Jeonghan lather soap all over him. His heart filled with regret for causing so much pain to the person he claimed he love. He mentally promised himself that he’d do better, for Jeonghan he’d give up the world.

“Baby, I love.. ahh..” Seungcheol tried to reassure Jeonghan again but he was interrupted when he felt Jeonghan’s hand on his shaft. The soap making his touch hotter.

“You were saying?” Jeonghan smirked when he felt Seungcheol immediately go hard with just a touch of his hand.

“Babe, you’re... i love... you...” Seungcheol tried to say but couldn’t get his words out properly since Jeonghan’s hands continued to work wonders on his shaft. Without missing a beat, Jeonghan turned on the shower, rinsing him of all the soap on his body before kneeling in front of Seungcheol.

“I miss you.” Jeonghan smiled as he came face to face with Seungcheol’s dick.

“I missed you too.” Seungcheol answered and was surprised when Jeonghan laughed.

“I was actually talking to your dick.” Jeonghan teased. Seungcheol was about to respond but the words got stuck in his throat when he felt Jeonghan mouth on his cock.

“Ahh... I miss your mouth too..” Seungcheol moaned while hand found it’s way to Jeonghan’s hair. He couldn’t believe he was able to go on days without Jeonghan’s touch on him. He felt Jeonghan’s hands gently caressing his sac. He deprived himself for so long that he found himself cumming, surprising Jeonghan who immediately took him entirely as he released his juice on Jeonghan’s mouth.

“That was quick.” Jeonghan smirked.

“I’m sorry I haven’t—“

“Come on, I’m not yet done with you.” Jeonghan said as he turned off the shower before grabbing a towel to dry themselves off. When Jeonghan felt that they were dry enough, he pulled Seungcheol out of the bathroom. He pushed him to their bed before covering Seungcheol with his body.

“Babe, can I?” Jeonghan asked in between kisses.

“Yes, I’d love that.” Seungcheol answered, his heart jumping in excitement. Seungcheol knew what Jeonghan was asking, and he only ever asks when he was feeling insecure and needed Seungcheol to let him feel a little control. It was an assurance for Jeonghan, a sign of Seungcheol’s trust; and there was nothing more that Seungcheol wanted but to let Jeonghan know that he was his, for now and forever, he belongs to Jeonghan.

Seungcheol watched as Jeonghan lathered a small vibrator with lube. He was already semi hard even though he just came a few minutes ago on Jeonghan’s mouth.

“I think we need to stretch you out for a bit.” Jeonghan said as he slowly positioned himself in front of Seungcheol who lie on bed with legs spread apart. Seungcheol’s breath hitched when he felt the small vibrator poking at his entrance. He squirmed in pleasure when he felt Jeonghan’s mouth on his again.

“I really missed you.” Jeonghan said in between licks, making Seungcheol laugh despite the overwhelming sensation he was currently feeling.

“I wanted to answer but I know you weren’t talking to me.” Seungcheol teased.

“Hmm..” Jeonghan answered mouth full with his cock.

Seungcheol moaned when he felt the head of his cock hit Jeonghan’s throat. He moaned even louder when Jeonghan adjusted the vibrator in his ass, hitting his prostate repeatedly with vibrations, that Jeonghan had to pressed on his hips to keep him in place.

“H—nannie… Shit..” Seungcheol moaned while Jeonghan continued to bobbed his head up and down, while one finger found its way to Seungcheol’s hole. “B—babe… I think.. I’m… ngghhhh….”

Seungcheol wasn’t able to finish his sentence because Jeonghan used his finger to pressed the vibrator straight to his pleasure spot. Seungcheol, was shaking as he came again, with Jeonghan’s mouth assaulting his front while his finger assaulted his back. He was still panting when Jeonghan finally let go of his cock with a pop and took pity on him and pulled out the vibrator. Seungcheol pulled Jeonghan closer to him. He tasted himself on Jeonghan’s lips.

“I love you so much, Hannie. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for still loving me despite my lapses.” Seungcheol whispered in between kisses. He smiled when he felt two fingers caressing just his rim, just staying on the surface and not putting it in yet. He was dangerously close to overstimulation but he was willing to go through it, if it was one of the ways to show Jeonghan just how much he missed him and just how much he was willing to go through for him. He wanted to return the gesture. He wanted to show just how much he worshipped Jeonghan’s body, but the latter had other plans. “Baby, you haven’t—“

“I’ll cum later, inside you. Let me to do this first, okay?” Jeonghan said. He was so hard already but he needed the control to drown out the faint shadows of doubt that still lingers. He needed to mark Seungcheol as his. He needed to feel Seungcheol squirm and pant under his touch. He knew they were crazy thoughts, the need make Seungcheol cum just to prove he still wants him; but it is what it is.

“I am yours.” Seungcheol answered putting as much resolve into his words as he could, as he traced his thumb on Jeonghan’s cheeks. 

“I love you, Choi Seungcheol.”

“I love—“ Seungcheol could finish his sentence because Jeonghan chose to moment to insert two fingers all at one. He felt Jeonghan peppered his face with kisses, as he tried to adjust to the stretch.

Jeonghan curled his fingers again, hitting Seungcheol’s pleasure spot. Seungcheol was already sweating, he knew what was coming and he couldn’t wait. His heart was telling him he could take anything, but his body was preparing for the pain that was to come with overstimulation, but he didn’t care. He squirmed when he felt Jeonghan add another finger.

“I’m sorry. I’m a little excited.” Jeonghan said, fingers working overtime to make sure Seungcheol was stretched enough to accommodate him.

“It’s okay. I think I’m ready.”

“No, you’re not.” Jeonghan said.

“I love you, Hannie.”

Jeonghan smiled and deliberately hit Seungcheol’s prostate, making the latter moan. So, he repeated the motion but Seungcheol stopped him.

“I want to cum with your dick, babe. So, please we’ve prep long enough.” Seungcheol whined making Jeonghan laugh even louder.

“I love it when you whine.” Jeonghan teased.

“I know.”

Jeonghan sat in front of Seungcheol, in between his legs and started the process of lining up his manhood against Seungcheol’s hole.

“Tell me, if it gets too much.”

Seungcheol just nodded. He didn’t bottom often, only on days when Jeonghan preferred to do so. But it was an experience that he treasured, especially when it was with his angel. It was during those times that he surrenders complete control over his body to his partner, trusting him not be too harsh or to stop when Seungcheol needed it. At the moment, Seungcheol needed to prove to Jeonghan that he needed him. He needed to prove to him that he wanted him just as much, but that he was willing to surrender everything to him because he loves him.

Seungcheol’s breath hitched when he felt Jeonghan’s manhood poking his hole. He took a deep breath and tried to relax. When Jeonghan noticed his predicament, he started running his fingers on Seungcheol’s inner thigh all the way up to his chest and back again, until he finally bottomed out. He waited several minutes until he felt Seungcheol relaxed before moving, slowly at first and picking up speed as he felt Seungcheol get lost in the pleasure.

“Ha— hannie… Ngghhh… There….”

Jeonghan thrusted faster and deeper, making sure to hit Seungcheol’s prostate every time. He watched as his boyfriend’s cock twitch every time his prostate was hit. Jeonghan grabbed Seungcheol’s cock and stroke it in time with his thrust. He pulled Seungcheol up and held him closer to him and straddling him, never stopping with his thrusts, as Seungcheol moved his hips up and down on Jeonghan’s shaft.

“I love you, Hannie.” Seungcheol whispered as he shivered through his orgasm, staining Jeonghan’s hand with his cum.

Without giving Seungcheol time to rest, Jeonghan pushed Seungcheol back to bed, with his knees pressed against his chest and thrusts growing harsher as he chased his own release. Seungcheol’s cheeks were already stained with tears as they entered the painful territory of overstimulation.

“Ahh… Shit Cheol… you’re so tight…” Jeonghan said as he thrust one more time before surrendering to his culmination. When he came down from the high of his orgasm, he gently pulled out of Seungcheol.

“I’m sorry, baby.” Jeonghan whispered as he kissed Seungcheol’s tears away.

“I love you. I love you.” Seungcheol whispered as he let himself relax and surrender to sleep. He felt Jeonghan moved a little so Seungcheol pulled him closer, spooning him as he fell asleep.

“I love you.” Seungcheol whispered again, making sure that Jeonghan knows just how much he loves him.

Seungcheol felt his back aching and woke up from the uncomfortable feeling of having dry cum inside his ass. He tried to grab Jeonghan but his hands came up empty. He woke up alone. He was about to call out to Jeonghan when he noticed his phone on the bed with several messages. He opened the one from Jeonghan and cursed out loud when he read it. He hurried to the bathroom for a change of clothes, putting on whatever he could grab.

_Shit._

He knew right then and there that the chances for forgiveness was slim, but he didn’t care. He was by the door when the reality of what he did sunk in, he clutched his hand at his chest as his body wrecked with sobs. He knew then that he lost him, he knew there was no forgiveness for what happened, but he wasn’t willing to give up just yet. Jeonghan deserve better, and he will be better if Jeonghan gives him another chance.

** Seungcheol / Jeonghan **

****

****

** Jihoon's Instagram Post (Private) **

** **

**SOONYOUNG**

Soonyoung woke up in an unfamiliar room, under the safety of comfortable blankets. The only source of light in the room was coming from the half open door. He looked around and realized that Israfil must have brought him there and he probably fell asleep after their activity. On the bedside table, was a glass of water beside his mask and neck tie.

_Shit._

He wasn’t supposed to reveal his face. It was for his safety. But he wasn’t as scared as he thought he would, probably because he trusted this particular client. There was note beside it which he immediately grabbed.

__

Soonyoung smiled at the note. It was just supposed to be a simple private dance, but things escalated quickly when Soonyoung asked Israfil to touch him. He didn’t know what drove him to the decision. It could be the glimpse of Israfil’s shadow, the curiosity of the man who was sweet and sexy at the same time, or the shadow of a man in the darkness who Soonyoung knows was thirsting for him. It drove Soonyoung’s desire and need into frenzy. The need to be touched in the way that he wanted to, not just because he needed to do it but because he wanted to do it; and he wanted Israfil to touch him. He craved his touch so much, like he was deprived of it for a long time.

Israfil didn’t disappoint. There was reverence in his touches, that was lacking in other clients. It was empowering for Soonyoung. It was as if Israfil knew how Soonyoung liked to be touched. He knew where Soonyoung liked to be kissed. He knew how to make Soonyoung moan in pleasure. He knew how Soonyoung would like to be treated. It didn’t feel like sex or being used for money. It felt like being adored, worshiped even. He found it addicting.

Then he remembered, his last thoughts before he fell asleep.

 _No, it can’t be,_ Soonyoung told himself, dismissing the thoughts completely. He didn’t believe that fate would be so cruel to test him like this. The past should remain in the past, no matter how much his heart longs for it.

He hurriedly took a shower and dressed in purple hoodie and sweats that Israfil left for him. He grabbed his things in the room, choosing to leave the laced underwear on the bedside table with a simple note. He was feeling giddy as went to the changing room where he left all his other things.

His smile faltered when he saw two black envelopes on the table. The first one was probably for the private dance, the second and thicker one was for the extra service. He took a deep breath and just decided to take it as it is. He was hired to do a job and he did, so he should be paid. He shouldn’t have let himself get carried away with a few sweet words and gestures, he told himself as he gathered all his things. He took one last look at the apartment.

“Bye…” He whispered to no one in particular and let himself out.

When he got to the apartment, he opened both envelops. He cursed with the amount that the client gave him for the dance, and even cursed louder when he opened the second envelop which contained three times the amount of his usual fee and a penny.

Soonyoung smiled when he grabbed the penny which must have been put by mistake. He’ll gladly return the rest and just take the penny, but he knew he couldn’t. His needs currently outweighs whatever his emotional impulses are at the moment. He sigh and set aside the money. He needed to send the payment the next day, and glad that at least he had enough for that month; but knowing that didn’t make the bad feeling go away.

🔞

**(FLASHBACK)**

**SOONYOUNG**

_Soonyoung’s breath hitched when he felt Israfil brushedhis fingertips against his ankle, moving upwards, until he felt him brush his cheeks with his thumb. He could feel the heat emanating from Israfil. Soonyoung wished he could see him. His closeness was evoking in him hazy memories of feelings that he had buried a long time ago._ ****

_Soonyoungwas startled when Israfil suddenlypicked him up off the floor like he weigh nothing. He could feel Israfil’s strong arms gripping his thigh and the side of his chest, his hard abs pressed against his side flexing as he slowly walked towards somewhere that only he knew where. Soonyoung, surprised even himself when he freely surrendered his control to the man who was currently cradling him in his arms. A man who tried to hid his persona behind the darkness. He was engulfed in total darkness, the lace mask and the tie blind fold, perfectly doing their job. He should have been more scared, being blind to the possible ministrations of a stranger, but for some reason he wasn’t._

_Israfil smelled refreshing. Soonyoung was oddly comforted by the smell of citrus, a sweet and crisp scent that was refreshing and reminded him of summer rain._

_It was a scent that reminded him of the one summer day at the beach, with orange peels on the sand, and the soft breeze that came with the soft rain._

_Without deliberately thinking about it, Soonyoung found himself leaving a soft peck on Israfil’s neck. A habit from long time ago, for a person from the past who still haunts his present, every day._

_J-Jihoon?_

_Soonyoung pushed the thought at the back of his mind and focused on the man who was currently there with him; a man who’d been making his heart flutter with his sweet demeanor, so different from his usual clients. Soonyoung knew his limitations, he was there to entertain and to please._

_His heart has no role to play in their arrangement, but he was only human susceptible to feeling flattered and cared for. Israfil was not his to fall in love with, not that it’s even a remote possibility. His heart, eventhough he does not freely admit it, was still with Jihoon. He left it in Jihoon’s possession when he left. He can fantasize about him, but at the end of the day, it was just that, fantasies._

_Just today._

_Soonyoung told himself as he allowed himself to be taken care of Israfil, who was surprisingly gentle and rough at the same time. He tried his best to tucked thoughts of another man in his mind, despite how much the feeling of Israfil’s touch reminded him of something in the past. Soonyoung was used to clients who doesn’t care much about his needs and focused more on theirs. They’d rammed their cocks on his mouth or on his ass without much regard whether Soonyoung was feeling the pleasure or not._

_Israfil was different. He took his time with him. He worshipped his body. He could feel it in the kisses he left all over his body, in the way he slowly removed his laced underwear as if he was unwrapping a precious jewel; he felt it in the way he subtly asked for permission as he thumb Soonyoung’s masked, and the way he stepped back when Soonyoung said he shouldn’t remove it._

_He took his time tasting him until all his senses were consumed in the pleasure of Insrafil’s tongue softly lapping his crease. He felt it in his hesitation when he finally put a finger inside him, and waited till Soonyoung’s assent to finally pick up the pace. Soonyoung could only lie down and take what Israfil was giving, because that was what he was doing. He was putting Soonyoung’s needs first, that when he felt his mouth left opened mouth kisses all over his thighs to distract him from the sting that his fingers brought. He could only lie down and take the pleasure that Israfil’s mouth brought him._

_Soonyoung smiled fondly when Israfil deliberately and playfully missed his prostate and indulge the other when he whined and begged. He thought two can play at that game and started moving his hips as he fucked himself with Jihoon’s finger. He could feel the shock of what he did reverberating in the whole room. He could only moan when Israfil decided to pick up the pace bringing him to his first release without even having to touch his own manhood. The release was not enough and he remained hard. But even then Israfil did not stop and continued assaulting his hole with his finger while his mouth heatedly enclosed his manhood. He moaned in pleasure as he felt the head of his cock hit Israfil’s throat. Soonyoung shivered in delight as he felt Israfil take his load without wasting a single drop._

_Soonyoung was in heaven when he felt Israfil’s cock rammed inside him. He could feel Israfil’s cock drag his inside. He fit so perfectly and he hit his prostate just right. He clenched his hole hoping to add to Israfil’s pleasure. There was nothing more that he wanted at the moment but to make sure that Israfil feels good, the way he made him feel good. But Israfil was unselfish, as he allowed Soonyoung to have another orgasm and was unselfish enough to removed his cock when he felt that Soonyoung was closed to overstimulation. Instead, he settled on fucking his mouth. Soonyoung’s heart fluttered at the silent question of consent when he felt Israfil’s thumb on his lips. He opened his mouth without thought. His body was his for the night._

_Soonyoung prepared himself for Israfil’s cumming and relaxed his throat to accommodate his size. He prepared to accept his load just as he did his. But what he wasn’t prepared for was the moan that followed Israfil’s orgasm._

_It felt like music in his ear, a reminder, a sound so familiar his heart almost stopped breathing, it was the sound of the man whose heart he broke when he left without even a single note, hoping that the picture he left was enough to make him believe that Soonyoung chose to break his heart._

_J—jihoon? Is it… Ji… Hoon…_

_Soonyoung thought as he tried to fight the weariness that had invaded his mind, inviting him to surrender to the darkness and to slumber._

End of ⚡️

**(FLASHBACK)**

**SOONYOUNG**

_Soonyoung was devastated. It was Jihoon and Wonwoo’s last day before they had to leave town and go to the city where they will attend the same university. Wonwoo, surprisingly majored in Film, while Jihoon was under the music department. Soonyoung passed too, but he still has to convince his father to let him go. He was also losing hope, not just with attending university but with his feelings for Jihoon to be reciprocated._

_He spent the better part of high school pining over his best friend, who was in turn crushing over another close friend who was older than the three of them, Seungcheol. Soonyoung thought that with Seungcheol in college, he’d have a chance to actually make Jihoon look at him in a different way, other than just a kid who always needed to be rescued._

_He took a deep breath as he entered his father’s office._

_Just one more time, he told himself. He’d ask one more time, even if he had to suffer a series of beatings. He didn’t care. He really wanted to go and study dance. His father didn’t even have to spend a single penny. He got a scholarship to a full ride. He planned on looking for part time jobs for his other expenses. He also wanted to be with Jihoon. He couldn’t imagine a life without the other, who had been his strength since he was still a kid._

_“D—dad? D—do you have time?” Soonyoung meekly asked from the door. He knew he shouldn’t antagonize his father, especially when he was busy with the morning paper. But he needed to do it. Just one more try, he told himself. Maybe his father will change his mind and let him go._

_“I’m busy, Soonyoung. Go study or something.”_

_“I just wanted to ask you again, about university. I got a scholarship. We don’t even have to spend any money.” His father just continued ignore him. Not wanting to be daunted, Soonyoung continued. “It’s really my dream. I’ll really work hard. I won’t disappoint you or mom.“_

_“If you don’t want to disappoint me then stop disturbing me with this nonsense. You’re going to be taking over our business and that’s final. Whatever you need to learn to do that, I can teach you here myself. There’s no need for some fancy university all across the country.”_

_“P—please…”_

_“We’re done with the subject. My decision is final. Now, stop disturbing me and go away.”_

_Soonyoung couldn’t help the tears that fell after hearing his father. He wanted to scream and maybe throw things but he knew it wasn’ta good idea. His anger would only hurt him or worst, his mother. He grabbed the old blanket and ran out of the house where all he ever felt was disdain from the man that should have loved him._

_Jihoon, on the other hand, was prepared to fight. He busied himself preparing for his planned picnic at the beach that day. He needed to convince Soonyoung to go with them. He looked at the basket and wished he could cook better. He only had weird looking gimbap, a pack of kimchi, instant rice and a couple of oranges for dessert. He already had everything planned out. Soonyoung’s mom helped him. Now, the only thing left to do was to convince Soonyoung himself to go with him even against his father’s wishes._

_He was waiting outside Soonyoung’s front the door when the latter suddenly rushed out of the house in tears._

_“Hey—“_

_“Let’s just go.” Soonyoung said as he walked away from the house in tears. There was nothing more that Jihoon want than to take Soonyoung away from his father._

_His dad had talked with Soonyoung’s dad and the beatings were so much more less frequent; but more than the physical abuse, Jihoon could see that the emotional abuse was more severe than the former. He can see it take a toll on Soonyoung’s emotional state, and there only so much he could do. Jihoon tried his best to shower his best friend with the love that was lacking from his own home._

_T_ he _walked to the nearby beach in silence, which was empty at that time of the year. Soonyoung laid down their old blanket on the sand and took a seat. Jihoon set aside the basket, and sat closer to Soonyoung who was lost in thought. Jihoon knew what Soonyoung was going through.Jihoon grabbed a penny from his pocket and offered it to Soonyoung._

_“A Penny for your thoughts?” Jihoon asked, just like he did so many other times in the past. Soonyoung took the penny and placed it in his pocket. He already had a penny filled jar from all the times that Jihoon wanted to listen to his thoughts._

_“I’m not going to university. It’s final. I tried talking to Dad about it earlier and he said I should just stay here and learn about the business.” Soonyoung explained as calmly as he could. “Maybe he’s right. I should just stay here. Mom’s here. She needs someone to take care of her.”_

_“Come with me.” Jihoon blurted._

_“Ji, you know I can’t. Dad will probably kill me if I leave. Beside, I haven’t really submitted my confirmation with the university. They probably gave my scholarship to someone else by now.” Soonyoung said as he took the food that Jihoon prepared from the basket. “This is one ugly looking gimbap.”_

_“Don’t eat it then.” Jihoon snapped. He couldn’t quite understand why Soonyoung was being calm about everything. They were going to be separated for a long time and Soonyoung was acting as if nothing’s happened, like everything is alright, when it’s not. “I actually already submitted your confirmation letter. I talked to your mom and she signed it. She wants you to go.”_

_“Why would you do that?” Soonyoung yelled. “Ji, I can’t just leave—"_

_“If it’s money you’re worried about, I have—“_

_“I’m not taking your family’s money! It’s not about the money!” Soonyoung took an orange and peeled it, letting the orange peels fall to the sand. He didn’t know why he was so angry. Maybe it was because of the fact that it was Jihoon who was saving him again, like he did so many times; maybe because he was frustrated with his life; maybe because he wanted to be the one to be able to do things for Jihoon. “Let’s stop. I don’t want to fight.”_

_“We’re just talking.” Jihoon answered. He told himself to give a rest and try again later when Soonyoung’s no longer agitated. “Give me.”_

_Jihoon joked as he tried to grabbed the orange that Soonyoung tried so hard in peeling. To his surprised, Soonyoung gave it to him without a fight. They stayed still even as a soft rain started falling. Jihoon watched as Soonyoung just silently watched the water as it softly hit the shore. He watched as Soonyoung tried his best to hide the pain, but Jihoon knew better._

_“Soons, I will work part time jobs if I have to.” Jihoon blurted no longer able to pretend that everything’s okay when it’s not._

_“Please Soons, I don’t want to leave you here.” Jihoon begged._

_“Maybe I don’t want to leave this place, have you ever thought of that?” Soonyoung asked not quite meeting Jihoon in the eye._

_“You don’t mean that.”_

_“Because of Dad? The beatings are less frequent now. Besides, mom needs me—“_

_Soonyoung tried to explain but Jihoon interrupted him._

_“No, be honest with me right now. Is it true then that you don’t want to go? Why is it that you don’t want to go? Tell me!” Jihoon was pissed at Soonyoung. He couldn’t help but think that maybe Soonyoung just didn’t want to be with him._

_“Ji, calm down. Of course, I want to. Believe me, I really want to. It’s just easier to let you go if I think this way. That’s all. Besides, what’s going to happen to mom? If I leave. I’m the only one she has.”_

_“My mom promised to look after her.” Jihoon answered. He moved closer to Soonyoung who still refused to look at him._

_“I can’t just keep depending on you and your family forever.”_

_“It’s called helping each other out. Soonie, are you really going to let me go?” Jihoon whispered, no longer able to stop the tears that seemed to have formed in his eyes without his consent._

_“W—what do you mean?” Soonyoung was startled when he saw Jihoon’s expression._

_“A—Aren’t you even going to miss me?” Jihoon sniffled startling Soonyoung._

_“Miss you? Of course I will Ji! Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I will miss you every day!” Soonyoung panicked when he saw Jihoon’s tears. It was always him who was crying, so a crying Jihoon was new to him. “Ji, you won’t even notice I’m not there. Seungcheol hyung goes to the same school. You’ll have lots of fun. I’m sure.”_

_“W—what? What does Choi Seungcheol have to do with this?” Jihoon asked, genuinly curious._

_“Well...”_

_“Say it Kwon Soonyoung.”_

_“Let’s just say I disappear when he’s around.” Soonyoung said. Jihoon never really paid attention to him whenever Seungcheol was around._

_“Are you jealous?” Jihoon asked._

_“No, I’m just stating facts. Ji, this is your time to lead your life the way you want to without you having to take care of me most of the time. You don’t need me to add to your burdens.” Soonyoung explained. He was startled when Jihoon suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders. He made Soonyoung face him._

_“First, Seungcheol hyung and I are just friends. We already established that even before he left for university. It felt like kissing a frog. Second, it’s my life so I choose how to spend it and if I fucking choose to spend it taking care of you or even watching cat videos, its none of your fucking business.” Jihoon snapped. He couldn’t believe that Soonyoung was choosing to focus on unnecessary things instead of focusing on the fact that they were going to be separated. “I’m sorry. I— you’re really just frustrating me right now!”_

_“Ji—“_

_“No! Stop obsessing over Seungcheol and listen to me. Go with me to college please?” Jihoon begged._

_“Why—“_

_Soonyoung was interrupted when Jihoon suddenly leaned over and harshly smacked his lips against Soonyoung’s._

_“Is that a reason enough for you?! Asshole.”_

_Jihoon snapped before leaving a bewildered Soonyoung alone on the blanket, with the discarded orange peels, and a bunch of uneaten food._

_The next morning, Jihoon found Soonyoung in the bus stop near the beach where buses for the city usually pass by. He was sleeping and shivering on the bench. He only had a small backpack with him and the jar filled with pennies that Jihoon used to give him. He brushed an errant hair on Soonyoung face, alerting the latter of his presence._

_“Hoonie?”_

_Jihoon’s heart ached. Soonyoung only ever called him that when he was feeling vulnerable and scared._

_“Hey... I’m here.”_

_“What if… I… What…” Soonyoung said as he sat up. He didn’t know if he could do it, live on his own. But he was willing to try anything for Jihoon. He promised himself he’ll work hard if it means he can stay with Jihoon._

_“Do you trust me?” Jihoon asked and pulled Soonyoung closer to him. He took off his coat and placed wrapped it around Soonyoung who was shivering. His cheek and nose were already red from the cold._

_“Yes.” Soonyoung answered._

_“Then don’t worry about a thing. It’s you and me against the world from now on.” Jihoon answered. He wrapped his arms around Soonyoung, holding him as tight as he could, promising himself that he will never let go no matter what._

_“Promise?”_

_“I promise. I love you, Kwon Soonyoung. It was always you. I was just too blind to see before, but I’m here now and I’m never going to let you go.”_

_Soonyoung teared up a little hearing the words that he longed for so long to hear._

_“I— I love you too.”_

_Jihoon leaned closer for a kiss but Soonyoung was trembling so much that he laughed and gave up._

_“Kiss later. Come closer, you’re shivering.” Jihoon said as he held Soonyoung closer to him. Life’s going to be hard, he knew, but it was okay, as long as Soonyoung was with him._

_“Oh, I almost forgot. I think you need to let me borrow your undies.” Soonyoung said._

_“What?”_

_“I was in a hurry. Like I only had a few minutes to sneak out of the house, so I grabbed what I could. I don’t have any undies.”_

_Jihoon laughed at Soonyoung’s silliness. He leaned his forehead against Soonyoung’s before saying:_

_“I love you so much. You can borrow as many as you want.”_

_Soonyoung smiled, and snuggled closer to Jihoon, feeling a lot safer and less scared._

End of ⚡️

**Soonyoung Old Post**

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**Seokmin / Joshua**

**Soonyoung / Israfil**

Soonyoung didn’t know why, or he knew why but he couldn’t admit it to himself. He couldn’t admit the disappointment that followed when Israfil left that second envelope. It was like a slap back to reality. Everything that Israfil did back in that room, was paid for. Everything he felt, was because it was part of the contract. The flowers and gifts were all given so he can get into his pants quicker. Everything was just a masquerade, that’s why they wear masks in the first place, to take on personas that are quite different from their own person.

He also couldn’t shake the feeling of how familiar Israfil to him and how completely he turned his world upside down. He told himself that it can never be and will never be the person he was thinking, because it just can’t be. He knew it would hurt more if he turns out to be right, so he pushed the thoughts away.

**Soonyoung / Israfil**

****

Soonyoung / Israfil (Jihoon)Soonyoung dropped his phone after he read the last message.

_It’s just coincidence, right? It really isn’t him, right?_

Soonyoung knew it wasn’t Jihoon. He’s Woozi now. He’s getting married. There was no way a person like him would waste his time with someone like Hoshi, someone who does everything for money. No matter how much he tried to sugarcoat everything, at the end of the day he knew what he was. He knew what he was worth. He lost himself the night he gave up himself for Jihoon. So, there was no way a person like Woozi would ever look at him ever.

He looked at the last text message and decided what to do. The last few days with the client had completely distorted his view of reality, and he needed to change that. So, he called the club manager to check if he had any requests for that night. There were several, and he only used to accept requests from two clients.

But he needed to wake up from the daydreams he foolishly concocted in his mind, so he did what he never did before, he accepted a request from a client who had been requesting him for a long time and he knew nothing of. He knew it was dangerous to so, but he needed a harsh wake up call to his reality. He prepared himself for the night ahead, telling himself that it is what he is and there was no use in lying to himself any longer.

**Soonyoung / Israfil (Jihoon)**

****

Soonyoung stared at Israfil’s last message. He didn’t know why but his heart was breaking again, and it was his fault all over again.

**JEONGHAN**

Jeonghan could feel Seungcheol’s arms wrapped around his waist. He could feel Seungcheol’s manhood graze against his naked bum. Seungcheol pulled him closer when he felt him stir. Then he remembered, he left Seungcheol. He left him when he saw the snap and the news. He left him when he found out of the betrayal not even a week into their break up. He then realized that whoever was holding him tight, is not Seungcheol.

“Ahhhh!!!” Jeonghan yelled as he scrambled away from the bed. “Who the fuck—“

He stopped when he realized who was the person he just pushed away. In front of him, looking devilishly sexy despite having just woken up was non other than Rowoon.

When he saw Rowoon’s eyes dipped downward, Jeonghan scrambled for something to cover himself when he couldn’t find one, he jumped back to the bad under the safety of the covers, with Rowoon laughing out loud at Jeonghan’s panic. Jeonghan was startled when Rowoon suddenly pulled him closer.

“Good morning angel.” Rowoon said as he left a kiss on Jeonghan’s cheeks.

** Jeonghan / Rowoon **

**JEONGHAN**

_Jeonghan rang the doorbell not quite sure of what to expect. He texted the number that Rowoon gave him, and he replied. He had been crying on the rooftop of their apartment building when he decided to just fuck it and forget Seungcheol. He didn’t want to think about him for another minute so he texted the number the Rowoon gave him. He just wanted to do something to hurt Seungcheol back, but mostly he wanted to forget about his pain, and feel wanted; and the best thing that he could do at the moment was to meet someone else. He was turning off his phone when the door opened._

_“Hey…” Jeonghan stood awkwardly at the door, not quite knowing what to do. He’d been in a relationship for 10 years and he’d only ever been with Seungcheol, so in reality he didn’t have much experience with one night stands or even dates. Rowoon must have noticed his hesitation because he suddenly offered a hand, which Jeonghan immediately took when he remembered how Seungcheol was kissing a girl._

_Rowoon guided him into a huge living room, with black leather seats. He then grabbed a bottle of wine and glasses, placing it on the coffee table in front of Jeonghan. He poured both of them wine, which Jeonghan took and drank in one shot._

_“Okay, slow down.” Rowoon said laughing as he poured Jeonghan another glass._

_“I’m sorry. I’m really nervous.” Jeonghan admitted, while Rowoon just sat beside him. “Okay I need something a little stronger than this.”_

_“Oh, I have brandy or scotch. Your choice.” Rowoon got up and headed to his mini bar._

_“I was thinking more of Soju?” Jeonghan said resting his arms on the back rest as he looked at Rowoon who laughed at his suggestion._

_“Okay, I don’t have that, but if you’re serious we can go to the nearby convenience store.”_

_Jeonghan didn’t know why he was hesitating, he was there for one thing only but he found himself looking for ways to delay that, so he agreed. Rowoon helped him with his coat before putting his. He then grabbed a another coat and couple of his own scarves before offering it to Jeonghan._

_“It’s cold out.” Rowoon said who just put the scars around Jeonghan’s neck when the latter didn’t accept it. Jeonghan knew he should stop thinking about Seungcheol but he found himself comparing him to Rowoon. Seungcheol used to be as sweet or even sweeter when they first started dating. They met on the first day of college and fell in love almost immediately. There was no time for Jeonghan to look at anyone else because Seungcheol already captured his heart. Even when he started modeling and being surrounded by good looking guys all the time, he never once strayed. Seungcheol was the only one for him, even until that moment when he broke his heart._

_“Do you have a preference?”_

_“Huh?” Jeonghan blushed when he realized that they arrived at the convenience store._

_“Flavor of soju?” Rowoon asked as he gestured for Jeonghan to take a seat on the table outside._

_“Strawberry?”_

_“Okay, be right back.” Rowoon said as he covered Jeonghan’s shoulder with his extra coat before leaving. Jeonghan watched as Rowoon go inside the convenience store before reaching for his phone. He contemplated turning it on, hoping that Seungcheol would have called or text but he stopped himself. He shouldn’t even be thinking about Seungcheol. He should be angry at him, but he found himself thinking that maybe it was his fault, maybe if he didn’t leave, this wouldn’t have happen at all; maybe if he was more patient or desirable then Seungcheol wouldn’t spend so much time working._

_“Here.” Rowoon offered him a shot glass an a couple of bottle of soju. He also took the liberty of buying several packs of chips and a bowl of ramen. “Spill.”_

_“W—what?”_

_“Tell me what’s bothering you, maybe it’ll make you feel better.”_

_“I’m sorry. Am i that obvious?”_

_“A little bit.” Rowoon smiled and there was something comforting about his smile that Jeonghan found himself telling him about Seungcheol and how he cheated on him, how much he misses him, and how much he just wants him to love him the way that he used to. He told Rowoon everything that was bothering him for the last few months, including the lack of attention and lack of sex including the fact that Seungcheol just don’t want him that way anymore. Rowoon just listened to him talk to the whole night, offering his opinion every now and then._

_After 6 bottles of soju, Jeonghan found himself back in the apartment, pushing Rowoon to his bed._

_“We don’t have to do anything.” Rowoon said, but Jeonghan already has his shirt and pants off, leaving on his boxers before lying in front of him._

_“Make me feel something, please.” Jeonghan whimpered looking at Rowoon with hazy eyes. Rowoon obliged. He removed his shirt and moved closer to Jeonghan, kneeling in between his legs, which he folded to move closer._

_“You’re beautiful.” Rowoon said as he reached for Jeonghan’s boxer pulling them down to reveal his lower half. Rowoon let his eyes wander all over Jeonghan’s body, just admiring how every part of him was perfect. He raised Jeonghan’s feet and started kissing the side Jeonghan’s ankle, his legs, until he reached his inner thighs when Jeonghan let out a soft sob startling him._

_Rowoon immediately stopped._

_“We don’t have to do anything.” Rowoon said, willing himself to stop touching the man before him who was looked ready to be ravished except for the visible tear stains on his cheeks._

_“No! I’m sorry. Remove your pants please. I can do this.” Jeonghan said as he sat up, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand. He was being stupid feeling guilty for a man who betrayed him. He watched as Rowoon obliged him and took off his pants and boxers. Jeonghan noticed that Rowoon was ripped and a little bit tan. His tanned skin made his muscles appear clearer. He was beautiful, but Jeonghan couldn’t feel any desire. There was only one person who he’d like in his bed, but he broke his heart._

_“Jeonghan, you’re drunk and in a bad state. Maybe we—“_

_“No! I want to do this!” Jeonghan insisted as he moved and straddled Rowoon, who immediately had his arms around the other boy. He could feel their manhood against each other, and the closeness was driving him mad. But Jeonghan’s eyes stopped him, so he stayed still while Jeonghan seemed to be determined for something to happen between them. Rowoon watched as Jeonghan hesitate before he rested both his arms on Rowoon’s shoulder, leaning closer for a kiss. Rowoon’s breath’s hitched at the ethereal being before him devastatingly beautiful but also despairingly heartbroken. He let Jeonghan’s kiss fall on his cheeks. Jeonghan’s eyes widened. He slowly removed himself from Rowoon’s lap. He was about to get off the bed when Rowoon stopped him._

_Rowoon laughed when Jeonghan pouted and whined, but immediately stopped when he realized just how crestfallen Jeonghan was. He pulled Jeonghan beside him._

_“Jeonghan, heaven and hell can attest just how much I want you. But I want to do this. I can’t stop thinking about you ever since that night at the club. You bewitched me with your eyes and you drove my desire over the edge. I almost went crazy just thinking that I encountered an angel but I lost my chance. Please forgive me, but I want to do this right.” Jeonghan’s eyes revealed just how much the rejection pained him and just how much Rowoon’s words relieved the humiliation. Jeonghan pouted a little making Rowoon laugh._

_“Angel, you’re making it really hard for me not to ravish you despite your state.” Rowoon whispered as he wrapped his arms around the naked Jeonghan who just snuggled closer into his arms._

_“What exactly is my state?” Jeonghan asked as he basked in Rowoon’s words, words that he needed to hear from Seungcheol but was hearing from another man, completely desirable and gorgeous._

_“Well, you’re confused, drunk, and devilishly beautiful.” Roowon pointed out as the brushed Jeonghan’s hair._

_“So, you’re not rejecting me because I’m me?”_

_“Jeonghan, I don’t think you realize what your effect in men is, specifically me.” Rowoon noticed Jeonghan tearing up a bit so he pulled the man closer to him. He knew what the other one was feeling. He could just give in and just give Jeonghan what he wanted, an assurance that someone wants him but he couldn’t. Rowoon found himself wanting something more than just a one night stand. “Jeonghan, listen to me. You’re beautiful, ethereal even, but that’s not your best quality.”_

_“It’s not?”_

_“Yes, I don’t know you very well. But from the stories you told me, I can tell just how much loving of a person you are and that’s your best quality. I can tell just how big your heart is. You talked about forgiveness even without waiting for this Seungcheol guy to actually ask forgiveness.”_

_“But aside from that?”_

_“Well, I think I told you you’re gorgeous and—“_

_“But do you want me?” Jeonghan asked._

_“Of course, I’d love to demonstrate just how much I want to devour you. I have this overwhelming desire to leave marks all over your body. You completely disarmed me from the moment I saw you, but I’m holding myself back in hopes that this won’t be the last time. I’m also hoping to actually do that when you can appreciate it as what it is rather than treating me as as a distraction.” Rowoon answered._

_Jeonghan felt guilty for using Rowoon when the man was nothing but a gentleman. The whole evening he didn’t rush him to have sex, instead listened to him and comforted him even. He also made him feel wanted which he hadn’t felt in a long time._

_“I’m sorry. I made you part of my mess.” Jeonghan whispered._

_“Don’t be. It’s okay. But you do owe me one.”_

_“I know.”_

_“Make it up to me by agreeing to dinner.”_

_“Dinner?”_

_“Yes, Jeonghan-ssi dinner like a date. Contrary to your beliefs, I also want to take you out to dinner. Well, I’d like eat you out, maybe on my dining table once of these days, but I also want to eat with you.”_

_Jeonghan blushed at what Rowoon said but nodded in assent. It was the least he could do in gratitude._

_“Sleep.”_

_Jeonghan surprised Rowoon when he moved closer to snuggle against Rowoon’s chest. He smiled when he felt Rowoon’s arm snaked around his waist as if it’s the natural place for his hands to be._

* * *

> *Jeonghan's Chapter
> 
> *https://privatter.net/p/7129483
> 
> *Link to one with explicit content/images
> 
> *It contains the same one above
> 
> *To access follow @sexysunhey

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**JIHOON**

Jihoon was a mess. He was at the office doing the work that Seungcheol left behind, but he wasn’t making any progress because all his thoughts were with Soonyoung. He was going insane with jealousy when he read Soonyoung’s last message. He couldn’t help it even though he knew from the beginning the kind of work that Hoshi does, but it was different now that he confirmed it was Soonyoung. He couldn’t take it. He threw the glass of water on the wall smashing the crystal glass and alerting Seungcheol’s secretary, who came to the room alarmed.

“Get out!” Jihoon yelled at the secretary who scrambled to get out. He shouldn’t let his anger get the best of him but he couldn’t help it. It’s Soonyoung and his first tendency was always to take care of him. He was shaking in anger just thinking about someone touching Soonyoung, his Soonyoung.

He grabbed his phone to call him and tell him that he was Jihoon but his phone buzzed with an incoming call.

_Nana._

He watched as Nana’s name appeared on his phone, urging and insisting for him to pick up, but he didn’t. He couldn’t at the moment. He was too angry. He didn’t know how to deal with her, especially after he let himself be swept away with his quest to find Soonyoung. He thought that if he find him, that he’ll be okay and that would be the end of it. He knew his feelings were still as it were before, and he was hoping he could finally let go of the past once he finds Soonyoung. But he found himself wanting to stay. The call from Nana was a huge wake up call.

He knew Nana would understand, because they settled it the first time they agreed to be in a relationship. She knew about him being a bisexual, and she accepted it. She said she’s willing to be a cover for Jihoon’s other leanings, as long as he stays clean and loyal to her. Nana would be pretty much accepting of his leanings, not that he ever tested it before.

He was sincere when he first entered their relationship, so he did everything to stay true and he was happy to some extent. He learned to put Soonyoung behind, or he tried his best. But now that Soonyoung was back, he didn’t know anymore. He wished everything would be simple. Soonyoung didn’t even have to explain why he left, Jihoon just wants him to stay with him again, love him again.

He sigh and grabbed his phone to call back his fiancé who was probably in Europe or New York, he wasn’t sure anymore. Maybe if he explained early then Nana wouldn’t be as angry as she would be if she finds out that he slept with Soonyoung and that he was having second thoughts about their whole relationship and the wedding. It’s better to be honest, he told himself. But the call went straight to voicemail. He promised to call again later.

He pushed his thoughts of Soonyoung aside and decided to go back to work.

**JEONGHAN**

Jeonghan watched as a half naked Rowoon, clad only in his boxers, ran around the kitchen trying to cook him breakfast. His morning was surprisingly pleasant, despite the fact that he just found out his boyfriend partied the night out and flirted with girls and maybe even more during the time when he was supposed to be coming after Jeonghan. He couldn’t believe that Seungcheol would hurt him that way.

He couldn’t believe that Seungcheol didn’t even try to tell him and he had to learn it from Seungkwan, who received it from a friend of a friend of the girl in the snap. Seungcheol was clearly drunk and intoxicated, and technically they were broken up; but Jeonghan just confirmed the fact that he really meant nothing to Seungcheol anymore. Words are just words anyway.

He didn’t realized he was tearing up and was broken from his thoughts when he felt Rowoon hugging him from behind. He didn’t know that Rowoon was this affectionate even to people whom he just met, but cuddling naked in bed had broken several barriers between them.

“Coffee?” Rowoon asked.

Jeonghan smiled and took the steaming mug of coffee from Rowoon, who moved away to continue cooking what seems to be hard boiled eggs and bacon. Jeonghan was shocked with the perfection of the bowl that Rowoon just presented him, it was a bowl of steel-cut oats with bacon, berries and soft-cooked egg, beside it was aspirin and water.

** Jeonghan Instagram Post **

** **

“Thank you. I didn’t know you’re this gracious of a host to your one night stands.” Jeonghan said as he grabbed a spoon to taste what Rowoon prepared. He found it delicious, making him smile. He couldn’t help but miss the feeling of someone fawning over him, making him breakfast, and even just talk to him.

“Well, technically, it’s only considered a one night stand when something actually happened. In our case, it’s just called snuggling. Naked but still snuggling.” Rowoon answered as he grabbed his own bowl and started eating.

“But I enjoyed it very much.” Rowoon continued winking at Jeonghan who blushed.

“I'm sorry about—“

“Making me your pillow as you cry about your ex?” Rowoon teased. Jeonghan laughed despite himself. Despite the short period of time, Jeonghan found out early on that the real Rowoon was not the hot flirt from the club, but a genuine and playful person who likes teasing him.

“Well, you’re a very good pillow.” Jeonghan answered not willing to be beaten with the teasings. He was actually enjoying the company, forgetting for a moment his pain.

“I’m also good in other things.” Rowoon said and gave Jeonghan a wink. Rowoon grew serious when he noticed Jeonghan sigh. “Look, I don’t know the whole story, but it’s better to talk it out with him.”

“I did and he betrayed me.”

“Well—“

“I’m sorry, can we not talk about him?” Jeonghan said. He was exhausted and he needed a day, just a day to not think about Seungcheol and how bad he makes him feel. When Rowoon did not answer, Jeonghan continued: “I just need a day to recharge. My mind right now is— I’m going to blow up any second and I feel like crap—“

“Hey, calm down.” Rowoon said as he moved towards Jeonghan. He wrapped his arms around Jeonghan who let him be engulf in the other boy’s warmth. “Have I told you that I’m a licensed massage therapist?”

“We’ve only just met.” Jeonghan said making Rowoon laugh again. Jeonghan loved hearing Rowoon laugh. He felt that it’s been a long time since someone laughed at one of his jokes.

“You’re right. Open.” Rowoon said as he took the aspirin from the table and placed it on Jeonghan’s tongue. He then reached for the glass of water and offered it the other boy. “Good boy, come on. Take a warm shower and put on a robe. I’ll wait for you here in the living room.”

“What exactly are you planning?” Jeonghan asked.

“Just go. I have a surprise for you.”

Jeonghan smiled and just went with the flow, he needed the distraction anyway.

** Seokmin Instagram Post **

** **

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** Kai / Joshua Conversation **

** **

**JIHOON**

Jihoon tried his best to keep Soonyoung off his mind, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t making much progress with work so he decided to take a break and maybe actually do something about the problem. He grabbed his phone and decided to call Mingyu.

** Jihoon / Mingyu **

** ⚪️ -  ** Jihoon

** 🔴 -  ** Mingyu

** **

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****

** Mingyu / Rowoon **

** ⚪️ -  ** Mingyu

** 🔴 -  ** Rowoon

** **

****

****

****

** Mingyu / Rowoon **

⚪️ - Jihoon

🔴 - Mingyu

** **

Jihoon found himself in front of Soonyoung’s rundown apartment. His was wrenchingly nervous but Soonyoung didn’t give him a choice. At the moment, his jealousy was what was fueling him to move. Just imagining that someone else what touching Soonyoung was making his blood boil. He knew that he didn’t have the right, and that Soonyoung would probably run away from him. He wasn’t even sure why he was there, Soonyoung was the one who left him. The last time they saw each other was five years ago, and a lot had changedsince then, but he was Soonyoung, his Soonyoung, there was nothing on earth that would stop him from ever caring. He was his, and only his.

He took the stairs to Hoshi’s floor two at a time, cursing for lack of a working elevator. Maybe once he revealed himself to Soonyoung he’d be allowed back into his life. He immediately found his unit. The door was surrounded by clutter probably from his neighbors. There was a rusty old bike, several dyings plants, and even a few dirty bottles of colas and soju. There were water stains all over the wall. The roof must have leaking water into the area. The paint was peeling off. Wear and tear was evident in every part of the hallway. Even Soonyoung’s door was old and looked like it’s going to fall off any moment. His heart ached looking around the place that Soonyoung was currently living in. He promised to take care of him and he failed.

He knocked a few times and when there was no answer he started calling out his name.

“Soonyoung! It’s me! Please open the door. Let’s talk. Please! Please let’s talk!” Jihoon yelled banging at the door.

He must have been making too much noise because a neighbor opened his door and gave him a dirty look.

“Dude, he left early this morning. Now, shut the fuck up and leave!”

“Please do you—“

“I don’t fucking care!”

Jihoon bowed in apology and walked away. He decided to wait by the car. He’d wait all day if he have to. He promised himself there was no way he was letting Soonyoung slip away from him again.

**JEONGHAN**

Jeonghan was surprised to see what Rowoon had set up in the living room. He appeared to have moved the coffee table and placed huge massage table on the center where it used to be. He had drawn the draped on the window, and dimmed the lights. A soft and calming music was playing lowly on the speakers. He also had one candle lit and several oils arranged on a separate table.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jeonghan said laughing as he allowed Rowoon to pull him towards the table. “Is this serious?”

“Of course I am.” Rowoon said as he held Jeonghan by the waist to help him on the table.

“May I?” Rowoon asked as he pulled on the string that was holding Jeonghan’s robe together, revealing that Jeonghan was wearing a white shirt and boxers.

“You know that you wouldn’t be needing this, right?” Rowoon said as he fingered to helm of Jeonghan’s shirt for consent. Jeonghan gulped and nodded. Rowoon pulled Jeonghan’s shirt up, revealing his upper body.

“I’ll let you keep the boxers, for now.” Rowoon winked.

Jeonghan nervously lie on his front, while Rowoon grabbed a towel and covered Jeonghan’s lower half. Rowoon grabbed a bottle of oil and rubbed his hands before pressing both his palms on Jeonghan’s lower back.

“Ahh...” Jeonghan moaned when his lower back was pressed. “Sorry...”

Rowoon laughed and continued pressing his palms on Jeonghan’s back in an upward direction, until he reached his shoulders. He poured more oil on his hands, and pressed his thumbs on Jeonghan’s shoulders.

“You’re so tensed, angel.”

“Hmmm...”

Rowoon noticed Jeonghan relaxing into the massage so he kept quiet. He moved his thumb in circular motion, targeting the tensed areas ofJeonghan’s shoulder. He then started rubbing Jeonghan’s neck, making the other hum in contentment as Rowooncontinued rubbing the kinks in his neck. Jeonghan smiled from the relief.

“Why are you smiling?” Rowoon asked as he watched Jeonghan’s face relax some more.

“It feels good. It feels great to be pampered.” Jeonghan honestly answered. He couldn’t remember the last time that somebody had taken care of him.

“Okay.” Rowoon answered as his hands moved downwards to Jeonghan’s lower back, repeating his earlier moved of pressing with his palms and going back to his shoulders. When he felt that Jeonghan’s back had enough, he moved to massaging his arms and hands.

“You have beautiful hands.” Rowoon whispered.

“Just hands?”

“Well, everything about you is beautiful.”

Jeonghan blushed from the compliment. His face heated some more when he felt Rowoon moved to his lower half. Rowoon started with his feet, using his thumbs to pressed on each of his soles, the oil feeling great on his skin. He slowly worked his way up to his legs, until he reach his thighs. Rowoon slowly moved upwards, making Jeonghan’s breath hitched every time Rowoon’s finger brushed his inner thighs.

He closed his eyes as he let himself be swept away by the feeling of Rowoon’s finger moving upwards and closer to his bum. He deflated when Rowoon changed direction and went back down to his ankle and up again, until he stopped.

He asked Jeonghan to flip and he did. Rowoon then started massaging Jeonghan’s head, pressing his thumb on his templed. He then let his hand travel down to his shoulders, repeating the motion again.

“All done.” Rowoon whispered as he grabbed a towel soaked in warm water and gave it to Jeonghan.

“That’s it?” Jeonghan asked.

“W-what do you mean?” Rowoon asked completely confused as he watched Jeonghan wipe the excess oil off his body.

“Well, I thought your massages offer extra services.”

Rowoon laughed at the statement. The entire time he was holding himself back, making sure that his hands doesn’t stray past what’s proper and Jeonghan was deliberately asking him for something more.

“Extra services?” Rowoon pretended to be confuse. He was startled when Jeonghan grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer in between his legs. He then snaked both his arms around Rowoon’s neck.

“A happy ending, maybe?”

Rowoon placed both his hand on Jeonghan’s waist. It would be easy for him to just lean in and kiss Jeonghan, but he stopped.

“Well, it does have that option. But at the moment it’s not available, I really just wanted to relieve you of your stress.”

“You don’t—“

“Jeonghan, I would love to fuck you six ways to Sunday, I swear. But to be honest, I find myself wanting something more. I’m afraid that if I give in you’ll disappear on me.” Rowoon said as he let go of Jeonghan.

“You’re a weird almost-one-night stand.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Oh by the way, Mingyu called me. He had the oddest request about one of my dancers.” Rowoon said wanting to change the subject.

“What about it?”

“I don’t know. He just wants to stop a dancer of mine from meeting I client.”

“Why?”

“I have to no idea.”

“Give me your phone.” Jeonghan said as he got off the massage table.

“W—what?”

“I just have a hunch that’s all. I don’t want to turn on my phone.” Jeonghan said as Rowoon gave him phone.

Rowoon watched as Jeonghan paced around the kitchen and stopped when he finished his conversation with Mingyu. Jeonghanwalked closer to him and grabbed his hand.

“No.” Rowoon knew what Jeonghan was asking.

“I haven’t said anything!”

“Still no.”

“I’ll do anything.”

“Okay, sleep with me.” Rowoon joked.

“Uhmm.. okay. That was what I’ve been trying to do the whole night!” Jeonghan insisted.

“No! I was just joking! I don’t want you just sleeping with me so you can have your way.”

“But—“

“Tell me why, then maybe I’ll help you.” Rowoon interrupted not quite believing that he was actually considering helping Jeonghan. Soonyoung would kill him, but he decided it was all worth it if he could somehow brighten Jeonghan’s day.

“He’s Soonyoung.”

“H—how did you know?” Rowoon was shocked that Jeonghan knew Hoshi’s first name. They tried so hard to keep the dancer’s identity a secret. It was for their own safety. He didn’t want clients stalking his dancers outside of the club.

“He’s Jihoon’s ex and love of his life. He’d been seeing him as a client trying to confirm that he’s Soonyoung and now he did. He’s going insane with jealousy. He’s afraid that if he reveals himself too soon that he’ll run away again. So, please, can’t you something?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Jihoon meaning Woozi, right? Mingyu told me.” Rowoon asked.

“Mingyu and his big mouth. Yeah, Jihoon is Woozi.”

“He’s getting married. Why is he going after Soonyoung again?”

“I don’t know the answer to that at the moment. But trust me when I say that Jihoon would not deliberately hurt Soonyoung. Please help.”

“You owe me.”

“I’ll sleep with you as many times as you want.”

Rowoon laughed and took a seat on the couch. Jeonghan followed him and sat on his lap, making Rowoon laugh harder.

“I’m not that kind of person, Jeonghan. Please stop making me into some kind of maniac.”

“I’m sorry. Soonyoung is one of my closest dongsaeng and Jihoon is— I was there when Soonyoung left. It wasn’t a good sight. But I know just how much they love each other. They’ve been together since they were four or five years old. So, please help me. I really owe you one.” Jeonghan said leaning his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Really?”

“I can’t make any promises okay? Soonyoung is hardheaded most of the time and contrary to everyone’s belief, I don’t have a say on who they meet. I just make sure they’re safe.”

“Just try, please.” Jeonghan begged.

“Why do I feel like I’ve been put under a spell?” Rowoon asked.

“Maybe because you have.”

Rowoon laughed.

“Okay, I’ll call Soonyoung."

“Thank you.”

Jeonghan leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

**SOONYOUNG**

Soonyoung decided to leave early. Everything in his apartment was suffocating him. He was in the cab when he received Rowoon’s call. It was surprising since Rowoon pretty much let them decide on whom to meet or not. He told him he’ll think about it, but he didn’t really. He really needed something to wake him up from his illusions, and he knew someone using him for sex is the answer.

He also needed to quell the hope that maybe there’s the tiniest speck of possibility that Israfil was Jihoon. A few feelings of familiarity and even a moan that sounded the same were not enough to convince himself, but why does his heart kept hoping?

He was on his way to the club since the client requested one of the private rooms. He decided to practice his routines before actually meeting the client. He needed the activity to get his mind off Israfil and Jihoon. He spent the rest of the morning just thinking of new routines for his set and private dances.

His thoughts went back to Israfil. He couldn’t believe he just cut off a client for no reason, a generous client that is. He didn’t know why the money irked him the wrong way. Of course Israfil will pay him, it’s his job. But it didn’t stop him from feeling bad. He grabbed his phone and was about to text Israfil and apologize when one of the bar managers told him that the client was already waiting.

He hurriedly took a shower and made his way to the private rooms. He put on his mask and went to the floor where the client was waiting. He nervously knocked on the door. For some reason, everything about the set up was making him nervous. He was an old client that had been making requests for a long time, but the way he spoke in the chats during his lives made his blood boil, so he never accepted his requests.

He went straight to the room that the client requested and nervously knocked on the door. The client was already on the bed with his robe hanging open. He gulped when he noticed that the client had already chose several items to use on him. He had chosen several dildos and vibrators, but he also had several harnesses, handcuffs, and whips; but what scared Hoshi was the anal hook that the client was already holding.

He should have asked for the client’s plan and preference before accepting the offer, but it was too late to back out. He told himself he could always press the buzzer that Rowoon had installed in all the rooms if it gets too much. He tried to convince himself that it was what he needed at the moment, but his hands shook when the client gestured for him to strip down.

“I waited for a long time for this, Hoshi-ah.” The client said as he threw Soonyoung a look that sent chills all over his body. “I have so much in store for you today. Are you ready?”

Soonyoung shivered at his nakedness. It was too late to back out he told himself.

_There’s a buzzer for your safety. The managers are just in their offices. He just needs to press the button if he had enough._

Soonyoung tried to reassure himself before he answered:

“Y-yes.”

**ROWOON**

Rowoon hurriedly entered his code to the club with Jeonghan behind him. Jeonghan insisted that they check on Soonyoung, so when Mingyu called them that Soonyoung was not home and Jihoon was getting ready to break down on Soonyoung’s door before going to the club, both of them started to worry.It wasn’t like him to be involve in too much drama, but he found himself assenting to Jeonghan’s plea. He knew shouldn’t let himself feel anything, he was just a rebound guy and anytime Jeonghan would break down when he finally loses his strength of holding himself together.

He knew Jeonghan would go back to Seungcheol once his anger dissipates.Normally, Rowoon would just seduce the person and then leave. But he found himself hesitating, for some reason, more than sex, he wanted to take Jeonghan out to dinner and even be there when he breaks down. There was something about him that was drawing him in. So, here he was, looking for Soonyoung who refused to listen to him.

They were walking toward the door when they heard Soonyoung sobbed. He panicked when he saw Jeonghan’s face drain of color and just burst to the door without knocking. He knew his club was going to pay the price for the breach of privacy, but hearing Soonyoung’s sobs and looking at Jeonghan’s face, made him panic.

It was a good thing that he did, because they found Soonyoung on his knees, clutching his arms , while his head rests on the floor, begging the client to stop while he used his belt to whip Soonyoung’s back.

“Yah!” Rowoon yelled and pushed the client away who staggered from the surprise. Jeonghan, on the other hand struggled to free Soonyoung from his position.

“Bring him to my office.” Rowoon said when Jeonghan finally released Soonyoung from his position and bindings.

“I’m sorry, Sir. But we don’t tolerate activities that hurts our dancers.” Rowoon said as he shook in anger.

“I didn’t fucking—“

“He was clutching his hand and begging you to stop!”

“I didn’t hear. I paid good money—“

“Then, I’ll be happy to refund you all your payments. You have to issue an apology to Hoshi. You’ll also be hearing from my lawyers.” Rowoon snapped. He knew he was being rash but he couldn’t and wouldn’t tolerate anyone who dares to hurt his precious dancers. They were not just dancers to him but his partners in making his dream club a reality, and most specially, they were his friends, especially Hoshi and Kai.

“It is within my—“

“No, it’s not. Your membership is revoked. Please see yourself out of the premises. I’ll send you your refund. Good day.” Rowoon said and walked out on the shocked client before he can give in to his anger and punch him.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

He ran towards his office worried about Soonyoung who by the looks of it was hurt.He found Jeonghan trying to help Soonyoung, who was still clutching his left arm, into some clothes.

“He dislocated his left shoulder.” Jeonghan said. “We need to bring him to the hospital.”

“Shit. I’m sorry Soonyoung. He shouldn’t have been accepted into the club.” Rowoon said. “Come on, I’ll bring you to the hospital.”

“He doesn’t want to go.” Jeonghan answered. Jeonghan looked at Soonyoung worriedly, who haven’t said a word since he entered the room. “Soons?”

“W—why are you here?” Soonyoung asked. Rowoon could see the fear in Soonyoung’s eyes, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of the client or because of Jeonghan, who was currently busy fussing over Soonyoung.

“I hardly think that’s—“ Jeonghan answered but he was interrupted when Soonyoung moved away.

“Why are you here!” Soonyoung yelled.

“Soonyoung, he’s here because of me. We’re —“ Rowoon tried to intervene.

“We’re seeing each other. I didn’t know you’re Hoshi. I just found out today. Please, I’ll bring to Shua if you want.” Jeonghan pleaded. Rowoon didn’t know why Jeonghan was lying, but he knew he couldn’t intervene. Jeonghan wasgenuinely worried.

“What about Seungcheol—“

“We broke up. Soons, nobody knows. I assure you I’m really shock at the moment, but we really need to bring you to the hospital. Please let us bring you to the hospital.”

Rowoon sigh in relief as Soonyoung finally agreed. It was only then that Rowoon finally saw the extent of Soonyoung’s injury. One if his eyes was a little bit swollen, there were bite marks on his shoulder, marks that are the beginning of bruises on his hips and arms, his back was littered with marks from the belt, and his shoulder was dislocated.

“Soons, I— shit. This is all my fault. There’s a buzzer in the rooms for this kinds of situation.” Rowoon said as he helped Soonyoung into his car with Jeonghan beside him.

“I— I couldn’t reach it. But I’m okay. This is nothing. He never really touched me. I think he was there to inflict pain rather than to fuck. I think I rather have the pain, than you know. Don’t worry about it Ru.” Soonyoung pleaded.

“I’m cancelling all services for a week.” Rowoon said as he maneuvered the car into the parking lot of the nearby hospital.

“No! You can’t! I need the money Ru.”

Rowoon knew Soonyoung really did need the money. He was paying his father’s debt, and needs to make monthly installment to this loan shark. But he also couldn’t risk the safety of his dancers. He needed to revamped the safety policies of the club and double check the members, especially the blue diamond members. He couldn’t risk his dancers getting hurt again.

“Look at you, you’re bruised all over. You need to heal. This is all my fault. Shit!” Rowoon yelled as he smacked his hands on the steering wheel.

“Calm down, Rowoon. Right now Soonie needs to be treated. Please. Let’s go.” Jeonghan said.

Rowoon finally snapped out of his anger. He took a couple of deep breaths to focus on the situation before him. He couldn’t believe one of his own was put in danger. He promised to fix everything and make sure that Soonyoung was going to be okay.

“Soons, I’m sorry.” Rowoon whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning  
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**JOSHUA**

Joshua nervously waited by the living room. He didn’t know whether to prepare food or drinks, so he prepared both. He bought fresh strawberries dipped in chocolate from a nearby cafe and also opened a bottle of demi sec sparkling wine . It was the first time he was meeting Kai after their initial meeting, and he was nervous, especially since the night promised a lot more than just dessert and wine. He wondered if it was something to be scared of, the idea of giving himself completely to someone, or maybe he should wait, or maybe even just do it with Seokmin who genuinely liked him. He remembered why he was doing it and told himself not to make use of Seokmin like that. He was one of those people who is genuinely kind and he doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment.

They went on a couple of dates already, as Joshua promised, and he was still waiting for the spark or the feeling of attraction. So, far it wasn’t going well in that department. Seokmin is sweet and makes him feel cared for. When he’s with him, he knows he can be real and he can freely be himself and relax; but he doesn’t make him feel hot. They lack passion, Joshua thought. Kai on the other hand makes him feel things, he awakens a need in him that he doesn’t quite understand. Kai is also sweet in his own way, but Joshua knew that all of it was part of the masquerade. He told himself to be wary of the limitations. Besides, that night was their last night together. His freebie and there was no way he can afford to pay to keep seeing him, he was just too much out of his price range.

He was startled from his reverie when his doorbell rang. He quickly jumped off his seat and immediately went to the door to open it revealing a freshly showered Kai in black hoodie and loose shorts. He didn’t even bother with the mask, having revealed his face during their first meeting. He didn’t quite understand the outfit choice because he was expecting something a lot more differently. Joshua blushed when he realized he was tad overdress for the occasion, wearing freshly ironed suit. 

“You look hot enough to eat.” Kai said giving Joshua one of his sexy smirks that never failed to make his knees go weak. Kai must have noticed Joshua’s trance because he walked inside slowly and gently pushed Joshua to the wall. He let his stuff fall to the ground before Joshua noticed his hands unbuttoning his coat, while he leaned closer to leave a peck on Joshua’s neck.

“S—strawberries. E—eat.” Joshua was mentally having a nervous breakdown. He was a doctor, he told himself over and over again but somehow having Kai near him smelling freshly of soap, his hair wet, and hoodie slightly opened revealing his well toned chest., was making his mind all gooey preventing him from forming one coherent sentence.

“Huh?” Kai asked, confusion evident on his face.

Joshua pushed Kai away from him startling the latter, and walked away almost bumping into the small console table where he usually leave his keys and wallet. Kai laughed at Joshua, who was startled when Kai suddenly took his hand and pulled him inside his own apartment. Kai must have noticed that Joshua set the table because he pulled him to the direction of the kitchen.

“Hmmm… strawberries?” Kai asked and Joshua just nodded, still in a daze. Kai took a seat and pulled Joshua to his lap. He grabbed one piece of strawberry and took a bite, before offering the piece of the remaining fruit to Joshua who was too weak to refuse. He felt Kai’s hand on his lower back, thumb just moving up and down, and the little touch alone was already driving him insane. Kai took a flute of sparkling wine and offered it to Joshua, who took a generous sip, spilling some on his jaw. He was about to wipe it off but Kai beat him to it with his tongue licking the trickling wine off his jaw.

“Relax.” Kai said, but how could he relax when he could feel Kai’s hand on his and his groin against his ass. His nearness was like a drug that was making him dizzy in want and need. He could feel an erection started to form because he was so aroused with the way Kaimunched on another strawberry and licked his fingers afterwards. Everything about the man was aphrodisiac for Joshua, and the more he could feel desire the more he became nervous and unsure of what to do.

“You’re nervous.” Kai said.

 _That’s an understatement._ Joshua felt his heart was going to burst any moment and Kai was not helping at all.

“I— K— I’m sorry.” Joshua stuttered.

“Why? Hmmm… will it make you feel better if I tell you my name?” Kai asked, Joshua didn’t know but it wouldn’t hurt to know so he nodded. “Call me Jongin and you my little dove?”

“J—Joshua. Is it not against the… well.. the—“

“Club rules?”

Joshua nodded while Kai took another drink of the wine while his other hand continued to loosely hold Joshua’s back.

“Well, it is. But I thought we can make our own rules.” Joshua nodded again. “Hmm.. are you really a man of few or is my presence affecting you that much?”

“T—the second one.”

“Okay,try to relax and listen. What is it that’s making you nervous?” Kai asked.

“I— don’t know.”

“Joshua, it’s just me. Tell me what it is that you want to do at this moment.” Kai demanded.

“T—touch you.” Joshua admitted. He wanted to know how Kai’s cock would feel on his hand. He unconsciously licked his lips thinking of having it in his mouth. Kai smiled, immediately getting what it was that Joshua wanted.

“I don’t think you should be shy with me after the video that you’ve just sent.” Kai said making Joshua blush. “It was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It was shame I wasn’t there myself. Should we watch it? Together?”

Joshua blushed even more at the suggestion. After he took the video, he edited it for a bit before sending it to Kai and never look at it again.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of you know?”

Kai surprised Joshua when he gestured for him to stand up and pulled him towards the living room. He then grabbed Joshua and asked for his phone.

“Why mine?” Joshua asked.

“I want to see. You cropped the good part out of the frame. I want to see your hands, I want to see your cum dripping all over your hands.”

Joshua almost choked in his own saliva. He was sweating hard when he connected his phone to his own television.

When everything was settled, Kai pulled Joshua beside him on the couch and press play. It was the same video that he sent but he played the unedited one. Joshua remained silent as he watch himself prepare for what he was about to do while Kai sat beside him with legs wide apart. Joshua gulped when he saw the outline of Kai’s cock easily visible with the sweatpants that he chose to wear. Then the room was suddenly filled with the fapping noise and little grunts as Joshua worked his hand over his own cock. Joshua couldn’t believe he pulled something like that, his chest muscles were weak with sweat and his abs were in full display. Joshua was blushing hard, watching himself jerk off beside Kai suddenly grabbed his hand and placed them on his groin where a tent had already formed.

“Joshua, please touch me.” Kai whispered as he guided Joshua’s hand up and down his clothe erection.

“Ahhh… Remember, anything from you, I will gladly accept. I want you to keep that in mind for tonight, I am yours, so throw away your inhibitions and be comfortable with me, touch me. I am yours for now, do what you want and then later you are mine to devour.”

Joshua’s hand shook at Kai’s declaration. If the other thought it would make him more relax, he was completely wrong, because the promised of later just made him even more tense.

“I— I don’t know what to do.”

“Whatever you want.” Kai said eyes no longer focused on the screen, but on Joshua’s hand on his groin. So, Joshua moved slowly at first. Just rubbing his hand over Kai’s erection outlined on his sweat pants. Kai let his head rest on the back of the couch and spread his legs even wider for Joshua, but Joshua had another idea. His hand found his way on the zipper of Kai’s hoodie, slowly pulling it downward revealing Kai’s hard rock abs. Kai let him take it off him and let himself be pushed by Joshua down to the carpeted floor, with back on the floor, knees bended and Joshua in between them. Joshua then let both his palm touch Kai’s chest, moving them downwards until he reached his groin where he let both hands glide on the his pelvic muscles while Kai moved his hips upward for even a little bit of contact as Joshua let his Joshua couldn’t believe how sumptuous Kai looked, half naked on the carpeted floor while his shorts hitched upward revealing his muscled thighs.

Joshua didn’t waist time in pulling Kai’s shorts off him. He smiled when he saw that Kai fulfilled his promise, of wearing the lacy underwear he promised to wear.

“T—thank you.” Joshua said as he leaned closer and let his tongue lick Kai’s dick over the underwear. He repeated the the motion, tongue licking from his crease all the way to the head of his cock, while Kai lifted his hips to respond to the touch.Joshua wanted to taste Kai so as much as he loved watching Kai in the lace underwear, he peeled off the underwear with Kai’s help before tracing the side of Kai’s cock with his tongue. Joshua felt Kai’s hand grab his hair as he sucked on the head of Kai’s dick. He experimented with just how much he could take Kai’s length into his mouth and almost gagged when it hit the back of his throat.

“Slowly. We don’t need to go there today.” Kai said as he traced his thumbed on Joshua’s lips. Joshua nodded in assent. Since it was their last night, he wanted so much to try it but he knew his limits. He continued bobbing his head and slowly taking Kai’s entirety deeper in every move. “I’m going to cum. Do you want it on your mouth?”

Joshua nodded. He went back to his interrupted activity when he felt Kai’s hands loosen on his hands, one hard suck had the dancer shivering through his orgasm.

“Ahhh…”

Joshua struggled to lick off all the cum, so sum of it had dripped down his jaw. He continued licking Kai’s dick, not quite having enough of it yet. When he felt his need curbed, he stopped and looked up. He met Kai’s eyes who was looking at him intently. He pulled him into a straddling position, while Kai pulled Joshua by the hair into a searing kiss. Joshua then felt Kai’s tongue on his jaw and chin as he licked his own cum off Joshua.

“That was—“

“Disappointing?” Joshua supplied. It was his first time, so it was the best he could do, he was about to explain again but Kai captured his lips again.

“You were wonderful.” Kai said voice lowering down as he said the words that gave Joshua chills: “It’s my turn.”

Joshua found himself stripped of all clothing and pushed to the bed on all fours. He moaned when he felt Kai’s tongue on his sac, then to his perineum until he found his way to his hole. Kai spread his cheeks apart as he let his tongue trace the rim of his hole, making Joshua squirm from the sensation. He moaned louder when he felt Kai’s tongue dart inside his hole while his other hand was slowly working on his dick. It was a new experience for Joshua whose only experience was limited to his own hand.

“Did you finger yourself earlier?” Kai as he poured lube all over Joshua’s hole and slowly inserted one finger inside, making Joshua tremble from the foreign invasion. “You did, didn’t you?”

“Y—yes, a little bit.”“You’re a little bit stretched out, but not enough.” Kai said. “Have you found your prostate?”

“N—no, I didn’t... Uhmm.. go deep..”

“You didn’t have to.” Kai’s next words made Joshua blushed all over. “Why don’t you stretch yourself for me while I watch?”

Joshua’s hand shook as fumbled to find his own hole while Kai pour more lube on his hole. He took a deep breath as he inserted one finger, blushing profusely at the knowledge that Kai was watching hi intently.

“Add another one.” Joshua struggled to comply with the order. He could feel his hole stretch but it was manageable, having fingered himself earlier with two fingers. But when Kai asked him to add the third finger, he stopped.

“I—I’m not sure I can.” Joshua said. He was surprised when Kai’s hand pulled his own hand out of him. He then flipped Joshua so his back was now resting on the bed.

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of you.” Kai said making Joshua moan loudly when he felt Kai’s mouth on the head of his cock while three fingers stretched his hole.

“Ahhh… W—what… That’s so…”

Kai hummed as he took Joshua’s dick into his mouth. He bobbed his head and easily accommodated Joshua’s cock into his throat.

“Oh my god… that feels so…AHHHH!!” Joshua suddenly yelled when Kai’s finger finally hit his prostate. Kai released his cock with a pop to say: “That my little dove is your prostate,” before taking Joshua’s cock into his mouth again.

Kai bobbed his head, his mouth travelling up and down Joshua’s length while his fingers continued to stretch out his hole.

“I’m cumming…” Joshua whispered as he felt the heat pool at his stomach take over his whole body, sending shocks of pleasure all over. His feet shook and his toes curls as he went through one of the mind blowing orgasms of his life. He was still panting when he noticed Kai wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Are you still okay?” Kai asked as he hovered over Joshua, who just nodded still out of breath and out of his mind from what just transpired. He then felt Kai leave a soft peck on his lips before he felt the head of Kai’s manhood poked at his entrance. He stiffened from the sting at first, since it was completely different from the three fingers he had in his ass earlier. But Kai distracted him by letting his hand travel all over his buddy, rubbing his nipple and abs.

“You have to relax.” Kai said as he moved his hips slowly, allowing Joshua to adjust to his size first. When he finally did, he felt Kai moving a little faster and thrusting deeper in to him. He shivered when Kai easily found his prostate again. Joshua could feel Kai holding himself back from thrusting too hard, and he was thankful. He didn’t know if his body could take it, but he also wanted more.

“K—kai…”

“Call me by my name.” Kai said as he gently thrust in Joshua and leaned over so his face is against his. He found himself being kissed senseless before Kai released him again. “Say my name Joshua.”

“Jongin…”

That was all the word that Kai needed before he picked up the speed of his thrusts, making Joshua moan louder. Joshua tried to touch his own cock but Kai swatted it way and replaced it with his own. He stroked Joshua’s cock in time with his thrusts. Joshua felt the pleasure spread through out his body as he arched his back and eyes rolled as he felt the sensation from his feet spreading all over his body.

“Ahhh…” Joshua moaned as he released his load for the second time that night on Kai’s hand.

Kai on the other hand needed a few more thrust before Joshua felt wetness inside him as Kai released his load. He fell on top of Joshua, both of them still on panting as they slowly went back down from the high of their orgasms. When their breathing was back to normal, Kai took his cock out of Joshua and moved off him.

Joshua’s heart constricted a bit. It was the end. It felt great, but all good things must come to an end. He found himself not wanting to let go just yet, but he had to.

“Are you okay?” Joshua heard Kai who was finally calm enough to ask the question.

“Yeah.” Joshua’s stomach dropped when he felt Kai leave the bed. He stopped himself from feeling disappointed. Kai already finished the job that he was paid for, there was no reason for him to stay. But he was surprised when he felt the bed dip again while Kai pushed his legs up and a warm towel on his aching hole. He was surprised even further when he felt Kai pulled him closer and snaked his arms around him.

“Shouldn’t you be leaving?” Joshua asked. Kai stiffened at the question but he recovered quickly and started to move away. Joshua decided to be brave and held on the Kai. “I’m sorry. I just— I thought—“

“Hmmm… do you want me to stay or leave?”

“I-- I want you to want to stay.” Joshua whispered, making Kai smile. He was surprised when Kai captured his lips again in a kiss. Joshua’s mind was in overdrive, not quite understanding what’s happening.

“I want to stay.” Kai whispered in between kisses. “If it’s okay with you, I want to stay.”

* * *

> *Joshua's Chapter
> 
> *https://privatter.net/p/7138889
> 
> *Link to one with explicit content/images
> 
> *It contains the same one above
> 
> *To access follow @sexysunhey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


	23. Chapter 23

**SOONYOUNG**

Soonyoung was exhausted and in pain. He suffered several bruises and some in long red stripes at his back from the belt that the client used. On the bright side, his dislocated shoulder was right back in place, but he was advised to take it slowly for a couple of days. Jeonghan insisted on driving him home and staying with him, but he declined. He knew he hurt Jeonghan when he said that he was uncomfortable with him. All he really wanted was to rush to his hyung for his familiar embrace, but he stopped himself. He needed to stop himself from thinking about the past, but it wasn’t his world anymore.

He knelt by the bed and grabbed the box where he keeps his savings. He just sent a month’s payment and needed to make another payment in two weeks time. He opened the box and counted the money he saved so far, but he was short. It was barely enough to cover even half of the money he needed for the payment. He wanted to talk to Rowoon again but he knew the latter was right. He was all bruised up, and no amount of make-up would be enough to cover all his injuries. He took another box from the under the bed where he kept all of the client’s gifts. He browsed through the stuff trying to decide which one to pawn or to sell, hoping that he could at least get enough money.

He sigh and decided to listen to Woozi’s song to keep himself from thinking about his current problems. He listened to his voice, missing him so much, until he fell asleep on the floor.

He woke up the next day when someone kept knocking outside the door. He almost fainted when he saw that someone sent him several baskets of flowers, all arranged to perfection. He asked the delivery man to get them inside his apartment. He laughed when he realized he barely had enough room to move with all the flowers around him. He collected all the cards and smiled when he realized who it was from. His heart flipped reading the sweet nothings and apologies written on several cards.

**JIHOON**

Jihoon was fuming. Jeonghan called him that morning and told him about what happened to Soonyoung. He wasn’t able to calm himself down the whole night so he decided to stay in the office with Mingyu who physically kept him in the office, trying to stop him from running to Soonyoung. He grabbed his phone again and decided to text him, hoping that Soonyoung would reply after sending several baskets of flowers. He was hoping it’d annoy Soonyoung enough to reply.

** Jihoon / Soonyoung **

****

****

Jihoon took a deep breath to calm himself down. He knew why Soonyoung was refusing to see him. He was currently covered bruises, Jeonghan told him as much. He shook in anger just thinking about it. He wanted to go checked on him personally but Mingyu stopped him, saying that it’s an invasion of privacy and downright stalking if he does. Plus, it would also violate Soonyoung’s trust who gave him his address trusting him enough not to violate his privacy.

He stopped himself from thinking about Soonyoung again and decided to call Nana again, but his calls went straight to voice call. He wanted to talk to her as soon as possible and explain. He already made up his mind from the moment saw Soonyoung’s face again. All the pain when Soonyoung left, vanished. There wasn’t even a need to ask for forgiveness because he already forgave him. There wasn’t a single doubt in his mind of what he wanted. For his Soonyoung, he was willing to risk everything.

**SOONYOUNG**

Soonyoung stood in front of the mirror and examined his injuries. When Israfil asked him for the date, he wanted so much to say yes. There was this lingering feeling of uncertainty that was bothering him. He told himself that he already quenched his doubt as to Israfil’s identity but the more he thought about it, the more he felt uncertain. He was torn between the past that he tried so hard to run away from and the present that was making him wish for something more in his life.

He took his phone but hesitated again when he caught his appearance in the mirror. He was all bruised up. But he decided to do it anyway.

** Soonyoung/Jihoon **

****


	24. Chapter 24

**SEUNGCHEOL**

Seungcheol woke up with a headache. He had another drinking session with friends, but this time he made sure it was just with friends. He couldn’t believe he got too drunk to do the things he did in the snap. He knows for certain that there was only one person that he wanted and will want in this lifetime, and it’s Jeonghan. 

His life was spiraling down and he didn’t know what to do to stop it. He didn’t know what pushed him to treat Jeonghan sa badly when he promised from the very beginning that he would never hurt him. 

It was love at first sight for him. It was the first day of college, and he was in this huge auditorium with students from different departments. He was seated with the other Business Administration students, listening to their banter, when a long-hair Jeonghan came in. Seungcheol thought it only happened in the movies, but it was happening to him in real life. 

**Flashback**

_Everything around him was muted and blurred, except for the long hair boy who was making his to his batchmates. For one compelling reason, Seungcheol found himself walking towards Jeonghan and blocking his way. Jeonghan smiled questioningly at him and Seungcheol knew right then and there, his heart is forfeited to Jeonghan for the rest of his life. So, he did what any normal boy would do the situtation, he asked Jeonghan to marry him._

_“W—Will you marry me?” Seungcheol asked looking straight into Jeonghan’s eyes.He was even more beautiful up close._

_“Shouldn’t you ask for my name first?” Jeonghan asked, laughing loudly while the rest of the school cheered them on._

_Ever since that the day, Seungcheol spent more time following Jeonghan around, making sure that he knows how much he’s in love with him, until the day he finally wear Jeonghan down, who finally admitted that he also loved him._

**End of ⚡️**

Seungcheol suddenly stood up. He just needed to prove himself to Jeonghan again. He just needed to wear him out and make him realize that he was just stupid, that he just forgot for a moment, but he was still very much in love with him. He took a shower, put on the firts decent clothing he had all week, took his keys, grabbed a bouquet of red roses from a nearby flower shop and drove to Mingyu’s where Jeonghan was currently staying. 

Mingyu’s house was huge. He had to ring the bell a couple of times before a groggy Mingyu opened the door for him.

“Where’s Hannie?” Seungcheol asked, but he didn’t have to wait for Mingyu’s answer. 

He lost his gripped on the flowers when he saw a car pull up on the drive way. A tall and handsome man got off the driver seat and opened the door for Jeonghan, who was in huge clothes that he must have borrowed from the other guy and was looking refreshed for the first time in months. Seungcheol’s hand clenched by his side as he watched Jeonghan laughed at something that the man said. It took all of him to stop from going straight to them and demand an explanation, he knew he lost his right. 

They said their goodbyes, before Jeonghan finally back to the house, ignoring Seungcheol who was still by the door, totally shocked with what just happened.   
Seungcheol watched as the man who once loved him walked away from him without so much of a glance. It was then that he realized in desperation and despair that he lost him. He already lost him. 

“H—hyung? Do you want to come in first?” Mingyu asked, but he could no longer hear him amidst the loud sound of his heart breaking and his life completely shattering. He slowly walked back to his car, where he held himself with both arms as he broke down in uncontrollable sobs for losing the man who meant the world to him. 

**JEONGHAN**

Jeonghan woke up in Rowoon’s arms again, but this time he was fully clothe. He was covered from head to toe with Rowoon’s clothes. The past few days were somewhat easier and hard at the same time. It was easier to forget the pain when Rowoon had been filling his days with various things. He forgot about his heartache and the man who caused it. Jeonghan spent the week with Rowoon just eating out or watching a movie. Rowoon would pick him up from Mingyu’s place and they’d spend the day traversing around the city for things to do. Rowoon even brought him to a laser tag arena where they jointly enjoyed destroying a bunch of eleven-year olds.

But everything changed when he came home that day and saw Seungcheol for the first time in a week. Seungcheol’s hopeful face turning into one of devastation almost drove Jeonghan to run to him. Despite everything, even the betrayal, his heart is still trapped in Seungcheol’s embrace. Jeonghan knew that, despite seemingly happy for the past few days, his heart still yearns for his home, for Seungcheol. Rowoon was sweet, but Seungcheol was the love of his life. How could he think that a few sweet moments with Rowoon would be enough to erase the 10 years of happiness with Seungcheol?

He snapped out of his thoughts and plastered a huge smile on his face as he said his goodbyes to Rowoon, conscious that Seungcheol was watching. He forced himself to laugh at an inside joke that Rowoon said. Rowoon took his hand and gave it a soft reassuring squeeze. Jeonghan could see in Rowoon’s eyes that he knew, he knew just how much Jeonghan was struggling to keep himself together.

He walked towards the house and managed to catch a glimpse of Seungcheol again and the bouquet of flowers on the floor, but he forced himself to look away. He was afraid that the walls he painstakingly put up would crumble, just with one word from Seungcheol. He stifled a sob when he felt his warmth as he walked past him into Mingyu’s house where he immediately ran to the guest room. He hurriedly shut the door just in time for his knees to give out and his chest to be wrecked with uncontrollable sobs.

_Seungcheol. Cheollie, why is it that no matter how much you hurt me, I still can’t find it in my heart to hate you?_

He heard Mingyu knocked on his door but he ignored it.

“Hyung?” Mingyu asked by the door. “He drove away, hyung. I picked up the flowers he left. I’ll leave it here outside the door. I’ll be in my room if you need me, okay?”

Jeonghan listened as the sound of Mingyu’s footstep grew quieter as he walked away from his door. Jeonghan slowly opened his door and teared up again when he saw the flowers. Seungcheol always gave him flowers, even before they got together, Seungcheol would always leave flowers outside the door of his dorm room. He would wake up and get ready for class, and when he open the door to their dorm room, a hand picked flower would always be waiting outside his door.

They were usually flowers that he picked out from the school gardens, but Jeonghan didn’t care, it made his heart flutter. He got his first bouquet of flowers when they finally got together. Seungcheol admitted to having skipped several meals just to be able to afford the expensive bouquet, and apologized for the meager dinner of convenient store food. But Jeonghan didn’t mind, Seungcheol’s presence was more than enough.

Ever since then, Seungcheol never missed a day in leaving Jeonghan flowers. Even after graduation and they finally moved in together, Seungcheol still left him a flower a day. Jeonghan used to wonder how Seungcheol manages to buy a single flower to leave by his pillow every single day. He laughed out loud remembering how he found the bucket of flowers in the storage. He buys them in advance and wakes up early in the morning to pick one from the bunch.

Those were happier times, eventually life got in the way, Seungcheol got busier with work, especially when Jihoon decided to build his own company and recruiting Seungcheol to be its CEO. Jeonghan also became busier with work. The busier Seungcheol got, the less frequent the flowers came, until it completely disappeared into oblivion. Jeonghan was okay with it. They were just flowers, he thought.

But now looking back, maybe their relationship was slowly crumbling even before the three months prior to their break up, when Seungcheol just completely buried himself in work. Maybe their break up was inevitable.

Jeonghan took the flowers into his room, where he grabbed one of Mingyu’s display vases and filled it with water before placing the flower in them. He placed them near the window of his room, and spent the rest of the day just staring at it, the last flowers from Seungcheol, the last one before he finally lets him go, or can he let him go? He asked himself.

Jeonghan woke up in the middle of the night and grabbed his phone. It took a while for the person he called to aswer.

“I—I need you.” Jeonghan whispered when the person answered.

**SEOKMIN** ****

Seokmin was a bunched of nerves while he wait for the show to start. He spent the rest of the week bringing lunches to Joshua, and even picking him up after work if his time permits. He was busy with his musical but he made sure to make time for Joshua. Sometimes he thinks he’s overwhelming Joshua with his presence and even to the point of being pushy, but he couldn’t help it. He also didn’t know what to do and how to prove his love for Joshua, so he tried to show it through effort.

It was the only thing that he had at the moment, especially since Joshua admitted that he only saw him as a friend. He wished he could magically make Joshua see him as a man rather than a dongsaeng that he dotes on. He knew there was no way he could compete with other men who might be in Joshua’s life who are more mature and probably more manly, definitely not younger brother material as evidenced by the sexy video that Joshua probably sent to him whoever he is.

He looked at himself on the mirror, and checked if his make up was okay. He was playing Arthur in the play, his first lead role, and he was very nervous. His friend promised to watch on opening night, but he understood if some were absent due to the unfortunate events in their love life.

So far, the only ones present were the Seungkwan, Vernon, Dino, Minghao, Jun, Mingyu who brought Eunwoo, Jeonghan who surprisingly brought Rowoon, Jihoon and Joshua. His heart jumped when he saw Joshua among the crowd. He was surprised that Jihoon even made it that evening, having been busy with so much stuff ever since Seungcheol decided to file a leave of absence.

The show was about to start,so he hurriedly went to prepare himself. His heart was jumped in joy when after the show, his friends all came up to him to offer their congratulations and even more when Joshua gave him the bouquet of flowers that he personally picked up. He stopped himself from commenting on the recent addition to the group, which was most probably the reason why his CEO was currently missing. It wasn’t his place to say, he told himself.

“Thanks hyung! They’re beautiful!” Seokmin said as he took the flowers. The rest of their friends said their quick goodbyes before trying to be subtle in giving them space. “Hyung, you’re still going with me to the party right?”

“Oh, yes, of course. I promised, didn’t I?” Joshua said. Seokmin was elated. He was excited for his theater friends to meet Joshua.

The party was okay. Seokmin tried his best to keep Joshua entertained, and he felt that Joshua was trying his best to appear interested. But Seokmin could see it in the way that Joshua would sometimes stay silent in the middle of the conversation, or the way his shoulders drooped. He knew his date was exhausted, so he excused himself from the party.

“Hyung, I’m tired. Do you want to go home?” Seokmin asked. Joshua tried his best to school his expression to one other than relief, but he failed.

“I’m sorry Seokmin-ah, I know I promised to be your date but I’m really exhausted.”

“Don’t worry about it. Come on I’ll take you home.”

Joshua refused at first, but Seokmin insisted. He also told Joshua that he was also too exhausted to stay, so the latter agreed. When they arrived at the apartment, Seokmin insisted on walking Joshua to his door since he had a huge bag with him, a change of clothes that he usually leave at the hospital.

They’ve been friends for years, even to the point that he knew Joshua’s apartment like the back of his hand, he even knew the passcode to the door, but it was the first time that Seokmin felt really nervous walking through the familiar hall way. Joshua led the way to the apartment with Seokmin behind him carrying his laundry, which he placed in the entry way.

“Hyung?” 

“What is it?” Joshua asked noticing that Seokmin was quiet the entire ride from the theater, it was unlike him to be silent. He usually try to fill awkward silences with meaningless chatter, but that night he was too nervous to do so.

He took a deep breath and placed his phone and car key on the console table in the entry way. He surprised himself when he suddenly moved closer to Joshua who took a step back, and softly hit the wall behind him. Seokmin took a deep breath before leaning in closer, and soft brushing his lips against Joshua, who stayed still.

Seokmin mistook Joshua’s lack of action as a sign to proceed so he let his hand rest on Joshua’s waist and pressed his body against him while he allowed his lips to move against Joshua’s. When Joshua gasp from the sudden change of pace, Seokmin allowed his tongue to invade Joshua’s mouth. He let his thigh grazed against Joshua’s groin, and that was when he felt it, the gentle push. He stopped immediately, blushing hard, and couldn’t look Joshua straight in the eye.

“I’m sorry, Hyung. I have to go.”

“Wait—“

But Seokmin didn’t wait, he needed to get away as soon as possible. He thought he was on the right track, but the gentle push from Joshua was like a splash of cold water, waking him up from his day dreams. He regretted the kiss, not knowing how to face Joshua ever again, after just running out on him without letting him to explain even for a bit.

_Shit._

Seokmin cursed when he realized he left his phone and keys in Joshua’s apartment. He dreaded going back, not quite knowing how to face Joshua after just having ran out on him. He decided to just sneak in and avoid Joshua as much as possible. He told himself to wait until Joshua falls asleep and sneak in to grab his keys.

He took a sit by the lobby as he waited for time to past, watching residents go in and out. He took a deep breath and decided to just close his eyes for a minute. He woke up an hour and half late when he felt someone shaking him. It was the guard. He must have fallen asleep longer than he intended. He apologized to the guard and immediately took the elevator to Joshua’s apartment. He prayed to all the saints that Joshua was already sleeping, but readied an excuse just in case Joshua catches him.

He entered the passcode to the door, mentally hoping that the beeping sound was not loud enough for Joshua to hear. To his relief, the apartment was already dark, except for the soft light coming from Joshua room which was left ajar for some reason. He was about to grab his keys when he was startled by a crying sound coming from Joshua’s room. He knew he shouldn’t have but some unseen force was compelling him to walk towards the door.

He could hear the sound more clearly, as he walked closer to Joshua’s room, they weren’t cries of pain but more like moans. By the time Seokmin realized what he was hearing, it was already too late. He could already see. Joshua’s back was turned against him, he was on top of someone naked who was thrusting his hips against Joshua who was holding on to the guy’s shoulder. For a second, he was rooted in place, until he heard Joshua call out a name.

“Jong-in…”

The name brought him back from his shock.

He quietly walked away, not quite believing what he just saw. He went to the emergency exit where he tried to calm himself down, but he couldn’t. He covered his mouth to silence the sobs he couldn’t control. He knew Joshua didn’t quite feel the same way for him, seeing him more of a friend and younger brother than a potential boyfriend, he just didn’t know it would hurt as much as he did confirming such thoughts.

He didn’t know how hurt it would feel seeing Joshua being intimate with another person. It was his first heart break, and it was from the person he least expected to break his heart.

**🔞**

**JOSHUA**

He could hear Kai’s heartbeat clearly as he lie on top of the boy after just having cum for the third time that night. He was exhausted, sweaty, and sticky. He wanted a shower, but he was too comfortable to move. The up and down movement of Kai’s chest as he breathe was also lulling him to sleep, and the way that Kai was softly rubbing his back with his hand was not helping.

**Flashback**

_He just finished taking a shower when he heard his door bell rang. He found Kai smiling apologetically as he let himself in Joshua’s apartment with hands immediately going to opening Joshua’s robe, revealing his nakedness. Joshua didn’t even bother to act shy as he felt himself being pushed to the wall as Kai pressed himself against his Joshua. Joshua shivered when Kai nuzzled his nose into Joshua’s neck, whispering something that Joshua couldn’t quite hear. Kai left one last kiss on his neck before he moved to covering Joshua’s lips with his, his hand gently caressing his face. Joshua opened his mouth to welcome Kai’s invading tongue. His moaned were muffled by Kai’s mouth, as he felt the other boy’s hand on his manhood. He was startled when Kai released him from the kiss and struggled for something in his pocket._

_Joshua laughed when he realized that it was a sachet of lube, which Kai ripped off and poured all over Joshua’s cock. He then silently used his clean hand to take out his cock from his pants. Shua shivered when he felt Kai hold his cock against his. It was a new sensation for Joshua, having a cock rubbed against his. Kai continued jerking themselves off with one hand, while he sucked on a particular spot on Joshua’s neck, determined to leave a mark._

_The feeling of Kai’s cock against his and his tongue lapping off his neck drove him to the edge. He released his load on Kai’s hand, while Kai needed a few more strokes before he came._

_“I’m sorry.” Kai whispered when they finally stopped panting, Joshua just raised his eyebrow in question. “I’m sorry for just coming here without texting.”_

_Joshua laughed at Kai’s expression. He was finding out Kai’s different sides everytime they meet. He wasn’t only oozing in sex appeal, but he was also gentle and cute when he’s being Jong-in rather than Kai, the hot dancer of Rendezvous._

_“It’s okay. Uhmm.. do you want to go wash your hand?” Joshua asked. After their second night together, he found it easier to talk to Kai, especially after having woken up in his arms and sharing an awkward breakfast which ended with Joshua being eaten out and fucked on the kitchen counter, which definitely made things less awkward between them._

_“If you think I’m done with you, then you’re mistaken.” Kai smirked, making Joshua yelp when he suddenly carried him over his shoulder, while he walked towards the bedroom where he dumped Joshua unceremoniously on the bed._

_“Yah—“_

_Kai captured his lips again before he could say anything. The spent the rest of the night making each other moan, until they their voices was hoarse._

The silence in the room was broken by Kai’s words.

“Don’t fall asleep.” Kai said.

“Hmmm?”

“We need a bath.”

“T—tomorrow.” Joshua pleaded.

“No, tonight. Come on, you big baby.” Kai said as he sat up and easily got off the bed with Joshua still clinging to him. They showered quickly, making sure to cover all the bases before Kai dried them off with the towel. He pulled Joshua out of the bathroom and made him sit on the bean bag in the room.

He asked Joshua where his sheets were before he grabbed some from the closet and quickly replaced Joshua’s beddings while the latter watched amused as a naked hot man changed his sheets. When Kai was done, he want back and carried Joshua back to bed, making sure to cover his nakedness with the blanket.

“Shouldn’t we put on some clothes?” Joshua asked.

“No, I like feeling you skin against mine.”

“Hmmm.. okay.” Joshua answered. He fidgeted and moved around, no longer feeling sleepy. The bath had driven away the drowsiness. Kai wrapped his arms around Joshua’s waist and spooned him.

“Stop moving around. I thought you were sleepy.”

“I—I was.” Joshua answered. “The bath woke me up.”

Kai laughed. Joshua loved Kai’s laugh, he found himself looking forward to it. More than the sex itself, he was discovering more things about the guy that he really like, like how he can be sexy in one second and do complete one eighty and become adorably cute.

He also found Kai’s voice hot, but soothing at the same time. He liked the way he was gentle with him when they make love fuck. He loved the way Kai was able to make him comfortable and confident in the bedroom.

_Shit._ Joshua just realized where his thought were leading him and he stopped. He didn’t want to go there. He wasn’t sure he was ready to like someone unattainable again, because surely Kai was only after him for the sex and nothing more. He was finally getting over Seungcheol, whose presence became less and less in Joshua’s thoughts. He didn’t want to like another guy only to ended up in the same situation that he was trying to avoid in the first place.

Joshua was startled when Kai suddenly stood up and grabbed several clothing from his bag. He also gestured for Joshua to do the same, so Joshua hurriedly put on some clothes. When they were both dressed and decent, Kai held out his hand to Joshua who excitedly took it.

“Come on.” Kai grabbed a couple of coats and scarves from Joshua’s closet and handed it to the younger.

“Where are we going?” Joshua asked. “Do we need a car? I have mine downstairs but I don’t really use it.”

“No, it’s okay. I brought mine. But why don’t you use your car?”

“Well, my work leaves me exhausted most of the time, so it’s safer for me to get a cab than fall asleep behind the wheel.”Joshua admitted.

“That’s wise.” Kai said and took Joshua’s hand as he guided him outside of his building, towards the visitor’s parking lot. Joshua was surprised when Kai revealed his car to him. It was a 1953–56 Porsche Speedster in silver. Kai made Joshua put on the coat and wrapped his scarf around his neck before opening the door for Joshua. He then went to the driver’s seat. “Ready?”

“Yes!” Joshua yelled a little more loudly than making Kai laugh. Kai’s excitement was contagious. Kai slowly drove out of the parking lot, while the top of the convertible started folding. Kai slowly drove around and Joshua never felt more relaxed, with the wind softly hitting his face, while Kai’s hand found its way to his. They exchanged smiles as Kai intertwined their fingers. They drove around the area until Joshua broke into a yawn, making Kai break into laugher again.

Joshua woke up in the parking lot, with the top already down and Kai getting ready to piggyback him back to his apartment.

“I can walk.”

“I know, but hop on anyways.” Kai offered, so Joshua relented. He carried him on his back until they were back in his room, where he gently removed all of Joshua’s clothing and tucked him under the covers. He joined him after doing the same.

Joshua felt Kai’s arms snaked around him as he pulled him closer to him, with his back against Kai’s chest, spooning him.

“Good night, Joshua.” Joshua heard Kai whisper as he kissed his temple before falling asleep.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔞 - Explicit Content  
> ⛔️ - Stop Reading/Trigger Warning   
> 🔵 - Safe to Read

**Soonyoung Post**

**SOONYOUNG**

Soonyoung found himself at the back of the theater where Seokmin’s play was going to be performed. It had been his habit to support his friends in any way he can. He bought Chan’s group’s Galaxy album. He bought all the versions and even went to the fansign, but he asked some other fan to get the sign for him. He made sure to watch all of Seungkwan’s variety shows. He watched all of Jun’s movies and then he’d spend the entire night talking with Wonwoo on video call about it.

He bought Jeonghan’s magazine covers and liked all of his instagram posts using his private account. He even bought a couple of shirts from Minghao’s fashion line. He did everything he could to support his friends from afar. So, there he was on a Friday night before he had to meet Israfil later that night, watching Seokmin’s play. He also prepared a bouquet of flowers he planned on leaving for Seokmin anonymously.

The play went great. Seokmin was incredible. Soonyoung was happy that he finally achieved his dreams. He really was made for the stage. He grabbed his flowers and slowly made his way to the backstage where staffs were receiving flowers and gifts for the actors and actresses, from the fans. Soonyoung fell in line patiently, and froze when he saw his friends making their way to the backstage.

_Jihoon._

Soonyoung watched as his friends were welcomed by Seokmin himself. He watched as Jihoon grabbed Seokmin in a hug. He watched them laugh together. Soonyoung teared up, he wondered if he would still be part of that group if he didn’t leave? He wondered if there would come a time where he could openly support his friends and laugh together with them without fear of any repercussions? Would they even accept him back after all he did and after what he had become?

His reverie was broken when Rowoon suddenly came into the picture. It was only then that he noticed that Seungcheol wasn’t with the group. He was shocked to see that Jeonghan really was with Rowoon, but what shocked him more was when Jihoon reached out for his hand to Rowoon’s hand. They seemed to be talking about something serious. Soonyoung pulled his hoodie up and tried to move closer to the group, but he was still too far away. All he could hear were mumbles and laughters. He moved closer and faintly heard Jihoon’s words.

“Thanks for yesterday.” Jihoon said.

Soonyoung stiffened at the words. He immediately turned his back and walked away, the blurry part of the picture finally becoming clearer. He walked to a nearby park where he sat at one of the benches to calm his raising heart down.

_They know each other._

_Jeonghan lied._

_Israfil lied._

_Jihoon lied._

_It was Jihoon._

_It was Jihoon all along._

Jihoon knew it was him. He was probably the one who sent Rowoon and Jeonghan to the club when he was with the client. Soonyoung clutched his chest as he felt the familiar fear and guilt that often comes when he thinks of Jihoon, guilt for leaving him and fear that Jihoon hated him. He thought about why Jihoon, who was already successful and in a committed relationship, would waste his time going after a mere dancer. Soonyoung doubted that it was because he genuinely liked him. Nobody in their right mind would like him, all tainted and unworthy.

He was played, Soonyoung thought. Jihoon probably knew from the beginning that it was him and deliberately tried to make him like him, to capture his attention and heart, only to break his heart in the end, just like what he did to him years before.Soonyoung couldn’t stop the thought that Jihoon was probably just driven by the desire to hurt him back, because why else would he pour all of his time for a mere dancer, a worthless one even. His thoughts were disrupted when he received a text from the man himself.

**Jihoon to Soonyoung**

He stared at the message, still too shock to respond. He didn’t know how to face Israfil knowing that it was Jihoon behind the mask. He didn’t know if he could bear being close to him without breaking down. But more than the fear was the longing to see Jihoon again, and be with him again, even for just a mere hour. He asked himself if that hour would be worth it of pain that’ll follow. He didn’t have to think of the answer, because he already knew.

**JIHOON**

Jihoon was getting worried. He’s been trying to contact Soonyoung for the past hour. They were supposed to meet an hour earlier but Soonyoung was nowhere to be found. He’s been pacing around the apartment not quite knowing whether to stay put and wait or go to Soonyoung’s apartment to look for him. It was a big night for him as it was the night he planned on revealing himself to Soonyoung.

It was also the night that he promised himself to hold on to Soonyoung and never let him go, no matter what he says. He’ll beg Soonyoung if he have to just to let him stay in his life. He even promised himself not to ask Soonyoung why he left or how his relationship with Wonwoo. Jihoon was determined to be contented to what Soonyoung could offer, as long as it meant he can stay in his life for a little bit longer.

_Soonie, where are you?_

He was running out of patience when he heard his phone buzzed.

**Soonyoung to Jihoon**

Jihoon was relieved. He didn’t know what to do if ever he losts Soonyoung again without telling him just how much he loves him. He took his lace mask from the table and put it on. Although there was no longer a reason to hide, he wanted to give Soonyoung anything he wants, afraid to scare him away again even if it meant hiding behind the mask for a little bit longer.

🎼 **Soonyoung's Dance Music**

https://open.spotify.com/track/2k5PT7lJxuJ1prVA5R3C5x?si=fddd646893474c7f

🔞

**SOONYOUNG**

Soonyoung hesitated by Israfil’s door, or should he say Jihoon’s door. He was already an hour late so he didn’t know what to expect. He thought he couldn’t do it. He thought his guilt would be enough to stop him from going, and the fear of getting hurt would cripple him, but his longing to be with Jihoon was greater.

_Just for tonight, then I’ll leave._ He told himself.

He grabbed the door knob and took a deep breath before turning it. The apartment was as usual dark, the only light was coming from a small lamp in the living room. Soonyoung made a last minute change with his outfit. He chose to wore a simple polo and black slacks. He already knew the song to play, and connected his phone to the speakers. He double checked his mask before walking towards the living room where he could see Jihoon already waiting.

Soonyoung stood in the middle of the living room frozen, he could clearly see Jihoon’s outline in the darkness. How he missed that the shadow was Jihoon, he didn’t know, but now in his presence he could clearly see that it was him. He forced his eyes to focus on the darkness, willing himself to move to the music but he couldn’t. The music already started but he couldn’t dance. He was frozen in place as pasts feelings that he tried to buried came rushing back to the surface. There was only one thing in his mind, so let himself be guided by the longing that was consuming his entire body. He walked slowly to Jihoon, no longer hesitant on what to do.

He slow knelt on the couch, with Jihoon in between his legs, while Jihoon welcome the closeness by pulling Soonyoung closer with both hands on his waist. Soonyoung’s heart was working overtime as he felt Jihoon’s hand slowly removed his shirt from being tucked, and his hands finally made its way to his skin.

Soonyoung could see clearly how Jihoon’s breath stopped for a minute when his hand travelled to the mask on Jihoon’s face, thumbing the edges but not quite moving to push them aside. Soonyoung let his finger travel down to Jihoon’s cheeks with his eyes following his finger’s movement. He slowly leaned in, nose against nose, lips too near but not touching. Soonyoung could feel Jihoon’s breath on his face, yet he made no move to cover the small distance between their lips. He didn’t know if he was still worthy of that kiss that he longed for so much. So, instead he let his lips land on Jihoon’s cheeks, his nose, his eyebrows, his chin and down his neck, while slow unbuttoning Jihoon’s shirt who was doing the same thing to him.

_It’s been too long, too long since I’m home again._ Soonyoung thought.

Soonyoung then helped Jihoon take of his shirt, before Soonyoung’s lips was on him again. He let his lips and tongue trail along Jihoon’s jugular, making sure that he leaves marks along the way. Jihoon moaned when he let his teeth brushed against his skin and even moaned louder when Soonyoung bit him harshly before licking the pain away with his tongue.

But before Soonyoung could continue, he was startled when Jihoon moved and pushed him to the couch. This time it was Jihoon who was on top of him. Soonyoung was shocked when Jihoon guided his face towards his nipples. Soonyoung knew what the other wanted, so he gave in. He flicked Jihoon’s single bud with his tongue, softly licking and sucking until he could feel Jihoon pant for more. He bit the bud softly, evoking a cry from Jihoon. He could feel his cock straining to get free from his slacks. Jihoon’s moans were sinful and music to his ears.

“Soon—“ Jihoon said but clamped his mouth shut. Soonyoung’s stopped for a moment, heart hammering again his chest at the tension that the single syllable left in the room. Soonyoung knew he almost said his name.

“D—don’t stop...” Jihoon begged and grinded his ass against Soonyoung’s erection. So, Soonyoung decided to let it go and move his attention to Jihoon’s another nipples making Jihoon shudder from the sensation.

Soonyoung’s breath hitched when Jihoon hot off his lap and knelt in between his legs. Soonyoung moaned with how sinful Jihoon looked, hair messy, lips slightly parted and damped as he worked the zipper on Soonyoung’s slacks. Jihoon let his lips wander on Soonyoung’s torso, as he slowly lowered his zipper. Soonyoung could help but rolled his hips upward, impatient for that familiar touch of Jihoon’s lips wrapped around his cock. Soonyoung could feel Jihoon’s warm breath against his skin, and he was desperate to feel it near his groin, his cock already straining to be free.

When Jihoon finally bared his cock, Soonyoung unconsciously bucked his hips upward but Jihoon pushed back. Jihoon pushed both his legs wider apart. Soonyoung shivered as he felt Jihoon’s tongue start from his hole, to his perineum, and evetually tracing the underside if his cock. But the sensation didn’t last, becauss Jihoon stopped as soon as he started. Instead, he took Soonyoung cock in his hand and began working him at a steady pace. Soonyoung whined, he really wanted to feel Jihoon’s mouth on his cock. But the steady pace had Soonyoung releasing a bit of precum, the moisture crowning the top of his cock, then stopped. Soonyoung’s heart jumped in excitement when Jihoon finally leaned in, he whined when instead licking it, Jihoon blew on it.

“I know you want my mouth.” Jihoon whispered no longer trying to hide his identity behind the mask by speaking out.

Soonyoung nodded in affirmation. He was desperate for Jihoon’s hand that was currently resting on the couch to touch him again. His cock was already in agony and the pressure and desperation for Jihoon’s mouth was burning him. He shuddered when he saw a familiar smirk. He knew then that if he wants Jihoon mouth, he gotto have to work for it.

Soonyoung whined louder when he felt Jihoon brushed the tip of his tongue on the head of his cock, licking away the small bead of precum that had formed but immediately moving away.

“J— Please...” Soonyoung begged. He knew he almost slipped. The haze in his head was not helping. He was about to blow any minute, but he dare not touch himself, afraid that Jihoon would stop altogether. Plus, he promised to give himself fully to Jihoon that night. He wanted Jihoon to own him, mark him, devour him like there’s no tomorrow, because for them there was no tomorrow, no future to look forward to. Their future became inexistent from the moment that Soonyoung left.

Jihoon took pity and reach for Soonyoung again, slowly stroking his length as his other hand cupped his sac. Soonyoung became dizzy in pleasure as he felt the heat pooling on his stomach.

“Please taste me.” Soonyoung begged and it was all the motivation that Jihoon needed before he leaned in and licked the slit. Soonyoung’s hands found its way to Jihoon’s hair, as his breathing became ragged. He moaned when he finally felt Jihoon’s lips wrapped around his cock, groaning when he felt the wetness of his tongue smoothly slide on his cock. Jihoon hallowed his cheeks as he took Soonyoung deeper, until Soonyoung felt the head of his cock hit the back of Jihoon’s throat.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

Soonyoung groaned at the overwhelming pleasure that’s spreading all over his body, when Jihoon flicked his tongue while he was inside his mouth. He wondered if it’s possible to die of ecstasy. One harsh sucked drove him closer to the edge.

“I— I’m cumming.” Soonyoung declared but regretted it immediately when Jihoon released him with a pop, completely stopping his ministration.

“No, you’re not.” Jihoon whispered as he squeeze the head of his erection preventing him from ejaculating. Soonyoung shivered from the pain, his shaft swollen and was ready to burst at any moment while sweat painted all over his forehead. When Jihoon was satisfied that Soonyoung was no longer close to cumming, he went back to his ministration, taking Soonyoung’s length deeper each time. Jihoon could taste the saltiness of Soonyoung precum. Jihoon must have noticed that Soonyoung was at the edge of his limit, so he continued sucking and licking until Soonyoung was shivering through his orgasm as he felt wetness inside his mouth as he released his load and taking everything in and not wasting a single drop.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

Soonyoung felt Jihoon tugged at his pants as he pulled it and his underwear off him completely leaving him naked. Jihoon also did the same. Soonyoung was completely mesmerized at Jihoon’s pale body marred by several marks on his neck and chest. Jihoon grabbed the lube and a black dildo from the side table and gave it to Soonyoung. Before Soonyoung could react, Jihoon straddled him and guided Soonyoung’s hand near his ass. It was then that Soonyoung knew what Jihoon wanted.

With Jihoon still on top of him, Soonyoung coated his finger with lube, before he reached out to Jihoon’s hole. Jihoon spread his leg wider as he felt two fingers caressed the sensitive skin around his rim. Jihoon felt Soonyoung peppering his neck with open mouthed kisses while his finger slowly and gently worked his hole. Soonyoung felt Jihoon stiffened when he tried to dip one finger inside him, confusing him. He thought it was what Jihoon wanted.

“S—sorry. I haven’t bottomed in so long.” Jihoon said. Soonyoung nodded. For a second he stared at Jihoon’s lips, mesmerized by it’s closeness. But he snapped out of it, he shouldn’t claim what’s not his. With Jihoon’s both hands on Soonyoung’s shoulder, Soonyoung reached out for his hole from behind with one hand, while his other hand reach for Jihoon’s manhood. He thumbed the head making Jihoon moan, at the same time that he inserted one finger into Jihoon, whose ragged breath broke the silence in the room. Soonyoung’s finger was slow and hot inside him, while the other hand continued to stroke him. When Soonyoung felt Jihoon relax some more, he added another finger, keeping a slow pace, while his stopped stroking Jihoon’s dick. Jihoon moaned louder, clutching Soonyoung tightly in his arms as he felt the pad of his finger brushed against his pleasure spot.

“Please... More...” Jihoon begged while he started to move his hips against Soonyoung’s fingers. “More...”

Soonyoung added another finger making Jihoon threw his head back and arched his back as he another brush on the gland. Soonyoung wasted no time in licking one and capturing it between his lips.

Soonyoung stopped Jihoon from grabbing his neglected cock making Jihoon whine.

“Touch me. Please.” Jihoon begged as he continued to thrust again’s Soonyoung’s finger. He whined even louder when Soonyoung stopped and grabbed the neglected dildo and coated with lube, before reaching from the back, harshly shoving the dildo inside Jihoon hole. “Touch me.”

“No, cum untouch or don’t cum at all.”

Jihoon whimpered from the order but nonetheless continued moving his hips against the dildo which was stretching him out even more.

“Yes.. yes.. please..” Jihoon moaned as his body shuddered with pleasure, releasing his load on between their stomachs. Jihoon was panting while he rested his head on Soonyoung’s shoulder, but he wanted more. He wanted to to be filled not by some dildo but by Soonyoung himself. He wanted Soonyoung to know that as he thrust himself into him that he owns him, that every thrust of his cock inside him was a claim of ownership. Jihoon no longer cared about the past, he just wanted Soonyoung to stay.

Jihoon surprised Soonyoung when he shifted his hips, liftend and positioned himself over Soonyoung’s erection. Soonyoung groaned when he felt Jihoon slid down his length until he bottomed out. Jihoon moved up and down Soonyoung’s length , while Soonyoung drove his hips upward to meet Jihoon’s movement.

“Say my name. Please, say my name.” He begged as he continue to move his hips against his groin, lips hovering over his slightly parted one’s, breaths mingling with every pant, with every thrust. Jihoon’s hand found it’s way to Soonyoung’s mask.

“Isra—“

“No, my name... let me hear u say my name...” Jihoon begged as he met Soonyoung’s every thrust with one of his own, forehead against forehead, lips getting nearer with each thrust. Jihoon’s movement was already getting sloppy, his rhytim becoming erratic and uncontrolled as he get nearer to his release.

“Say my name...” Jihoon growled into Soonyoung’s mouth as he tried to stop himself from cumming.

“Cum on my dick, J-Jihoon.” Soonyoung whispered as he raised his hips up to meet Jihoon’s movement, harshly slamming his dick inside him. Soonyoung watched Jihoon threw his head back and hold on to him tighter as his toes curles and shook while his orgasm invade his entire body.

“Soonyoung... Soonyoung... Soonyoung...” Jihoon moaned as his body jerked and spasmed, taking Soonyoung with him when he clenched his hole around his cock. He could feel dampness inside of him as Soonyoung release his load.

_Five years is so long without you. I’m never going to let you go again._ Jihoon thought as they both rode out their orgasms.

Jihoon let his head fall to Soonyoung’s shoulder while Soonyoung still had his arms wrapped around Jihoon’s waist. The silence of the room was filled with the sound of their heavy breathing.

Jihoon lifted his head drowsily while his hands were now on the lace mask that was still hiding his face.

“I missed you, Soonyoung.” Jihoon whispered as he ripped off his own mask then gently removed the one on Soonyoung.

_Jihoon._ It was one thing to know and another thing to actually stare reality in the eye. His eyes filled with tears as he looked at Jihoon’s face, the face that he missed so much.

“I missed you so much, Kwon Soonyoung.” Jihoon said before smashing his lips against Soonyoung’s, his hand on the boy’s nape desperately pulling as if the lack of space between them was still a huge gap. Soonyoung opened his mouth to welcome Jihoon’s tongue into his. He claimed his mouth completely, tongue invading to taste him hotly and wetly, leaving no room for air. Jihoon kissed Soonyoung with the so much fervor and passion that had been denied from him for so long when Soonyoung left him, the hope of love finally returning.

Jihoon threaded his fingers on Soonyoung’s hair, while Soonyoung gripped Jihoon’s waist tighter, pulling him closer to let their bodies press against each other even more. Jihoon could still feel Soonyoung inside him, already soft, but Soonyoung was so affected and so turned on that he found himself getting hard again.

Jihoon stopped kissing Soonyoung and panted against his mouth as he felt Soonyoung’s hardness slowly fill his hole again. He trembled when one slow moved cause Soonyoung’s cock to brushed against his prostate. He was dangerously close to overstimulation, but he welcome the pain.

“Soonyoung... B—Bed...”

“I think we need to—“

“No we don’t. Bed.”

Jihoon knew that Soonyoung was just being considerate, but he needed more. He didn’t care about the pain, he wanted more of Soonyoung. He needed him to pound into him harshly and harder so that he can make sure that everything he’s feeling at the moment was real, that it wasn’t just a dream.

Soonyoung grabbed Jihoon tighter while Jihoon wrapped his legs around Soonyoung’s waist as the latter moved them to the bedroom. Soonyoung gently laid Jihoon on the bed before capturing his mouth again. Jihoon desperately took his kisses and returned them with passion. With legs bent he spread himself wider, with hands clutched as Soonyoung’s ass, holding him firmly so he could thrust, harder and deeper.

“Soonyoung...” Jihoon moaned when Soonyoung released his mouth only to latched his mouth to Jihoon’s jaw, his neck, and shoulder. He moaned louder as he felt Soonyoung pressed into him, getting more aggressive with every thrust. He could feel Soonyoung’s cock wedge deeper into him with every thrust.

“Jihoon...” Soonyoung felt Jihoon’s fingers claw into his back, leaving a scratch, as he continued to thrust into Jihoon, deeper and deeper until he was consumed by Jihoon. He bucked even more furiously as Jihoon wrapped his legs round his waist encouraging him to move harder and to be harsher.

“Soonyoung.. touch me.. touch me..” Jihoon yelled as he neared his peak, his cock already swollen and ready to burst, that a single brushed of Soonyoung’s hand sent him over the edge, spilling his seed on his stomach and Soonyoung’s hand. Jihoon moaned when he saw Soonyoung licked the cum on his hand with his tongue while he continued to buck furiously against Jihoon until he was shuddering and pumping his seeds into Jihoon for the second time that night. He gave one least shudder before collapsing on top of him.

They listened to their breaths as they stayed still, both stunned into silence at pleasure they just had.

* * *

> *<https://privatter.net/p/7152558>
> 
> ** *Do not read if uncomfortable with NSFW Content/Pictures **
> 
> ** *Contents : Explicit Pictures (This is the reason why I couldn't post it here.) **
> 
> ** *Follow at @sexysunhey (twitter) to access (Age on Bio) **
> 
> ***Same as above less images**

* * *

**JIHOON**

Jihoon dreamt of butterfly kisses one spring day. He dreamt of soft satin sheets and the faint smell of baby soap, soft skin brushing against his lips. Jihoon sigh and smiled. Everything at the moment smelled like home. It smells like the old tree house they used to play in when they were little kids, or the smell of the soft breeze from the sea near their house. He never felt more relax and contented as he snuggled closer to the warmth beside him.

_I am home._

He sigh in in his sleep when he felt the arms wrapped around him tightly as if he would never let go. He wanted nothing more than to just sleep in Soonyoung’s arms. He was surprised when he felt the arms around him slackening, bringing him back from dreamland. He felt Soonyoung gently and slowly moved away from him. Jihoon grabbed his hand just as he was about to get off the bed.

“Soonyoung?” Jihoon asked holding on tightly to Soonyoung’s hand. He was confused as to where Soonyoung was going. “Where are you going?”

Soonyoung gently removed his hands from Jihoon’s grasp before he move and sat at the edge of the bed, looking for some clothes when he remembered that they were probably still in the living room.

“I’m leaving?”

“W—why?” Jihoon was now wide awake, not quite understanding why Soonyoung was suddenly acting cold after what just happened between them. It was as if a huge wall was suddenly between them and Jihoon couldn’t push it no matter how he tried.

“I’m done servicing you, Sir. I’m leaving.” Soonyoung said already walking away on a mission to find his clothes. But Jihoon was faster than him, by the time he was by the door Jihoon was already blocking it.

“Serving?” Jihoon asked, eyes filled with confusion. Soonyoung didn’t know why Jihoon was acting all confused when he finally got what he wanted. He just wanted to walk away as fast as he could before he completely lose himself in Jihoon again. It was already too late for his heart, but Jihoon didn’t need to know that.

“Yes, I think I’ve done my job and now I’m leaving.” Soonyoung sad as he tried to move past Jihoon who refused to move.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jihoon asked, thoughts consumed with determination of keeping Soonyoung in his line of sight.

“I’ve done my job.”Soonyoung said as a matter of factly, pushing Jihoon out of the way. He hurriedly went to the living room and started grabbing his clothes on the floor. Soonyoung could feel his heart starting to give in and he was desperate to leave.

“Yes you did. Should I fucking pay you in cash or do you take credit cards?” Jihoon asked already becoming furious with how Soonyoung was treating him at the moment. Soonyoung was acting as if he was the one at fault when their relationship fell apart.

Soonyoung paled. He knew he baited Jihoon into saying it but it didn’t make it less painful. His throat constricted as a sob threatened to come out but he pushed it down and hardened his face.

“No, need to. Your last payment would have covered this. Excuse me.” Soonyoung quietly said before trying to move away but Jihoon wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Wait. Shit! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Please, I don’t understand.” Jihoon pleaded as he clung to Soonyoung who was determined to leave. “Why are you trying to leave? Please, wait.”

“What do you mean? Do you want more? What is it that you require from me? A blowjob? Another round? Let me just rest for a couple of minute—“

“Stop it!”

“Okay.” Soonyoung answered as he try to remove Jihoon’s arms around him but to no effect.

“Soonyoung!”

“I told you if you need more—“

“Stop it! Please, why are you mad?” Jihoon released him for a bit and made him face him. Soonyoung’s heart clenched as he saw Jihoon’s face filled with hurt.

“I’m not mad. I’m— I don’t know. I just need to get away from you.” Soonyoung admitted.

“Do you really despise me that much that you can’t even stand being in the same room with me?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?! Because the last time I checked you were the one who fucking left! Why is it that I’m still the one who keeps chasing you after you? Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Shouldn’t you be the one apologizing for leaving me alone all those years?” Jihoon yelled no longer caring that he was breaking down in front of Soonyoung. He didn’t care anymore but Soonyoung was hurting him again and he was already fed up. He just wants them to be okay again, but Soonyoung was not even listening to him.

“Is that what you want? An apology? I’m sorry. Are we good now? Will you stop bothering me now and let me do my job in peace?” Soonyoung snapped. He turned back no longer able to bear looking at Jiboon in pain.

“Enough about the job! Am I really just a job to you? Do I really mean nothing?” Jihoon asked.

“Y—yes.” Soonyoung answered clutching his clothes closer to him.

“Okay, stay.”

“I told you—“

“I know. I’ll fucking pay you for your services.” Jihoon snapped and grabbed the clothes from Soonyoung and threw it all over the room.

“What is it that you require from me?” Soonyoung asked.

“A lot. So, I need the whole weekend.”

“You have to specify—“

“I’ll fuck you senseless in all parts if the house if that’s what it’ll take to make you stay here. I’ll fuck your mouth until you’re hoarse. I’ll fuck your ass until you beg me to stop. Is that what you want me to say?” Jihoon yelled as he finally turned his back from Soonyoung. He was shaking as he walked away, eyes blurry because of the his tears. He couldn’t understand why Soonyoung was being deliberately hurtful when all he wants was for them to be together.

He stopped by the door of the bedroom and whispered:

“Soonyoung, please stop hurting me.”

“J—jihoon...” Soonyoung was shocked at his effect on Jihoon, but he couldn’t stop. He told himself he shouldn’t stop. Jihoon deserves better, not someone like him who is tainted. He was about to leave when he saw Jihoon shake a little bit before falling down.

“Jihoon! _”_ Soonyoung yelled as he moved quickly just in time to catch Jihoon before he hit the floor.

**JIHOON**

Jihoon woke up alone with a massive headache. Somebody put him in his pajamas and tucked him in his bed. He sat up panicked when he remembered that Soonyoung was supposed to be with him. He calmed down immediately when the other boy entered, dressed in Jihoon’s clothes and carrying a tray of food, which he placed by the side table before sitting down on the bed.

“What happened?” Jihoon asked immediately moving to sit on Soonyoung’s lap, whose arms immediately snaked around his waist. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Shua Hyung said to drink this. Your sugar levels are way too low and you fainted.” Soonyoung offered Jihoon a can of cola. Jihoon took a sip. “You need to take better good care of yourself.”

“You stayed.”

“Of course I stayed! Did you expect me to leave?” Soonyoung asked making Jihoon drink again as he rubbed his hands on Jihoon’s back.

“No, I was afraid you will though.” Jihoon answered and snuggled closer to Soonyoung.

“I’m sorry, Jihoon. I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry that I didn’t even say goodbye. I’m sorry that until now I’m still hurting you.” Soonyoung cried and held on to Jihoon tighter. He wanted to tell Jihoon the truth. He wanted to tell him the real reason why he left but he couldn’t make himself to do it. He shouldn’t even be there with Jihoon. He was unworthy.

“Will you tell me why? Is it because of Wonwoo?” Jihoon asked making Soonyoung look at him, brushing his thumb on Soonyoung’s cheeks. If there was one thing that he couldn’t bear, it was to see Soonyoung crying. Even when they were kids, he dropped everything whenever Soonyoung starts crying.

“I was never with Wonwoo. We never— It was— I don’t—“ Soonyoung sobbed no longer able to held back. He felt so bad for putting Jihoon through so much shit. He really didn’t deserve him. No matter how much he loved him, he couldn’t do it to Jihoon, he couldn’t make Jihoon settle for someone like him. Jihoon deserve better.

“Shhh... Don’t cry, Soonie. It’s okay. It’s okay. You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to. I’m just glad you’re here now and I’m not letting you go.” Jihoon whispered holding on to Soonyoung tighter.

“Ji, you know that this is temporary right? I’m only here for the weekend. Then after that we should stop seeing each other, for good.”

Soonyoung said. It was the right thing to do, he thought. He already did so much damage to Jihoon’s life. He should stop.

“Why?” Jihoon looked at Soonyoung with pleading eyes, not understanding why Soonyoung needed to leave. Does he not love him anymore? He wanted to ask but he was so afraid of the answer.

“Ji, have you forgotten about your life? You have a career and a fiance? Where do I even stand in that? No, more importantly I don’t deserve to be back into your life after what I did.”

“You could have killed me in the most horrible way and I would still forgive you. The past does not matter to me Soons, I love you and I never stopped. I don’t care about the details, I just want you.” Jihoon said. “As for Nana, I know I fucked up, but I promise I’ll make it right. You just have to give me time to make things right. Please.”

“What are you even saying?” Soonyoung asked not quite understanding.

“Soonyoung, the moment I knew it was you I’ve already decided my fate. I have a few things to take care of before I can fully commit to you, but I will take care of it. Just please give me time. Please.”

“C—Commit?” Soonyoung asked. He shouldn’t hope but he couldn’t help it. His heart was starting to hope again, something that he should stop.

“Yes, I told you. I want you back. If you’ll let me, I want to back in your life.” Jihoon declared.

“Ji, you’re going too fast.” Soonyoung said. He didn’t know what to answer Jihoon. It wasn’t part of the plan. He was supposed to leave immediately, but he couldn’t just leave when Jihoon was sick.

“Then just promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Promise me you’ll stay. I’ll take care of my business, I swear. But please stay. Don’t leave me behind again, because this time I might won’t make it. Please, promise me. Just stay.” Jihoon begged and Soonyoung knew he was back to square one. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Jihoon especially if he look at him with those pleading eyes.

“O—okay, I promise. I’ll stay for now okay? But we have to talk more about this. Please don’t expect too much yet, okay?” Soontoung agreed.

“Yes, I won’t and we will talk. I promise. I love you so much.” Jihoon said.

Soonyoung wanted to say it back but he stopped himself. He was still leaving no matter what. He told himself he’ll just allow himself a little bit of time with the love of his life.

Soonyoung felt Jihoon grind against his groin while his hands found their way inside Soonyoung’s shirt.

“Ji, you just fainted. You need rest.” Soonyoung said, holding Jihoon still.

“No, what I need is protein, if you know what I mean.” Jihoon smirked as he let his eyes travel to Soonyoung’s crotch.

“Actually. what you need is sugar— Ah.. Jihoon.. Aren’t you sore?” Soonyoung moaned and found himself getting hard with Jihoon’s continued grinding.

“Well, now that you mentioned it, I am a little sore, but you’re not.” Jihoon winked and pushed Soonyoung back to bed making him laugh. Jihoon’s heart made a double flip. He love hearing Soonyoung’s laugh, more than he loved hearing him moan. Actually, he love everything about Soonyoung.

Jihoon spent the rest of the night taking as much protein as he could from Soonyoung who by the time the sun came up, was already sore from Jihoon’s unsatiable appetite.

Soonyoung watched as Jihoon slept on his chest and smiled when Jihoon, who even in his sleep, knew how to make Soonyoung feel loved, when he kissed the part of his chest where his heart was located.

_I love you too Hoonie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RANTS:
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.me/soonhaee


	26. Chapter 26

**JEONGHAN**

Jeonghan cuddled closer to Joshua who hurried to Mingyu’s house to answer his call for help. He was feeling better already, just lounging in bed with his best friend who was sound asleep at the moment. He watched the rise and fall of Joshua’s chest where several marks were peeking out of his shirt. Jeonghan smiled.

Joshua doesn’t share much about his sex life before because he never had one, but judging from the marks on his chests and the few ones he saw at Joshua’s thighs when his shorts hitched upward, Joshua must have been getting some regularly. Jeonghan let his finger travel to Joshua’s collar, determined to get a peek. He was startled when Joshua suddenly grabbed his hands.

“Hannie, stop it.” Joshua said eyes still closed. Jeonghan laughed when he noticed Joshua’s ears turning red.

“Come on, tell me what happened to that.” Jeonghan moved closer to Joshua to take a closer look at the marks on his neck and chest. He was happy his friend was finally getting out of his shell. He felt bad for not telling Joshua he knew about the his secret, maybe if he settled it years ago then Joshua would have moved on faster rather than making him suffer all those years of pining over Seungcheol.

“No way. You’re going to broadcast it to the whole world.” Joshua said as he tried to get away from Jeonghan’s grabbing hands. Jeonghan was his best friend, but he wasn’t used to talking about his lovelife, simply because he never had one before, except for his pining for Seungcheol which he thought wasn’t a good idea to broadcast to the man’s boyfriend.

“Is it Seokmin? That kid has sharp teeths look at—“ Joshua slapped Jeonghan’s hand when he reached for a bit mark near his shoulder. Jeonghan noticed Joshua’s blushed as Seeokmin’s name was mentioned.

“Okay, if it’s not Seokmin then is it—“

“It’s Jongin.” Joshua admitted. He was happily sleeping in Kai’s arm when Jihoon called from his phone but he was shocked when it was Soonyoung who was on the phone. Apparently, Jihoon fainted and Soonyoung was panicking. Kai was kind enough to go with him to Jihoon’s house. They were saying their goodbyes when Joshua received another call, this time from Jeonghan. He didn’t want to leave the warmth of Kai’s company but he knew those were just selfish thoughts. Kai assured him that it was okay, and that they’ll meet again or just to text him if he misses him. Kai even drove him to Mingyu’s.

“Who the fuck is that?” Jeonghan asked, not quite believing that in a span of few weeks Joshua had manage to have several boys at his beck and call, especially since his best friend was the designated demure virign of the group.

“It’s Kai, the dancer.” Joshua said.

“Oooh la la… another man?”

“No, uhh... the same man as before actually.” Jeonghan admitted.

“He came back for more? You my friend must be really good in bed, unless you’re wasting all your money on a good fuck then I suggest you stop and just spread your legs for our eager little boy Seokmin.” Jeonghan laughed when Joshua blushed again. But he was worried, Jeonghan knew how expensive the membership for the blue diamond members, and he was afraid Joshua was wasting money for a quick fuck.

“Yah!” Joshua blushed remembering his night with Kai and immediately felt bad for Seokmin.

“Well?”

“No, I’m not paying him, okay?” Joshua said. “I don’t have the money to do that. Mingyu sort of paid for the first one.”

“And the second one?”

“He said it’s a freebie. But when I asked him to leave after we did it, he said he wanted to stay. We talked about it and it’s just an arrangement.” Joshua explained. Given the nature of Kai’s work, Joshua kind of understood why Kai was hesitant to step further than their current arrangment. He didn’t understand why Kai chose him to spend his dowtime with, but he was just thankful it was him. Kai explained it to him and Joshua was satisfied with the arrangement. He didn’t want to be in a relationship when he knew himself that he wasn’t ready.

“Did it!?” Jeonghan squealed in excitement.

“Shut up! Lower your voice down. You’ll wake up the whole house.”

“So?”

“Fine. We did it, okay? Happy now?” Joshua blushed. The feeling of Kai inside him was still fresh in his mind and he couldn’t wait to see him again. Sex wasn’t as scary as he thought it would be especially if it’s with a person he trusts and it was even more surprisng how quickly he trusted Kai despite the short time that they’ve known each other.

“Oh wait, this arrangment is it like a relationship?”

“No, like just a.. well… uhmmm… a sex arrangement.” Joshua admitted.

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Yes, I’m okay with that. I like it very much actually.” Joshua smiled as he thought about how good Kai made him feel. “I like the way that he makes me feel.”

“Oh, Shua a sex maniac.” Jeonghan teased.

“I’m not!” Joshua protested. It wasn’t just the sex that drew him to Kai. It was more than just the sex, the companionship that Kai brings and the way that Kai seems to know how to take care of him was what’s important to him.

“Oh you have a fuck buddy and you’re dating Seokmin on the side. Who are you and what did you do to my best friend?” Jeonghan teased. He didn’t know if it was such a good idea but he knew Joshua needed to experience everything that comes along with his decision, including the consequences.

“Shut up!”

“But you should be fair.” Jeonghan teased.

“What do you mean?”

“If you’re letting Kai dip into your holessssss, I said holesssssss—“ Jeonghan teased.

“I know what you mean!”

“Well, shouldn’t you give Seokmin a taste too?” Jeonghan asked. He was teasing but he also wanted to honestly know where Seokmin stands.

“It’s not like that, with Seokmin it feels weird to be honest. He asked me on several dates and I agreed, no commitment. I just wanted to give him the chance. But now that I think about it, I’m scared I’ll only end up hurting him. I’m not ready for a commitment.”

“Shua, then maybe you should talk to him? Be honest with him?”

“I will. That was my plan all along, I can’t keep stringing Seokmin along when I’m totally not ready for something more, especially when I can’t seem to get past the fact that he’s a good friend. Maybe if I spend more time with him the feelings would come, I don’t know.” Joshua said sounding exhasperated.

“Or you could just fuck him too.” Jeonghan suggested.

“Yah! Is this talk making you feel better? Is this entertaining you?” Joshua asked laughing. He knew his best friend was just teasing him to get his mind off the real problem. He took Jeonghan’s hand and gave it squeeze who squeezed it back in assurance.

“Yes, Joshuji. So, please tell me all the details about our favorite dancer. I haven’t been laid in a while, and I’m so horny I might just jerk myself off to your story.” Jeonghan joked making Joshua laughed harder clutching his stomach for laughing too hard.

“Jeonghan!” Joshua yelled pretending to be scandalized when he already knew Jeonghan was always like that.

“I’m just kidding! Jeez, relax. I’ll do it when you’re not here.” Jeonghan teased.

“Oh my God! You need to get laid!”

“Do you want to fuck me then?” Jeonghan pouted and moved closer to Joshua and flutter his eyelashes at him.

“Oh my God! I’m getting out of here.” Joshua pretended to get off the bed but Jeonghan pulled him back. He fell back to the bed laughing. He missed his friend. It seemed that they haven’t been spending time together, unlike before. Joshua felt that it was his fault. He unconsciously avoided Jeonghan when his mind was consumed of thoughts of moving on. He felt guilty because he wasn’t there when Jeonghan needed him the most. He promised himself that it won’t happen again.

“Kidding! But seriously, tell me. Spare no details. Like how many times did you—“

“Hannie!” Joshua laughed. “Okay, i’ll tell you if you promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Talk to Seungcheol.” Joshua said. He knew his Jeonghan the most and there was no person he loved more than Seungcheol. His life revolved around him. He knew how much his separation with Seungcheol is taking a toll on Jeonghan, physically and emotionally. Joshua was just glad that Jeonghan found Rowoon who seemed to be determined to take care of his best friend.

“No.”

“Hannie—“

“Joshua, he betrayed me!”

“Technically, he didn’t. You broke up with him.” Joshua pointed out.

“But—“

“No story then.”

“Come on Joshuji, play fair!”

“Are you just going to throw your relationship down the drain? It’s ten years Hannie and Seungcheol is probably just confused at that time. So, talk to him and maybe fuck him while your at it so your libido won’t have to depend on my sex life.”

Jeonghan laughed. It was a rare occassion for his bestfriend to use words that he claims are crass. So, hearing Joshua say fuck was truly entertainting.

“I’ll talk to him if you answer my question.”

“Okay, I sucked his dick and I gagged. I came twice. First, from his finger, and the second from his dick. I probably would have came a third and fourth time if Jihoon didn’t need me and you didn’t call me.” Joshua said se seriously and bravely as if its was the normal thing to say but the blush rising on his neck to his ear says otherwise.

“Wow, thanks for the information, but I was going to ask if you still have feelings for Seungcheol?” Jeonghan smirked.

“W—what?” Joshua asked sitting up on the bed, face filled with worry, but Jeonghan just pulled him back to bed and embraced him.

“I know Shua.” Jeonghan whispered.

“H—hanie...”

“I’m not mad. Why would I be mad? Seungcheol is a great guy and you’re free to like anyone you want, even Seungcheol.” Jeonghan explained.“And you never gave me a reason to be jealous. I think you’re really are an angel you know. I’m lucky you’re my best friend. I just want to know, because maybe it’s time you give yourself a chance.”

“A chance to what?”

“To confess?”

Joshua laughed at his friend’s suggestion. He’s been wanting to do that for years, not to get Seungcheol to like him, but just to get it off his chest. But now that Jeonghan is telling him to, he found the idea ridiculous, not because it was Jeonghan who suggested it, but he couldn’t find it in him to feel something about Seungcheol the way he did before.

“Hannie, I won’t lie. I thought about that a lot of times before, not to steal him, never to steal him away from you. I rather lose him than you.”

“Aweee Joshuji.”

“But now, I don’t want to because it’s useless. I don’t see the point of confessing when we don’t have a future.”

“Seungcheol could like you.”

“He doesn’t and he couldn’t, but listen first okay? I don’t see the point because there’s no way I’m choosing him over you. I don’t see the point when he won’t ever feel the same way, he’s crazy about you. I don’t see the point when all I felt and thought about when you suggested it, was nothing.” Joshua smiled and moved closer to his friend who for the first time that night was confuse. “So, thanks but no thanks.”

“But you’ve been in love with him for so long.”

“I love you more; and I’m not. Well, at least not anymore. To be honest, ever since I met Jong-in, Seungcheol was completely erased from my mind.” Joshua blushed at his admission because it was the truth. The usual scenarios in his mind, the man cooking bacon naked in his kitchen, used to be Seungcheol but now he sees Kai. His object of desire even changed from Seungcheol to Kai. It’s like the guy had conditioned his mind to just think about him all the time.

“For real?”

“Hannie, I never you-know so much in a week because of the dude.”

Jeonghan laughed.

“Say it, Shua.”

“Fine! Jerk off okay? One thought of him immediately turns me on, okay? So, no, I don’t want to confess to Seungcheol. I’m fairly busy at the moment living freely without complication. Hanie!” Joshua laughed when he felt Jeonghan tickle him from the side.

Jeonghan was worried. He could see Joshua geuninely liked Kai, but his best friend thought that he was just horny. Jeonghan wished that everything with Joshua’s life remain uncomplicated, but he knew it was too good to be true. The way he talked about his sex buddy doesn’t seem like he’s just in it for the sex. He wanted to tell him, but watching Joshua relaxed for once, and even glowing, stopped him. Hejust wants his best friend to be happy and at the moment, it was the happiest he’d seen Joshua was, in a long time.

“So, you’re over Seungcheol?”

“Yeah, I think so. I was having a hard time with the secret to be honest, not with the feelings. I didn’t like keeping secrets from you so I asked Mingyu for help.”

“And he gave you Kai?”

“Yes, sort of and Kai sort of stuck around or promised to stick around.” Joshua said just in time for his phone to buzz, when he checked, it was a message from Kai and a video which Joshua didn’t play.

Jeonghan watched as Joshua blushed from reading the message. He watched them exchanged several messages before Joshua put the phone back to the side table.

“I’m glad you’re over him.” Jeonghan said.

“I’m glad I don’t have a secret anymore.”

“I love you, Joshuji.” Jeonghan whispered as he snuggled closer to Joshua.

“I love you too, Hannie.”

“So... should we fuck?”

“Jeonghan!!!”

** Joshua and Kai's Conversation **

**SOONYOUNG**

_Stop! Stop! Stop!_

Soonyoung woke up in an empty room. His breathing was ragged and he was covered in sweat as a very familiar memory haunted his dreams. It was the night that he wanted to forget, but no matter how he tried to run away from it, it always find him usually in moments when he was vulnerable. He wrapped his arms around himself as he shivered from the fear that the dream has left. He was disappointed when he realized that Jihoon was no longer beside him, but it was for the best, Soonyoung thought.

He didn’t need to know the horrors that still haunts him from time to time. He wasn’t even planning to stay, no matter what promises he made. It was as if fate wanted to remind him why he couldn’t stay.

_Just this weekend, please._ Soonyoung begged to no one in particular.

He got off the bed and padded barefoot along the empty room, determined to find Jihoon. He grabbed a shirt and shorts from Jihoon’s closet, hoping the other wouldn’t mind, and put it one before he went out to look for Jihoon. He looked around the darkned apartment and found an ajar door where he found Jihoon in front of his computer working on a song. Watching Jihoon work brought mixed emotions in Soonyoung.

He was happy that Jihoon was still the same as he was in college. He used to ran back to his studio in the middle of the night whenever he’s inspired, and most the time that he was inspired were nights when he was with Soonyoung and they just made love. But Soonyoung also remembered the weeks prior to the day he left. It was a memory of Jihoon that he wished he could forget, since it seemed that even Jihoon himself had forgotten them.

“J—ji?” Soonyoung moved closer, his hands shooked as he reached out to touch Jihoon. The last time he dared disturb Jihoon in the studio was five years ago and it ended badly, with Jihoon snapping at Soonyoung for disturbing his flow. Jihoon jumped a little when Soonyoung touched him but it was Soonyoung who was startled making him back away for a second. “I— I’m sorry. I’ll go back—“

“Hey… you’re awake. It’s okay, come here.” Jihoon pulled Soonyoung into his lap, facing him. Jihoon noticed that Soonyoung was a little bit perturbed.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Jihoon asked holding Soonyoung closer to him. He could feel Soonyoung shaking so he held him tighter. “What is it? What’s wrong? Love?”

Soonyoung’s breath hitched by the term of endearment that Jihoon used. It was just sudden and the transition for Jihoon to their old habits was so quick, it was a little bit disorienting for Soonyoung, but he let it pass.

“I just had a dream. That’s all.” Soonyoung whispered as hi rested his face on Jihoon’s shoulders, while the latter stroked Soonyoung’s back with the palm of his hand, hoping to calm Soonyoung down.

“Do you want tell me about it?” Jihoon asked, but Soonyoung hummed in dissent, so he let it go. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’m never going to leave you or let you leave. Everything will be fine, I promise you. I missed you so much.”

“Ji?”

“Yes?”

“Will you help me forget about the dream?” Soonyoung asked, voice muffled because his face was burried into Jihoon’s neck.

“Sure, what do you have in mind?”

Soonyoung grinded against Jihoon’s lap to answer. He knew it wasn’t the answer, but he needed Jihoon’s touch. He needed him to erase the remnants of his dreams that was still ingrained in his mind. It was nights like that one when Soonyoung usually go to his clients to forget, but at that moment, he needed no other than Jihoon. Soonyoung felt Jihoon’s hands slowly go lower until he reached the waistband of his shorts.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Jihoon asked.

“Yes, please.”

Jihoon didn’t need any more prodding and let his hands slip into Soonyoung shorts, before pulling them down. He cupped his ass while Soonyoung held on to his shoulders. Jihoon pressed a finger on Soonyoung’s lips who opens his mouth and sucked in the finger before removing from Soonyoung’s mouth and guiding it to Soonyoung’s rim.

“Ji…” Soonyoung moaned louder when Jihoon inserted the finger coated with his spit into his hole, immediately curling it to find Soonyoung’s pleasure spot. Soonyoung’s breath became ragged as he moved against Jihoon’s growing erection, while he felt Jihoon’s finger inside him. “Ji… let’s move… I want more.”

“Okay…”

Jihoon guided Sooyoung to the L shaped couch near the wide window overlooking the city. He sat at the edge and made Soonyoung stand in front of him, while he caressed Soonyoung thighs with both hands. He looked up at Soonyoung who was already panting in anticipation.

“Do you want to me suck you dick, love?” Jihoon asked as he let one hand trail along the outline of Soonyoung’s erection, before he finally removed Soonyoung’s shorts, revealing his already hard cock. Soonyoung just nodded in response, brain already hazy with the desire to be touched. Soonyoung’s knees almost gave out when he felt Jihoon’s warmth breath come nearer to his groin, while his hands continued to caress his thighs. Jihoon started by kissing the tip of his penis.

“You know I missed you, but I also missed your cock.” Jihoon whispered as he used his tongue to lick gently and slowly the underside of Soonyoung’s shaft. He flicked his tongue back and forth, up and down, while slowly creeping his lips over the head, but backing off immediately making Soonyoung whine in anticipation.

“Please stop teasing.” Soonyoung begged as he thread his fingers on Jihoon’s hair.

Soonyoung groaned and held on to Jihoon’s hair tighter when he Jihoon’s mouth finally cover the head of his cock. Jihoon took Soonyoung’s cock slowly and gently, taking in some more everytime, until Soonyoung groaned louder when he felt the head of his cock hit Jihoon in the throat.

Jihoon then released him and let his tongue trace Soonyoung’s entirety all the way to his sac, before moving back up to put it in his mouth again.

“Want to fuck my mouth?” Jihoon asked in between licks, making Soonyoung’s breath hitched from excitement.

“Y—yes.”

Jihoon moved further into the couch and rested his head on the backrest, while Soonyoung knelt in front of him with both knees on his sides. Jihoon then slacked his jaw as Soonyoung placed his cock into his mouth. He could feel Soonyoung’s hesitation with his thrusts. Jihoon place both his hand on Soonyoung’s backside, pulling him closer to him with each thrusts until he could feel Soonyoung hit his throat.

“I don’t want to— Ahhh… Jihoon… Yes… Do it again…” Soonyoung moaned when Jihoon swirled his tongue while Soonyoung’s cock was inside his mouth. Jihoon’s slowly inserted one finger into Soonyoung’s hole making his cock twitched inside his mouth as Jihoon squeezed his back side.

“Ji…” Soonyoung’s thrusts became sloppy as he came near his release. Jihoon could feel Soonyoung’s swollen cock released more precum when he finally found Soonyoung’s prostate. “Shit.. Jihoon.. Just like that.. harder…”

Jihoon complied and moved his finger faster, aiming for that one spot that made Soonyoung moan louder, while he continued to thrust into Jihoon’s mouth. A few seconds later, Soonyoung came undone, trembling and panting as he released his load into Jihoon’s mouth who took and swallowed everything, down to the last drop.

Soonyoung let himself fall over Jihoon who was smiling despite the redness around his jaw.

“Ride me?” Jihoon asked.

Soonyoung kissed Jihoon before moving away to settle on top of him. Jihoon handed him the lube, and he poured a generous amount. Jihoon shivered as Soonyoung stroked Jihoon’s cock to spread the lube. He then moved and aligned himself against Jihoon’s erection before slowly moved down, until he bottomed out, needing no prep work as he was still stretched out from their earlier endeavor. Soonyoung felt relieved to be filled, washing away the earlier feeling of the dream. He slowly moved savoring how Jihoon’s cock felt as it drag inside him. He was broken from his reverie when he felt Jihoon thrust his hips upward to meet his movement.

“Hoonie.. I—I can’t…” Soonyoung whined when he couldn’t find his prostate, no matter how he tried.

“Shhh.. it’s okay. I got you.” Jihoon helped Soonyoung get off him and asked him to lie on his stomach. Jihoon then moved on top of him. “I’ll go slow, okay?”

“Hmmm…”

Jihoon poured more lube on Soonyoung, before he started by thrusting in between Soonyoung’s butt cheeks. He also started kissing Soonyoung’s back, groaning as he felt his cock slide smoothly in between Soonyoung’s cheeks.

“Jihoon… Inside… Please…”

“Okay, love.”

Jihoon slowly guided his cock to the rim of Soonyoung’s hole. Slowly thrusting into Soonyoung while he continued to kiss Jihoon over neck and all over his back.

“Ji... There... Ahhh...”

Jihoon thrust faster and deeper into Soonyoung whose moans were getting louder every time Jihoon hits his pleasure spot.

“Ji... It feels so good... Harder please...”

“Love, I don’t want to make you sore.” Jihoon said but nevertheless complied to the request. Jihoon lifted Soonyoung’s hips towards him every time he thrusted into him, making Soonyoung shiver from the overwhelming pressure on his pleasure spot until he could no longer hold off the pleasure and was shivering as he came, releasing his load on Jihoon’s couch.

“Ji... I want to see you...”

Jihoon flipped Soonyoung on his front and captured his lips with his as he thrust in and out of him.

“I love you. I’m never letting you go.” Jihoon whispered in between kisses. Jihoon kept aiming at Soonyoung’s prostate who was already in the painful territory of overstimulation, but he urge Jihoon to keep going as Jihoon whispered sweet nothings in his ear. Soonyoung responded by wrapping his arms and legs around Jihoon, who burried his face on Soonyoung’s neck as he came inside of Soonyoung, filling him with his seeds, while Soonyoung came again dry for the first time that night.

Soonyoung lazily smiled at Jihoon, exhausted and totally sexed out for the day, having came a lot that night.

“I can’t get enough of you.” Jihoon whispered and pecked Soonyoung’s lips. “Come on, you better get some rest.”

“I don’t want to move.” Soonyoung whined making Jihoon laugh.

“I’ll carry you.”

“Okay.” Soonyoung prepared to hop on Jihoon’s back when he realized he stained the couch. “Ji, I think I ruined your couch.”

“That’s okay. We can add stains later if you want.” Jihoon joked making Soonyoung blush in embarassment.

“Yah! You’re such a perv.” Soonyoung said as he got on Jihoon back and they made their way to his bedroom where he tucked both of them under the covers.

“No, I’m not. I just terribly missed you.” Jihoon said as he kissed Soonyoung’s temple and pulled him closer with his arms around him. “Come on, get some sleep. We’re not yet done.”

“You don’t have plans of letting me out of this apartment don’t you?”

“Never letting you go.” Jihoon promised.

Soonyoung smiled as he snuggled closer to Jihoon’s chest like how he used to before everything in his life fell apart. He just wanted to stay in the safety of Jihoon’s arms but he knew that wasn’t always true. Jihoon said he’ll never let go, but just when Soonyoung needed him the most to hold on to, he pushed him away.

“Let’s just say you don’t even have to bother wearing any clothes for the things I have planned for you.” Jihoon said breaking Soonyoung trail of thought.

“Yah!”

“Sleep Soonie. I’m here. You’re safe and you’re loved. I love you.”

Soonyoung wished they were true and Jihoon don’t forget again, but he will because all good things must end, even their love.

Jihoon started singing a song until Soonyoung finally felt heaviness in his eyes the softness of Jihoon’s voice and the warmth from his closeness finally lulling him to sleep.

* * *

> *<https://privatter.net/p/7170257>
> 
> ** *Do not read if uncomfortable with NSFW Content/Pictures **
> 
> ** *Contents : Explicit Pictures (This is the reason why I couldn't post it here.) **
> 
> ** *Follow at @sexysunhey (twitter) to access (Age on Bio) **
> 
> ***Same as above less images**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated.
> 
> Rants: 
> 
> @soonhaee or https://curiouscat.qa/soonhaee


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